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Hair Metal Happy Hour

CHRIS HOLMES: STILL CLEVER

 Monday, May 24th, 2010 at 11:30am by

As much as I love (most) hair metal and loathe (most) nu-metal, I do have to admit that there seems to be some unspoken ongoing competition between the two genres – not to see which one can sell the most records (I suspect that hair metal wins in that regard, given that those bands’ reign lasted longer, and occurred in a purely pre-internet error), but, rather, which genre can ultimately embarrass itself more. And while you’d think that any genre that routinely invited DJs in the fold would pretty much win in a cakewalk, some days I really do think that, nope, hair metal has more idiots.

For example: remember when some former members of Snot tried to re-form that group even though Lynn Strait is dead, and then, when that didn’t work out, they decided to reform under the name “Tons,” which, all you Einsteins will surely notice, is just “Snot” spelled backwards? That was pretty dumb, right? It would be hard to imagine a stupider scenario in which former members of a famous band try to re-form under a different name, but are sure to choose one that lets everyone know their point of origin.

But if you can’t imagine a stupider scenario, it’s not because you’re lacking in creativity; it’s simply because you’re not stupid enough. But Chris Holmes is stupid enough. He some other former members of W.A.S.P. have formed Where Angels Suffer, or – yep yep! – W.A.S.

They named their band “W.A.S.” Just let that sink in for a minute.

I almost feel bad for these dudes who are so desperately clinging to the glories of their past just to put food on the table, but then again, this:

-AR

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  • msv81

    I will never, never understand how anybody can talk so much smack on nu-metal and then turn around to say hair metal is enjoyable. Nu-metal, particularly the first generation of it, is pretty fucking good. There, I said it. I’d rather listen to nu-metal than almost any black metal (shit genre that takes itself far too seriously considering it consists of grown men dressed up in corpse paint), hair metal (worst genre EVER, thank you Pantera for helping to put the final nail in the coffin on the shitstorm that was the 80s), power metal (falsetto vocals singing about dragons and mystical fairies in far-away lands is REALLY somehow more respectable than the having a DJ and your vocalist occasionally rapping? Wow, just wow), deathcore/slam (do I REALLY need to explain myself on this one?), and probably a couple of other subgenres.

    End rant.

    • zen dudeist

      different strokes for different folks.
      not looking to make friends, are you?

      • Double D

        it takes all kinds.
        not attempting to woo anyone, huh?

    • Glorious Johnson

      dragons and wizards are infinitely more metal than DJ’s, think about it for just a minute

    • http://heavystreet.com Sat

      Screw zen dudeist….you’ve made a friend in me with your Black Metal / Deathcore-slam comment. The only black metal that matters is Darkthrone and Hellhammer and everything else licks monkeys balls (see Carpathian Forsest for reference). I’d rather listen to Snookie from Jersey shore talk, then listen to Whitechappel and deathcore bands of their ilk’ do their douchie piqsqueel vocals. I’ll have to disagree with you on the Hair Metal bashing as bands like Vain, Tesla, and Circus Of Power rule. Oh! I Forgot…Iwrestledabearonce can also go suck a dick. Now go listen to some Winger kids.

      • deathcore sucks

        hay asshole in wich way dose carpathian forest suck

    • bearbomb

      Couldn’t agree more! And at least having a DJ is trying something different MUSICALLY. How has corpse paint and aquanet ever lent itself to a band’s sound?

  • Double D

    I coulda sworn that motherfucker was dead. I gotta make a call…

    • Doc

      I’m with you… Let me know how the call comes out, cause I thought he died before the Ratt guy.

  • Zodiac Lung

    Me too.

    Maybe I’m confusing him with Robin Crosby, but still I coulda sworn…

  • Sex Robot

    It’s spelt era not error you dolt. And in that video he is drinking water. It was staged for the doco. WASP rules, y’all are tools

  • http://TemptingFateBand.com Cory

    He’s still alive, still making music

  • bill

    he aint dead yet but his tunes are.

  • ibt222

    yeah i thought i read years back that he died of alcohol poisoining. nice to know hes not dead but he’s still a redneck that will never regain a status in metal!

  • bill

    I seen pictures of him that are new. He looks illl man. strung out to the gills.

  • Debbie

    Nothing… and I mean Nothing… compares to late 70′s early 80 metal!!!!! Everything since then just does not compare. I lived that life as a Sunset Strip metal fan 1980-83 which started out when I met then Dante Fox (later to become Great White). My favorite members were Tony Richards on drums (seriously, I was madly in love) and Don Costa on bass. Both were part of the beginnings of WASP and both were FUCKING AWESOME musicians. Don went on to play for a while with Ozzy until he was fired for being to wild for Ozzy… imagine that! Tony was totally screwed by Blackie Lawless and many will agree that they really fucked up letting him go. Best drummer I have ever met.

    Yes, drinking and crazy behavior and personality clashes got them fired right at the cusp of greatness and I am sure it haunts them to this day, but unlike any of you reading this… they DID go after their dreams and DID make it even if it was short lived. I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET THEM. I LOVE THEM ALL.

    As for Chris Holmes, only met him twice in 1982 and he was totally cool, in addition to being totally hot. Although he has had his ups and downs, there is no denying his talent. And again, he DID go after his dreams and succeed which is why we are even talking about him. So what if any of these guys are still attempting to recapture even a little of their previous success. I applaud them for their success in the past and I applaud them even more now for living through lives up and downs and having the tenacity to try try again. It’s more than most of can say of ourselves. Have any of you put out records EVER???

    When I saw that video above years later I was sad, but it didn’t change my mind about Chris as a talent and also a good guy. An example of his honorable behavior: I went to see Tony play for WASP in 82 and while back stage I met the rest of the guys for the first time. Ace Frehley of KISS was there and after the show they were all going to go drink and have a meeting or something. Somehow… I can’t explain… I left and accidentally left my friend Vickie (we were both Navy chicks) behind. She was in a cast and on crutches I might ad.

    When she came outside of the Troubador to find us, we were gone and there she was alone and on crutches. There were no cell phones then, so she had to sit there and wait to see if we’d return. Both Blackie and Chris Holmes had seen her leaning there against the wall and asked her where her ride was and she said she did not know. Again, they were suppose to go to a meeting with Ace, but Chris stayed behind with her waiting for us to return. I did not notice we left her until 2 hours later and I had a 1 hour drive back. He had stayed with her there and finally took her to a police station to call us and wait for us to return as this was a safer location to be at at 4am. He could have been partying with Ace and others in a limo discussing their soon to be success, but he stayed behind and helped her.

    So, how many of you or any other musician would have done that? I call it highly honorable and I and my friend will never forget that. Dude made it big in life, but like many it had it’s limits. My wish for Chris and ALL OF THEM is for health, happiness, peace, and strength to do whatever they want. If the don’t quite live up to their glory days, who cares???? Again, they have already done more than 99% of us and that they should be proud of. Man the world is full of haters and petty people.

    Tony, Don, Mark, Chris… You all still rock my world!!!!!