THE BLOGRONAUT ON NEW HIS BAND GRAVITON, AND FUN WITH FAKE BAND NAMES

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010 at 1:30pm by

blogronaut

A few weeks ago I asked you guys for help with naming a new band I started with my good pals in National Sunday Law, and the response was literally overwhelming. Thanks so much to everyone who replied! Some were good, some were hilariously bad, and some were just hilarious. We ended up debating for another month, and decided on the name Graviton (not Gravitron, as I just discovered MS had reported (smoke weed)) [We've since fixed it! Sorry.  -Ed.], which was inspired by MS reader Nate’s suggestion of Hadron. Thanks for turning us onto string theory as a band theme, Nate! Email me at sachadunable [at] gmail [dot] com with your address and I’ll be sure to send you all kinds of crap.

Honorable mention should definitely go to reader Dave B, who provided such gems as Hella Smelly Belly, GuhGuhGuts, Sweatpants Surprise, and Don’t Injure Car Keys (D.I.C.K.). I don’t know you Dave, but I know we’d get along. Send me your address for some crap as well.

Anyhow, we’ve posted two full Graviton songs for you to check out on our Myspace, Bandcamp, Twitter, and if you’re too lazy to open a new window and require colorful moving pictures along with your music, Youtube:

The coolest thing about all this band name talk is that my love for band name games has totally been rekindled. I’m not sure if any other group of guys are quite as nerdy and weird as Intronaut, but this is pretty much our favorite activity. Whether we’re on the road, in the studio, or at a random social gathering, it is likely that we’ll be coming up with joke band names and laughing at them like little girls.

One of our recent favorite band name games is to try and think of a name, that if it were printed on a flyer, would just be the most ridiculously amusing thing ever. For example, what if you had a band called “Ten Local Death Metal Bands”? No one would ever come to your show. Hilarious. What if you had a band called “My Dicke”? Imagine the confusion in how to pronounce that? Imagine the hipsters who would pretend to know how! “My Dicky?” “My Dick-uh?” “My Dick In Old English?”

That game is great, but the one that is most challenging and intellectually stimulating is the “Have you heard my ___________ band, ___________?” game. Anyone who has ever been foolish enough to let Intronaut stay in their house, party with them, or even tour with them has probably taken part in this one. The object is to basically over think the meaning behind what could be a heavy metal band name. Here are some examples:

“Have you heard my cardiac rhythm reestablishing power metal band, Defribrillator?”

“Have you heard my highly inappropriate thrash band, Raper?” (this band logo is actually tagged on the walls of many US and European venues)

“Have you heard my number crunching LA death metal band, Statistic Intent?”

“Have you heard my stud and rhinestone setting thrash band, Bedazzler?”

….and my personal favorite, courtesy of Mike Lerner (Behold The Arctopus):

“Have you heard my gassy slave killing band, Flatulyncher?”

Feel free to join in on the fun below, everyone!

-SD

  • Alex_P

    These are fun. There’s also nothing quite like a misleading band name. I one day want to be part of a band called “Trashcan full of Foetuses” that play power metal and sing about love.

  • builtforsin

    Thank you for being awesome and linking to bandcamp.

    Also, the songs are pretty sweet too!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Keith-Brown/537636633 Keith Brown

    I almost pissed myself laughing at “My Dick in Old English.” Many thanks are due, good sir.

  • Strapping Young Lad

    These songs are great Sacha! I’m just sad you didn’t pick my amazing band name! :)

  • Insomnivore

    Have you heard my homosexually unadventurous grindcore band Reluctant Rectum or their opposite numbers Prehensile Anus?

  • tom

    Have you heard my prescientific revolution, believeing the earth is still flat, band Bring Me the Horizon?

    Have you heard Al Gore’s new band Brutal Truth?

    Have you heard my band recounting a blocked nose I once had in public, Agoraphobic Nosebleeed?

    Maybe I try to hard…

    • dan

      These are awesome. My attempt, for those of you who took calc:

      Have you heard my limit as n goes to infinity the sum of terms equals zero hardcore band, Converge?

      • http://www.myspace.com/fallenfew BobFish

        HA!

  • http://www.myspace.com/thestarsthrewdowntheirspears Tim

    AWESOME. Cool stuff. Is the whole NSL break-up putting an end to this as well? I hope not.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Casey-Carnage/1021412523 Casey Carnage

    I have two:

    The prison doo-wop group, “Big Bubba & The Soap Droppers”.

    Or the infamous Hillbilly Bluegrass band: “Inbred Jed & The Kissing Cousins”

    • Curt Thrones

      Don’t forget
      “Captain Crunch and the Cereal Killers”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kalle-Virtakainen/583298962 Kalle Virtakainen

    Hey, have you heard my new gay band, vampires everywhere?

    • soy el niño más bonito

      hi-o

    • orbital

      win

  • Dave B

    Fuckin A! I knew all those blunts I smoked were for something.

    Hit me up at fromfromdave@gmail.com.

    Thanks for anything that comes along and the cool column.

    SP. (Self Promotion)
    http://www.releaselist.net
    The most comprehensive release list on the internet!

    • Nate

      Hell yea, weed helped me win too :)

  • Dave B

    Whoops. Should’ve just found his email in the article.

    Don’t spam me bros!

  • soy el niño más bonito

    laughed so hard at flatulyncher

  • http://www.myspace.com/trials Mark Sugar

    When my band breaks up and I do my “mature” solo record (the one full of shitty slow songs), it will be called Old Balls.

  • Pete

    A friend and I are starting a sludge/doom band named Tachycardia… which means abnormally fast heart rate.

  • Curt Thrones

    Iron Thrones is the same way. We love making up side projects and giving them amazingly horrible names. Here’s a few.
    Southern rock band: God Damn Barbeque
    hardcore band: X Tough Friends X
    Doom band: Slugs
    Death Metal band: Skinsess

  • DARPAchief

    Have you heard of my nautical afterthought band, …and oceans?

    What about my tearful tribute to the recent tragedy, Blood Tsunami?

    Crossover Band I Wish Existed: My Cannibal Romance