IN WHICH WE CUT SOME DUDE’S DICK OFF

But he, like, totally had it coming. He was the singer for some band called Beneath the Sky.

I’m kidding. I don’t endorse violence against untalented people. Just front row games of Uno.

ANYWAY, here’s some other shit we happened this week:

• We’re streaming Watain’s Lawless Darkness and the Monolith/Voyager split.
• Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable talked about his new band and Sick of it All’s Lou Koller concluded his “Quintessential Guide to Hardcore.”
• We spoke to Nachtmystium’s Blake Judd and Heaven Shall Burn’s Maik Weichert.
• We checked out Thou’s Summit.
• We met the world’s youngest Nile fan.
• We wondered if Opeth ripped-off Immortal.
• We came up with awards that could be named after metal stars.
• Vince isn’t that into Kylesa, and has some advice for Portal, too.
• Anso thinks that No Prayer for the Dying is the worst Maiden album ever.
• As it turns out, Fred Phelps is still an idiot.

Next week we get to debut that video we were supposed to debut this week, and we have another stream, and some other stuff I’m probably forgetting. ‘Til then, enjoy your weekend!

-AR