«
»
Kingdom of Sorrow Sucks

KIRK WINDSTEIN BEATS-OFF TO THESE CLASSIC PORNO STARS

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010 at 2:00pm by

#5 – Nina Hartley

Any dude born before 1979 has beaten off to Nina Hartley for sure!

#4 – Janine Lindemuller

She’s filthy, and hot. Great combo!

#3 – Heather Hunter

Hot and black! What’s not to love?

#2 – Ginger Lynn

The ole bird still looks good! You’d hit it!

#1 – Seka

The legend! Get your VHS tapes out and beat-off like an extravagant chimpanzee!

-KW

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
  • http://thenumberoftheblog.com Snagon

    Heather Hunter was a fav for me for a long time Mr. Windstein good choice

    • EvilivE

      Yes. I have beat off to Nina Hartley…on more than one occasion.

  • Romaould the Loquacious

    Nice. :P

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carlos-Ramirez/631635101 Carlos Ramirez

    Tiffany Mynx for the win!

    • cougar party

      word.

  • Fabi

    epic post :D

  • shotkocker

    bahhhh, knew it

  • Cryzthormagnusian

    Nina Hartley has the greatest ass ever created by nature.

    One I might put in there would be Christy Canyon.

    • byrd36

      But she looks a little like Reba, I couldn’t do it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Winnett/504952291 Daniel Winnett

    “#3 – Heather Hunter

    Hot and black! What’s not to love?”

    Errr… The fact that she’s black…

    • Driven9

      Hahhh

    • Double D

      Don’t like black chicks, ya little twink? Ahh, more for the rest of us. You don’t know what you’re missing.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Winnett/504952291 Daniel Winnett

        Can’t do it man, charcoaled nipples just don’t do anything for me. But please do enjoy them for me.

      • Cisco

        Yea the douche probably wouldn’t know what to do with all that booty. Anyway, my wife is Black and no charcoaled nipples. Way to stereotype man.

    • Peter

      I just hoped no one said it yet but, duh…

    • Seth

      The darker the berry the sweeter the juice

      • http://heavystreet.com Sat

        Very well said. I think you got that from a Skrewdriver song?

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Sterner/1335958279 Andrew Sterner

          I think I just found the exact definition of Irony in this post. My life is that much closer to completion.

      • chazz187

        once you black you never go back.

    • http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com/ Alkahest

      I say the same thing about black metal all the time.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kasper-Maigaard/1027001938 Kasper Maigaard

        1

    • SonOF

      I thought we agreed not to let Varg post on here..

  • Goolash

    Haha, the old one has no shame! I’ll raise a beer in your honor at the EHG show tonite!

  • All Out War

    Janine Lindemuller…sooo hot. She went a little overboard w/ the tattoos, but she still looks good. I always hated that she only did girl on girl, but that’s definitely changed. Guess she needed the money.

  • PUPPYBALLS

    #1 Nina Hartley
    Say no more !

  • LoomeyTunes

    born in ’78..so +1 on the Nina Hartley

  • Trux

    No Sylvia Saint ??…

    • cougar party

      we have a poster of Slyvia Saint in some cowgirl outfit in our jam room. Seriously, best ass ever.

  • Bryan

    Christ these are some old broads. I was expecting Barbara Bush to show up at some point.

  • wormdrive66

    Thwack Thwack Thwack………….

  • Brian \m/(-_-)\m/

    carmen luvanna. the end

  • narcopolypse

    brilliant post. awesome.

  • :f pete

    sasha grey!

  • Suslin

    ZOMG!!! Metalsuckz is hitting a new low!!!

    Bobbi Starr? NOES! She can’t talk about metalz!!! Kirk Windstein posting pictures of porn stars? A-OK!

    (Yes, I know he can talk about whatever he wants because he has control of the site for a day… just pointing out the hypocrisy in the response to these posts.)

    • cougar party

      Well, the main difference is this article is simply talking about what porn stars are hot, which is a fairly normal and interesting conversation from a males perspective.

      The column written by Bobbi Starr implies that we actually give a shit about what she thinks, not just what she looks like naked, which most of us don’t.

    • Cryzthormagnusian

      Those two don’t even compare. If he’d posted an article breaking down a Spice Girls album and explaining how he’d fuck the shit out of them per song I’d agree that this relates.

  • http://deleted Ken

    Ha! Nina is probably the best( and tightest) of ‘em all! when are you gonna write an ode to her? P.S. what’s up with the mighty crowbar? That”s where the riffs are!!!!

  • Xenogia

    I remember Ginger Lynn Allen in the Wing Commander video games staring alongside Mark Hamill.. hehe

    • Cryzthormagnusian

      In a game of bad acting she somehow set the bar for even worse acting.

      Good game though.

  • Mordecai 9000

    Next on Metalsucks…Bobbi Starr’s top 10 classic porno stars she wishes would bang her..

    :P
    Just kidding guys, nice post. (Janine FTW)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jay-See/726690352 Jay See

    Wow, seriously? After people flame-bombed the comment section for the Porn related posts earlier, this idiot is glorified for it?

    Thanks again for ruining a good blog for the day.

    • lurking jackass

      Hooray for trolls!

  • http://heavystreet.com Sat

    How come Belladonna didnt get a shout out. That chick is hardcore to the max.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jay-See/726690352 Jay See

      Because this is “CLASSIC” porno stars; Belladonna is young as hell
      Notice how OLD SCHOOL the others here are?

      All of this guys other posts are “U guyz woodnt say shiot 2 my face!”, so it doesn’t surprise me he can’t read either.

      • http://heavystreet.com Sat

        I think I hear your mom calling from upstairs, your pizza pops are ready you fucking douche. Weak ass, gutless cowards like you can post all the hate you want, doesnt deter from the fact that youre one big spineless tool.

        • Dave

          Wow, you’re pretty easy to troll. Look forward to your internet toughguy rage in the near future.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jay-See/726690352 Jay See

            my thoughts exactly. why do you think I’ve been returning?
            for the nuggets of wisdom Sat leaves?
            Oh, you used deter in a relatively incorrect context lol

            “the fact that youre one big spineless tool.”
            I’m trolling the forums; what are you doing?

            Damn, this guy needs to head back to school.

      • http://heavystreet.com Sat

        You can troll all you want in forums, proves you’re a man and not a mouse, right? Now go eat those pizza pops dip shit.

        Mother: “Oh, and your laundry is done as well, and don’t forget to take your juice box to lunch tomorrow.”

        Jay Troll: “Thanx mom, you’re the greatest!”

        Mother: “You’re the best troll that a mom could ever ask for.”

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jay-See/726690352 Jay See

          1. I never forget my effin’ juice box
          2. They were taquitos, now stop spying on me
          3. I love my mom; she didn’t abuse me as a child

          • http://heavystreet.com Sat

            Fair enough. A mothers love is the greatest thing in the world.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jay-See/726690352 Jay See

          common ground, good sir.. common ground

          Everyone should love their mother

          • http://www.omimetal.wordpress.com The Greys

            Joey Belladonna is not a porn star. He’s not big enough in the … you know. Not that I’ve SEEN it or anything — that’s just what I heard.

            What? You mean’t another Belladonna? Uh, nevermind.

  • Anthony

    I was born in 1988 and I beat off to Nina Hartley. Even to scenes she did in like 2007.

  • Jo

    What a load of sexist, irrelevant bullshit.

    • PUPPYBALLS

      oh! feck off

    • Fred Durst

      homo

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Sterner/1335958279 Andrew Sterner

        More Irony!

  • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/62449cbe5ea8d22bcc2e76890fceaa37.png Lord Bling

    Wow, some old school here.

    I was born before 1979, and yes.

  • Emmanuel Kunt

    Me like cunt. Me work hard to impregnate

    …cunt iz yummins…

    oog oog oog

  • Tetro81

    Sorry but Traci Lords has all these hoes beat!

    • Sylvester

      Yeah, I knew someone was missing from this list!
      Tracii Lords and Ginger Lynn can come over anytime!

  • dudeiknowmetal

    I totally am offended by this top 5 list as well as the following link featuring two of your top 5 lezzing out…milf style….http://www.empflix.com/view.php?id=52020

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eirik-Kjs-Usterud/1067091137 Eirik Kjøs Usterud

      …

      DUDE.

      You are now the KING of my UNIVERSE.

  • http://evilsausage.livejournal.com/ Evil

    Where’s Tracy Lords?