«
»
Cinemetal

I NOW OFFICIALLY DISLIKE DIAMONDSNAKE

 Thursday, June 10th, 2010 at 4:30pm by

When we first heard about Diamondsnake, Moby’s new metal band with Dave “King of Metal” Hill and some other dudes, I had some questions about how they would walk that very line between actually-funny joke metal band (e.g., Gwar, Dethklok, etc.), and just-plain-stupid joke metal band.

And now that they’ve released a video, for the song “Storm the Fucking Kastle,” the answer has become apparent: they’re not going to walk that line. They are going to be very firmly on the side of just-plain-stupid joke metal band.

This video plays like the kind of thing you make with some friends for fun – but just because it makes you and your buddies laugh doesn’t mean it will do anything for the outside world. (I kinda suspect this is how SNL is written these days, too – I’m sure the “What Up with That” sketches seem hilarious in the writers’ room, but they’re really just tedious and dumb.) All the jokes here are obvious and consequently unfunny; it’s almost bordering on the level of a band like The Darkness, where I’m not even sure that people involved have any genuine affection for metal. In fact, if not for Hill’s presence, I’d say they don’t have any genuine affection for metal.

Check out the clip below, then agree or disagree with me in the comments section.

-AR

[via Metal Insider]

Tags: , , , , , ,
  • dudehole

    exactly. this shit is painful garbage.

  • Patton

    Rubbish

  • http://www.myspace.com/palehorseofhell lord assenfroth

    this is a shit that has been shat, eaten, shat again, eaten again, shat again, eaten then shat and then eaten and shat again, the purest fecal matter.

    • byrd36

      Very, very accurate description, well done!

  • Pete

    Hey now, you leave “What’s Up With That” out of this.

  • Pat

    Meatmen?

  • bjorn_turock

    Two words: Shit Sandwich

    • http://thenumberoftheblog.com/ groverXIII

      You can’t print that.

      • Goolash

        haha, classic

  • MrC

    I want 2:50 of my life back. I’m absolutely in awe of how fucking shite that was. It’s one of those jokes where you find it hilarious, then you tell someone else and see how shit it actually was and that your a complete cunt.

    Fail Moby, you bald fucknut.

  • hyperkulturemia

    Man, I always thought Moby was a turd, but now I’m officially nominating him for biggest douche in the universe.

    Anyone else notice that this is a shitty rip-off of Tenacious D?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-exiKRZZUuU

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lance-Zeran/100000142665110 Lance Zeran

      That was the first thing I thought.

  • Shanx!

    The Darkness is awesome, and their also not a metal band so I’m not sure where that jab at them came from.

    • KilledByDeath

      I seriously don’t get why Axl bashes them so much.

      • soy el niño más bonito

        doesnt he like steel panther too?

        in my opinion, the darkness >>>>> steel panther

  • Tim P.

    Hey Moby, eat a bag of shit. You suck.

  • gauche

    the only good thing Moby has ever done was a pretty sweet cover of Bad Brains’ Sailin’ On.

  • Brian Roach

    this does suck, but i’ll defend Moby’s punk/metal cred, he was there back in the day, and he’s never denied his hardcore and metal roots. He may make lousy metal/hard rock, but i’d venture that he is a genuine fan.

  • BigJoe

    That was awful! I will not try to defend whatever the hell that was.

    However, Moby HAS put out some really good stuff. The album ‘Animal Rights’ was a nice slice of thrash utopia during 1997 when no other band was putting out that kinda music.

  • Ian

    Ya Dave! Storm that fucking Kastle!!!

    But in all seriousness, this is probably the worst video I’ve ever seen.

  • http://~ B. Ewing

    sounds like jack black fucking around

    • Vlygar

      Beat me to it.

  • soy el niño más bonito

    dave likes to conquer from behind

  • You Don’t Know Me

    Not only was that incredibly lame but they sounded like a bad AC/DC cover band. PASS!

  • DemonicLemming

    Sounds like Jack Black making a parody song about AC/DC cover bands.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dylan-Lashafix/1441269619 Dylan Lashafix

    The song isn’t good. The video isn’t good. The video was my kind of humor, and I might have laughed if the song didnt suck my balls, and maybe if they had changed it up and had at least five more minutes of creativity time for the video. The whole thing in the end turned to dog shit fucked by monkeys on amphetamines. Yeah.

  • http://piercingmetal.com/wordpress/ PiercingMetal KP

    I expected this to be a tongue in cheek thing because the guy singing is also the singer from the band Tragedy. They did Metalized covers of the Bee Gees catalog and were an absolute blast to see in concert. This is not aimed at the tried and true Metalhead in my humble opinion and just those who want to see something weird.

  • http://www.flamingtusk.com Zosimus

    Despite all of this, Satanicide was a pretty good band.

  • resistor

    fucking horrible. is this aimed at people who actually listen to metal?
    Moby should seriously know better, the dudes been releasing music for 20 years.

    imbarrasing.

  • Heavy Metal

    AC/DC influence. needs ore grave digger influence.

  • Lucifersmile

    I watched 3 seconds and that was all I could stand.

  • the opposition machine

    i made it to maybe 20 seconds…..that was fucking terrible…

  • bob

    Part of me wants to hate this but part of me loves the shit out of this haha

  • Robert

    Almost as bad as that gigantic fuckin AXE ad I had to deal with before I could watch it.

  • Sigivald

    The worst part here is that Moby is perfectly capable of unironically rocking the fuck out when he wants to, and he’s an excellent guitar player, capable of producing a fine metal guitar sound.

    Too bad he wants to make horrible music with a bunch of other douches, instead of doing it right.

    (I mean, it’s not even very good joke metal.)

  • Genial Gentile

    Unfortunately I have been running around the office all day singing “storm the fucking castle!!!” in my shrillest falsetto. Co-workers have been looking at me like I am a fucking retard, and apparently they are right.

  • Lupambulus

    more like “ich bin SUCK”

  • Eric

    Boring… …If your heart isn’t into it, don’t play it!!! Puke!

  • violent soho rules!

    This is how you storm the castle!
    STORM THE CASTLE by HAMMERLORD