PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A PACKAGE OF CDs FROM ROTTING CORPSE RECORDS

Thursday, July 29th, 2010 at 5:00pm by Vince Neilstein

For last week’s photo caption contest we gave away a couple of copies of The Ocean’s Heliocentric, complete with foil-stamped cover and individual tarot cards for each song. The music itself is damn fine too, as you should already well know. Our two winners are:

Legions: Iron and Steel: “The latest Lucha Libre midget tag team sensation – MINIMMORTAL”
Ken: “BM X. the newest in extreme sports.”

This week we’re giving away a package of 10 CDs from independent metal label Rotting Corpse Records! This is your chance to discover some new and gnarly music from the putrid metal underground. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo and the package shall be yours — remember to comment with a real email address (or include it with your comment if you’re using FB Connect).

Tags: rotting corpse records,

http://www.facebook.com/people/Mike-Long/100000144612811 Mike Long

What a disgrace. Who would put slits like that in the wall?

msl128@comcast.net
Drewtastic

Guy on the left just realized he’s at the Gathering of the Juggalos and not a Gorgoroth show.
AaronDeepurple

Black metal’s latest victim: Wormrot.
Heywood

Juggalos in disguise.
BEHEMOHAWK

Black Metal SEAL… for Satan, Evisceration, and Lemonade. Oooah!
http://www.onslaughtrant.com TheHorizon

If Kirk Hammet had played Black Metal instead of Thrash
http://www.facebook.com/people/Nate-Vaught/1026747408 Nate Vaught

“Here at Corpsepaint Storage, our units are grim and kvlt!

brainvault@hotmail.com
Goro923

Welcome… to The Kiss Klub Kastouts Kvlt!!!
Heywood

Junior high is such a serious thing.
http://www.metalsucks.net DeaThrash

I think this dude touching me gets his inspiration from Gaahl…
Matt Knott

With the hope of volcanoes darkening the sky Indonesia’s black metal scene was gearing up the ceremonial hand signs.
Cryzthormagnusian

I can’t believe somebody married that guy on the right.
M.

Pure Lolocaust or Sons of Suburban Darkness

serpentbearer@yahoo.com
Chris

Black metal: the awkward junior high addition
Name Not Applicable

National Socialist Rap Metal failed to catch on.
Failure

“Waiting for grandma to pick us up.”

CaptainFailure@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/people/Clayton-Russell/553693986 Clayton Russell

Black Bean Metal

http://www.facebook.com/people/Clayton-Russell/553693986 Clayton Russell

eddievanclaylen@yahoo.com
http://myspace.com/theswampzombiecult Blake

Oh fuck, that’s awesome. Wrong, but awesome.

http://thenumberoftheblog.com/ groverXIII

Black Metal Cholocaust

http://myspace.com/theswampzombiecult Blake

Shit – this one’s awesome, too.

http://metallattorney.blogspot.com Metallattorney

Puberty ist krieg!
Legions: Iron and Steel

Two members of the Nicaraguan Black Metal band Nocturno Negro hospitalized with severe flesh wounds after attempting ill advised forearm bash during post show celebration.

Trux

aimed for a second win in a row !

http://www.facebook.com/people/Kyle-Heider/602520830 Kyle Heider

Since when was desert camo useful in the frostbitten north?
http://www.schenkeltown.com SchenkelTown

Robbing the Cradle of Filth
\m/Eluveitie\m/

Jack White’s foray into the black metal world
Permafrost

As it turns out, Gorgathor was the only one who corrected guessed to the answer to the question “2 + 2 = ?”.
Rahm Stein

Before his days in Fear Factory and Brujeria, Dino acquired his taste for babies from his black metal friends in junior high.
\m/Eluveitie\m/

Dorkthrone: Under A Puberal Moon
Beavis

There’s Ozzy in the middle posing for his next album cover.
Vlygar

I am the black wizards… of self storage units.

vdeogmrlr@msn.com
ImMattMan

Dumb Of The Daed

ImMattMan

*Sigh*

Dumb Of The Dead

Vlygar

AAAAAAAAhahahahahahahahahahahaha.

(required)

Evil face, meet storage space.
the hate machine

Ricky “cockgrinder” Martin and Menudo Corpse \m/ living la vida cholo
Corex

Yeah! We’re totally scary and what not.
Josh

The Candyland Soldiers are ready for battle.

Josh

floppychikenstuffyum@yahoo.com

J.J.

“Hey lets go out into the woods and be grimm and necro”
(Guy In Middle)

“As long as we are home in time for dinner,Mom is making Tacos”
(Guy on right)

“I love tacos!!!!”
(guy on left)
J.J.

“Hey lets go out into the woods and be grimm and necro”
(Guy In Middle)

“As long as we are home in time for dinner,Mom is making Tacos”
(Guy on right)

“I love tacos!!!!”
(guy on left)

Jaymzmetal@hotmail.com
Alex W

The most kvlt act in the middle school talent show behind the chorus line singing “Bad Romance”
stan4islav

The storage unit’s security can be easily beaten by playing Justin Bieber.
BruisedMetal

“RUN TO THE HILLS, RUN FOR YOUR….house before the street lights come on and your mom finds out you used all her make up and slaps the paint off your face!
deanerhead

Introducing television’s first black metal sitcom…”Marduk in the Middle”…Thursday nights, this fall on Fox.

BEHEMOHAWK

Win

Randy Kastner

welcome to the corpse paint carnival of posery !!!!
Deven

Mexico’s newest street gang: Mortuuszuma’s Revenge
elston_gunn

“Those guys in last week’s Metalsucks caption-contest photo looked like total idiots, didn’t they!”
http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com/ Alkahest

That pic was actually taken at Ziltoid’s 8th birthday party.

sinistatroy

….yesterday

mike

“Hurry up and take the picture mom before we are going to look stupid!”

mike

“hurry up and take the picture mom before we look stupid!”

MeesterDerp

The latest in Norwegian Dr. Pepper ads.
Darian

They found a great way to avoid that Arizona law sb1070, a little flour and lipstick goes a long way here…

thrashboss@gmail.com
davin

new supergroup “the ratards”
http://www.facebook.com/people/JT-OBrien/568906438 JT OBrien

we have the scariest costumes and will get lots of candy this year!!! ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!\
purplepeopleeater18@hotmail.com
Beastmaster

The cover of Watain’s newest album “Mexican In A Black Metal Shirt”
Goerfe

So that’s what happened to Peter Criss and Ace Frehley but i don’t understand what Wes Borland is doing in this picture
Katia

Old Mexican’s Child. Jumping your border this fall.

Katia

katia_vanessa92@hotmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/people/Alan-Miller/710607007 Alan Miller

just the “jumping your border this fall” deserves a WIN

http://www.facebook.com/people/Brandon-Theodore-Forde/666126214 Brandon Theodore Forde

SIGH?
Adam Vance

young black metal fans these days…..they dont even wash their hand’s after eating powdered doughnuts.
the_dglgmut13

On the left you’ll see me, Brutalizer, and my pals Bumhurts and Weinerdawg, check out my band in the first comment of this page –> http://www.metalsucks.net/2009/07/27/dirt-fest-13-interviews-part-1-born-of-osiris-whos-glenn-danzig/

sean_ip93@hotmail.com
LYCANTHROPE

Black shirts? Check. Spikes and ammo? Check. Face paint? Check. Driver’s license(s)?

…………………………

Looks like we’re all dressed up, and nowhere to go
d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

The Eric Draven Crapdance Extravaganza
Wildman

AND NOW, the WWE presents its newest tagteam…
THE KVLT!!!
Shaun Albro “Cuntry”

Guy on the left looks in utter disgust while thinking “Why the fuck did Juan wear the tan colored pants!”
http://www.facebook.com/people/Brit-Granite/582086079 Brit Granite

One of these things is not tr00 like the others, one of these things just doesn’t belong!
kyle.palmer@hotmail.com
http://ilunsford9@gmail.com Isaac Lunsfolrd

“FUCK MAGNETS!”
“YEAH!”
Moltanic

GTA: Norway coming 2011

Moltanic@Gmail.com
Raoul Dukenstein

“Tell the guys that stole our bikes that we’re gonna cut they asses!”
http://www.facebook.com/people/Richard-Adragna/18902481 Richard Adragna

Auditions for the new MTV show “My Super Kvlt 16″.

adragnarichard@gmail.com
6infinite6hatred6

Tormentor: The Early Years.

That joke is so goddamn super-specific, but it’s better than “The Kvltus Brothers” one I was thinking of.

Anyway, just in case:
CollidingBlakBus@aol.com
http://www.facebook.com/people/Devon-Czekaj/550092101 Devon Czekaj

“Come on, we need to take this quick. My dad wants to park his car.”

harlequindevon@gmail.com
Isaac

It’s Alternate Reality Week here at Metalsucks!
Left to right: Robert Trujillo, Al Cisneros, Misha Mansoor
skullsession

What the guys didn’t realize is the corpse paint was still on their hands… one can only imagine what their cocks look like now.
misanthrowup

This was the exact moment that the producers of the remake of “The Three Amigos” realized that things had gone in a whole different direction!!!!!!!!!!!
Bilbsy

The Mexican Black Metal Militia recruits young!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Robby-Steuer/518113596 Robby Steuer

unchain my bike!!!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Rodney-Wilder/42003558 Rodney Wilder

“Uhh, dudes, PODS is closing in, like, a minute.”

“Okay, one last shot. And this time, let’s make sure everyone knows there is nothing wrong with barrio Black Metal!”

roquedog504@hotmail.com
bitchass

“well if this isn’t morbid I don’t know what is”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Alan-Miller/710607007 Alan Miller

WIN
bitchass

spencer.ward15@gmail.com

canea

Larry, Curly and Satan.
metallicbrian666

Nice khaki shorts Sting.
themutedhorn

Hail Satan… and Mom, more hotpockets!
http://Snacrifice Snacrifice

Now that SB1070 has been blocked, Hector, Artuo, and Carlos can take off their white face disguises and regroup their mariachi band “Los immortal”
Malamor

“We challenge minimortal to death match!”
King Cheezit

La Dia De Diablos Putos.
pikehead

WERE TOO COOL FOR WAFFLES!!!
unclejesse116

the little kiss band started out as little marduk

khoran116@yahoo.com
Argonaut 666

From the director of the critically acclaimed documentary, “Heavy Metal in Baghdad”, comes “Black Metal in My Uncle Tito’s Chop Shop”
Noel

“Hermanos de Judas” isnt exactly what Mexico Disney had in mind when they said they were looking for the Jonas brothers` Mexican counterpart.
Noel

Black metal: the only way to not get laid in Rio.
rattleh3ad

From right to left…
“It’s morphin time!”

“Black Ranger Power!”

“Wait! Why do YOU get to be the Black Power Ranger?”
Greg

FUCK YOU DAD!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jordan-Oates/1476540021 Jordan Oates

If Kerry King would have sold his soul to keep his hair

jco5055@psu.edu
Dwight Cobb

Black Metal: Now kid friendly!
Dwight Cobb

The day Kiss went black metal…and got their youth back.
Dwight Cobb

The Virginborn Virgins
Dwight Cobb

Backyard Lucha Libre
Dwight Cobb

“Honey, would you and your friends like some pizza?” “NO MOM, WE”RE BUSY BEING KVLT!”
Tom

Jimmy and Jonny hope that their new wrist apparel would stop the pigeons landing on them… Sadly, their faces suggest that the birds resorted to tactical bombing…

Tom

Jimmy and Jonny hoped* that their new wrist apparel would stop the pigeons landing on them… Sadly, their faces suggest that the birds resorted to tactical bombing…

yeah, i’m a grammar Nazi… :P

http://www.facebook.com/people/Nuno-Ribeiro/1726306291 Nuno Ribeiro

little shit, snot and stab. Three Myths asexual.

At a site near you!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Tim-Jones/554310014 Tim Jones

It was never a good idea to hire the casting director from Twilight to organise the bad guys for the new A-Team movie.
James

It’s the new gay death metal cover band known as Be-she-moth
Cryzthormagnusian

Disguised as ghosts, the Juárez brothers would set out on another attempt to cross the border.
goon

Seniors! Class of 2011!
cause?

Dude i cant believe your moms letting us see this rated R movie it so METAL just like us
John

Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird that the dude in the middle has his arm around the dude on the left?
loveyou111

____A black man, but alone; A beautiful white lady, but life is not that nice. Desire a mingle of black and white? That’s what
{——W/W/W–b l a c k w h i t e m i n g l e–C 00 M—–} is dedicated to do. Due to our trustful and professional services, new genlemen & beauties are joining all the time and many are making connections every day. It takes only a few minutes to submit a profile, someone there may be waiting for you. Give love a chance_____

`
Dingas McCloud

“Nevermind the cargo shorts, just smear this on your face, quick! Pop this black shirt on…

Don’t take the picture yet Dad! *click*

Damn, you left your watch on. That’s so unmetal. I told you we should have waited until after the photo shoot to kick Alberto out of the band.”
http://www.facebook.com/people/Will-Morley/618112437 Will Morley

This isn’t an entry but does anyone else find it weird that kids who put on corpse paint always style it around someone already in a band? The kid in the middle looks like he’s really trying to be the bassist from immortal. It’s like KISS syndrome but kvlt.
jacob beaudoin

the remaining members of dimmu borgir have really let themselves go.
Satan’s Poopshoot

Get your kvlt khakis! You’re not trooly evil without them!
Mutt Weiler

Whattaya mean there’s more than one Sting? I never heard any of his songs, but that dropping out of the rafters thing is the shit!
Chris

u guys thought avenged sevenfold dressed gat take a look at these idiots

metallicbrian666

Dude, they dress even more gat than Avenged Sevenfold

http://www.facebook.com/people/Richard-Adragna/18902481 Richard Adragna

ALL OUR PENISES ARE ONLY TWO INCHES!!

adragnarichard@gmail.com
Dink

Gaahl decided to create his own version of the neverland ranch.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Sean-Heron/9391234 Ryan Sean Heron

the older brothers of the kids from last week
metallicbrian666

“You look like a fucking bitch on Metalsucks, and if you get raped by a pack of Christians it will be YOUR FAULT!”
Br00tal Bargins

Child Abuse at it’s finest

http://www.facebook.com/people/Alan-Miller/710607007 Alan Miller

Only Comment that actually cracked me up

Noel

“Death Cult Imavirgin”
beaverface

“We like turtles”
Matt

Dad, the background isn’t METAL enough. Fuck, why don’t you listen to me.
Bork

“Straight outta Glencoe”
Tom

Ah, Menudo was never the same after Ricky Martin left.
skullsession

“I hope mom’s Noxzema will take this stuff off!”

or

Somewhere Gene Simmons is readying another makeup trademark lawsuit.
ryan d.

how did you guys get this picture?!?!
this is my band’s first gig
o__0
http://www.myspace.com/adamsweaty Sweaty

“Dude, is your mom is still driving us to the Insane Clown Possie concert?”

“Yeah, she wanted to get some pictures before she waits in the car.”
http://www.myspace.com/adamsweaty Adam

“Ok, I got my sister’s make up, the powered donuts, and the Cradle Of Filth tickets, are you happy now?”

……”I’ve never been happy.”

skullsession

go go “powered” donuts!

http://www.myspace.com/adamsweaty Adam

Damn, guess i should have double checked the spelling before i sent that one in. Dont i feel like a tool, haha

dale schmucker

test tube babies gone wrong
Nate

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be kvltists…
WowWee!

Completely unreadable yes,
completely understandable NO!
no one said black metal isn’t for everyone

“Hey, what is going to happen when I grow out my Black Metal phase.”
http://www.facebook.com/people/Cody-Edmonds/48006848 Cody Edmonds

To Mom’s Metal MiniVan!
Duane

Moments later, Billy’s mom sends his friends home and grounds him for using up all of the powdered sugar

http://dbtallman20@hotmail.com Duane

dbtallman20@hotmail.com

Drew

I didn’t know that John Belushi had a hispanic love child, but that kid in the middle is the spitting image. Casa de Animal, anyone?
http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Sanchez/100000487544617 David Sanchez

They’re only a few shades away from being a REAL black metal band.
wha?

Though only three members strong, the San Dimas High’s “Moonpies” club rocked like no other.
Etzell

Introducing the latest black metal trend: Sped metal.
http://www.myspace.com/adamsweaty Adam

“Rotting Corpse Records made us do it.”
mostholydeath

\m/ This garage is METAL!! \m/
marc

fucking individuality, how does it work?
Frank

Man…. this is gonna be the most bitchin’ BFF picture in history!

chtulha@yahoo.com
Sylvester

Reppin’ the Public Storage Black Metal Scene!
tsniagaesir

The paint was originally designed to show their affection for Kiss. After they got beat up in the playground, they made a quick switchover to black metal. It didn’t help.
Steven Haughey

Rosie O’Donnell’s new shot at fame!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Marcus-Tranter/613591211 Marcus Tranter

Grade school music class
“Hello kids i’d like you to meet our new students from norway!”
“what kind of music do you listen to?”
“black metal”
“anything else?”
“no nothing but black metal”
“well we play jazz and clasical music here in class”
“well then you will have to burn like the churches!”
jadon

sry but black metal is really friggn gay. death metal is sooo much better

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PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A PACKAGE OF CDs FROM ROTTING CORPSE RECORDS

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