Every time I write about Skunk Anansie, a certain contingency of MS readers throw a hissy fit so bad you’d think I raped their father or something. I don’t really understand all the hatred towards this band, but I also don’t care. I fucking love Skunk Anansie, so suck it.

The band reunited last year, and have now recorded a new album, Wonderlustre, coming out September 13, and even though the cover art isn’t the greatest thing or whatever, I don’t even care none. This band has never really had great cover art, so fuck it. If Wonderlustre is half as good as 1999′s Post Orgasmic Chill (the band’s last full-length studio effort) and they tour the States, I’ll be a happy camper. So some of you best start learnin’ to just ignore any posts I write about this record, ’cause I have a feeling there’s gonna be a lot of ‘em.

Tell me what a douche I am for liking this band in the comments section.

-AR

In 1984 Vince Neil went driving while drunk and subsequently killed or maimed three people, only one of whom had actually been stupid enough to get in the car with him. Then, last week, he was arrested in Vegas for drunk driving, demonstrating that the fateful night twenty-six years ago really had a long-lasting impact on him and the way he looks at life.

And how does Vince feel about his DUI? By all appearances, really, really guilty: Last Thursday, three days after the arrest, he asked a crowd in Vegas, “Who’s been drinking tequila tonight? Who’s gonna drink some tequila tonight?” And we know this happened ’cause TMZ has video of the incident.

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If you’re not excited for The Expendables, I can only assume it’s because you don’t have any hair where your bathing suit covers, and have no intention of ever growing hair in that spot. Even with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger only having brief cameos, even with Jean-Claude Van Damme declining to participate (Dolph Lundgren took his role instead) and Steven Seagal not being invited to participate, and even with Charles Bronson unavailable to participate… surely, this must be the greatest gathering of action stars in the history of gun powder. And it has an R rating, which seems increasingly rare these days. If it’s half as violent as the most recent Rambo flick, well, I say just hand it the Best Picture Oscar right now and tell everyone else to go fuck their mothers.

That being said, when I saw the latest trailer for the greatest film Francois Truffaut never got around to directing, I was horrified to hear them using what sounded like some of the shittiest fucking moose rock I’d ever heard in my life. I knew it wasn’t Nickelback, but it sure did sound like Nickelback; so I assumed it was Theory of a Dead Man, or some crap like that. I also assumed that, as is so often the case, it wouldn’t appear in the finished film, but, rather, was just being used in the trailer, probably because it conveniently featured the lyric “Every one of us is expendable.”

Alas, I was wrong. According to the always lovely Allyson B. Crawford at Bring Back Glam, it’s a new Shinedown song, entitled “”Diamond Eyes (boom-lay boom-lay boom),” and it was written specifically for the film. And I know that Vince really likes Shinedown, and I love Vince and respect his opinion with every ounce of my being, but… holy crap, this song is FUCKING AWFUL.

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Just about a year ago Suicide Silence released one of the best metal videos in recent memory for the song “Wake Up” — so why director Thomas Mignone thought it would be good to follow that up with a clip of the band just standing in front of a beige background, I dunno. I like Suicide Silence, I like No Time To Bleed, and I like this song — but holy shit, is this video ever boring.

In fact, while Slayer’s cheap ass vid for “World Painted Blood” is at least ROTFL-worthy, this is just sleep-inducing. If you’re gonna do something crappy, at least make it REALLY crappy so we can all have a laugh at your expense, y’know?

No Time To Bleed is out now on Century.

-AR

Video by spotcoffee

Axl walks onto the Williamsburg Waterfront… nervous, this being his first time seeing Faith No More. He has listened to their music for what seems like forever. Whenever he does so, hours go by in minutes.

He is trying to focus on Rahzel, but finds it difficult. He is wondering what the band is doing right now, wondering if they are nervous, wondering if they are going to make him feel things that he has not felt in a very long time.

He shares another pre-show joint with Vince, takes a deep breath, tries to just relax.

The band finally takes the stage. He closes his eyes and feels his entire body shivers with excitement.

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Now go get drunk n’ barbecue!

-Axl, Vince, and Everyone at MetalSucks

Since Axl and I are very patriotic types (couldn’t you tell?) we’ve decide to close the Mansion a bit early this holiday weekend so we can get to the flag-waving festivities as soon as possible.

Kidding! We’re closing early so we can get hiiiiigh and then go see FAITH NO FUCKING MORE! Neither one of us having seen FNM before (although I had a chance to in 1997 and, for some reason, didn’t), we’ve literally been waiting for this moment for most of our lives. We will not be schmoozing with the industry types at a bar in the back, nor will we be politely bobbing our heads on the periphery somewhere… we’ll be right up fucking front, rocking the fuck out as hard as possible (old fashioned push-pit? I hope). To that end, I’m pretty sure we won’t even be drinking tonight; me because I want to remember this night perfectly, and Axl because he doesn’t wanna have to go pee-pee during the show. The man is smart, I tell you.

Here’s what happened this week in the world of metal:

• Van Halen announced plans for a DLR-fronted album in early 2011. Axl is — shockingly — skeptical.
• As part of “Be Nice Day” at the MS Mansion, we said nothing mean about new videos from Hellyeah and Papa Roach.
• We looked at new releases by Bonded by Blood (as part of “Be Nice Day”!), Ceremony and The Ghost Inside, Mastodon, Chambers, and Nattsol.
• We premiered a new track by NJ progressive post-hardcore mind-fuckers East of the Wall.
• We spoke with Warrel Dane of Nevermore and Sanctuary, and Jon Fine about Taco Riffs.
• We sat in on the meeting in which Disturbed brainstormed the artwork for their new album.
• Glenn Danzig is a crappy driver, but Vince Neil is an even crappier one.

Since July 4th falls on a Sunday this year, the gates of the Mansion will be shuttered on Monday, July 5th — like most U.S. businesses — so we can extend the partying by an extra day. See you Tuesday, Suckers.

-VN

Or so MS Maniac Ranpal Chana claims. And I gotta hand it to Ranpal… this video is absolutely fantastic. The special effects / green screen work and the animation are awesome, and I love the performance footage of each individual band member. I kinda wish Warbringer or Bonded by Blood or someone would make a video like this.

-VN

We know we’re a little late to the party here, but cut us some slack… we were way too busy being nice to everyone yesterday! Not that there’s any reason not to be nice to Iron Thrones. But, ya know, we were pre-occupied. So forgive us for being a little tardy to the party.

Two weeks ago we gave you samples of new Iron Thrones music, and today we give you an entire new song called “Like A Moth to Flame” (although it’s been posted since Wednesday). It’s the opening track on The Wretched Sun, and it’s a helluva way to start off an album. I’m really impressed with the absolutely GIGANTIC sound captured courtesy of the production, recording and mixing wizardry of Will Putney… this record sounds absolutely massive, powerful and clear, just the way it should to capture the dense sound of this band. The composition, of course, speaks for itself… but we knew it would, as these are a massively talented bunch of dudes which is why we chose them (or helped to, anyway) to win this contest in the first place.

Stream “Like a Moth to Flame” on their nifty new Sons of Nero-designed MySpace page. The Wretched Sun comes out on July 27th. You WANT this record. Though we’ve had the music digitally for a while, I just got my physical copy of The Wretched Sun in the mail and it looks fucking sweeeeeeet!

-VN

Listen to the intro for Iron Maiden’s “Wasted Years”…

…and then listen to the intro for Lacuna Coil’s “Heaven’s a Lie.”

Oh, Cristina… you’ve been a naughty girl!

-AR

Remember when re-thrash wasn’t yet a fad? Remember when Early Man were pretty much the first new band to bring the retro thrash sound back and they did so for genuine reasons instead of a desire to sport their eBay-bought Exodus shirts and hi-tops? Remember when somehow all the kids fell hook, like and sinker for re-thrash bands like Warbringer while seemingly leaving Early Man in the dust?

That’s always how it seems to go down, isn’t it? A genre’s true pioneers are the ones who get overlooked. In the case of Early Man I think it also might’ve had something to do with them being a three-piece / having no live bassist, but hey, if Jucifer can do it as a two-piece anything is possible.

Early Man are finally back with a new album, Death Potion, FIVE years after their last full-length Closing In hit the streets (the 2008 EP Beware the Circling Fin not withstanding). Death Potion comes out July 20th via The End Records, but it’s currently available as a digital download for the very metal and very affordable price of $6.66 at Think Indie. The track “Someone Else’s Nightmare” is available for free and the title track is up on EM’s MySpace, so give those a listen and see what you think.

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Y’know what’s fucking metal? Using the carcass of your prey as a means of camouflage yourself in order to hunt and kill MORE of that prey. Now THAT is fucking-A metal.

Nuclear Blast will release Death Angel’s Relentless Retribution on September 3 in Europe and September 14 in North America. And don’t forget that Death Angel are on the the MetalSucks co-sponsored Panic Over North America Tour 2010 with Soilwork, Augury, Mutiny Within and Swashbuckle. Get dates here.

-AR

Whatup with people pronouncing Zoroaster “Zo-Roaster”? It’s pronounced “Zoro-Astor.” He was a prophet, philospher and poet who lived in the 6th Century B.C. Get it right, peoples! This band ain’t got nothin’ to do with coffee.

But despite their heady, historical name and prowess for Mike Tyson’s Punch Out, I feel roughly the same about Zoroaster as I do about Black Tusk, which is to say… they’re a’ight, but why bother? If I’m looking for beardy, doomy, stony metal I’ve got a hundred other choices.

So they’ve got a new video for the song “Odyssey,” premiered by Stereogum. The song does the exact same thing for two-and-a-half minutes (much like another song they recently released), then there’s a really boring middle part with a solo that sounds like it was played by an 8th grader, then it goes back to doing the same thing it did in the first half of the song. Boooo-ring. Finally, with a little over a minute to go we get a pretty decent Taco Riff to finish things up, but it’s obscured by more 8th grade soloing.

So yeah, I don’t know about this band. They’re using up their chances to impress me mighty quick. This is the kind of music that’s fun to jam to when you’re playing it yourself, but not very much fun for anyone else.

-VN

I had a blast when Vince and I saw the Van Halen/DLR reunion tour in 2007 — so much so that I actually considered forking over an obscene amount of money to go see the band on the second leg of the same tour, Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen’s presence be damned. And yet, this rumor, first reported by VH fan site Van Halen News Desk, fills me with dread:

“It’s been a while since I reached out to one of my best sources of Van Halen info over the years, but it had to be done. And I got the information I was hoping for – independent confirmation from a long time source I trust that Van Halen are indeed working towards finishing recording of a long awaited new studio album with David Lee Roth, set for release sometime in the first half of 2011. A single is slated for release before the end of this year, but exact timing still remains very much up in the air. I’m told the relationship between Eddie and Dave remains as complex as ever, but there is a definite desire to get a new record completed.”

I have no doubt that this is really happening, ’cause, well, CHA-CHING! (And I have no doubt that “complex” is the nicest possible word you could use to describe the relationship between Diamond Dave and EVH — lest we forget, these two can’t even be in dressing rooms in close proximity to one another.) But why, if I had so much fun at the band’s concert, am I so terrified by the idea of a new Van Halen album?

Well, lemme ask you this: anybody remember “Can’t Get This Stuff No More” and “Me Wise Magic,” the VH/DLR reunion songs the band recorded for their 1996 greatest hits collection? Yeah, neither did I ’til I just re-listened to ‘em — and I actually bought that CD the day it came it out just for those songs alone (no illegal downloading in those days, kiddies).

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A lot of people think that the work of Aaron Sorkin is too treacly and stylized, and while I certainly understand that complaint, I tend think that, overrall, he’s one of the most entertaining (and certainly one of the most distinctive) writers out there these days. Everyone and their mother can quote A Few Good Men, Sports Night was one of the best series ever to get prematurely cancelled by a stupid network, and The West Wing won a shit ton of accolades for a reason. Sure, Studio 60 and Charlie Wilson’s War were a little on the meh side, but his 2007 Broadway play, The Farnsworth Invention, was engrossing and educational.

The Social Network, Sorkin’s script about the creation of Facebook, made The Blacklist (a Hollywood compilation of the most-read and most-enjoyed unproduced screenplays) a couple of years back, and the announcement that David Fincher — he of Seven, Fight Club, Zodiac, and Benjamin Button fame (to name but a few) — was going to direct the film was certainly reason to get excited about it.

More reason to get excited: Trent Reznor has announced that he’s been hired to score the film. From the official NIN website:

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Last week’s prize was a helluva doozy — we offered up one each of the Lamb of God Hourglass vinyl box, CD set, and Pure American Metal flag to two lucky winners — and, no surprise, we got a helluva lot of entries. The winners:

• Kevin: “New American Apparel Gospel.”
• Liz: “Mike D’Antonio’s first band, Overcastrated.”

Congrats, guys, ’cause those are some really killer packages. For those of you who didn’t win, you can still buy the Lamb of God Hourglass collections here.

This week we’ve got a damn fine prize too: one lucky winner will receive an autographed copy of Ozzy’s latest album Scream as well as CD copies of his entire solo discography. Yowza! Alls ya gotta do is make us laugh with a caption to the below photo. Remember to include a real email address with your comment if you’re logged in through FB Connect. Big ups to Fearless Records for providing us with an endless treasure trove of truly hysterical, laugh-out-loud-worthy photos.

Prolific New Jersey progressive death metallers The Binary Code — whose debut full-length album Suspension of Disbelief we released in December — are back with a new body of work a mere 7 months later, having just announced they’ll be releasing the 4-song Priest EP on August 10th. MetalSucks isn’t involved in the release effort this time around as that was only ever meant to be a one-time thing (as will be the case for any bands we decide to work with in the future), but we’ve had the privilege of hearing the Priest EP, and man is it smokin’! It’s the next step in the evolution of this incredibly creative band to be sure.

In addition to selling their own digital downloads and download + t-shirt packages for Priest, the band has made a very special limited edition of CDs available; the jewel cases have been hand-painted, autographed by all members of the band, and hand-numbered, and man do they look sweet. Only 50 copies will be available (25 Super-Special Edition and 25 Regular Special Edition!) and word from the band is that they’re already almost sold out despite having only been made available last night, so you better get on that horse and pre-order yours today.

Watch the above video clip of the guys making, assembling and signing the limited edition CDs set to clips from the new EP. That’s fucking dedication to your craft. Axl gave ya’ll a preview of new music from Priest back in April when it was first announced, so check that out too if you want to hear more of what the EP has to offer.

Priest EP drops August 10th. The Binary Code will have an EP release party at The Charleston in Brooklyn with East of the Wall (whose bassist Brett Bamberger will be pulling double duty!), Meek is Murder, and Name.

-VN

As a writer for MetalSucks, I find it pretty shocking that there are pretty much no mentions at all of Ron Jarzombek. Many of you probably don’t even know who he is. So I feel that it’s my duty to enlighten those who don’t. You may have heard of Blotted Science, the supergroup composed of Alex Webster from Cannibal Corpse on bass, Chris Adler from Lamb of God on drums (who was later replaced by Charlie Zeleny of Behold…the Arctopus), and Ron Jarzombek on guitar. They’ve only released one album, The Machinations of Dementia, but it received a lot of praise and the band has said that they’re in the process of writing another album. But even though Blotted Science is the least prolific of Jarzombek’s projects, it’s the most well-known and the most recent.

Jarzombek has been making insane shred-tastic metal albums as a solo artist as well as in the bands Spastic Ink and Watchtower (among others) since 1987. He’s guested on albums by Obscura, Jeff Loomis, and Gordian Knot. Yet still, people don’t know about him. This has to change. Just watch some of the videos below if you don’t believe me – I’ve provided a few from his various projects.

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Metal is so… dark, obsessed with death, and full of negativity. Since it’s “Be Nice Day” at MetalSucks, we want none of that.

How about some Positive Mental Attitude metal band names? Take your favorite band name, and PMA that shit. Examples, courtesy Bram at Metal Insider:

• Likebreed
• Eyeheartgod
• Nicemystium
• Philanthropic Tendencies

Now it’s your turn. Go!

-VN

Noisecreep tells us that Sebastian Bach is gonna get the animated treatment for the July 5th episode of childrens’ television mainstay SpongeBob SquarePants.

Naturally, this has nothing to do with Baz’s need to eat and everything to do with his burning desire to bestow upon today’s youth the legacy of Skid Row and hair metal as a whole. Thank you, Baz, for your continued devotion to educating the youth of our country and for being a real do-gooder amidst all the craziness we face daily.

-VN