Listening to my parents talk is increasingly hilarious, because their conversations are starting to closely resemble a George and Gracie routine. They’re both going deaf, and neither one’s memory is worth a damn, so “Please pass the salt” can become a thirty minute discussion; trying to remember the name of the movie they saw with the guy I like who does the thing that’s so funny that they think I should rent will absorb a week of our lives, easy. And my mom got an iPhone, which I told her would be a total waste of money, and it is, ’cause I keep having to re-explain how she can do complicated things, like add a contact. “It’s the icon that looks like an address book and says ‘contacts’ beneath it, Ma,” I keep telling her, but it’s like telling Zakk Wylde to cut it out with the guitar squeals already: totally futile.

I mention it ’cause, speaking of Zakk Wylde, he made a startling discovery over the weekend. From his Twitter account:

Yes, Jason, do tell: what is torrent????

I actually find this kind of adorable, the way I find it kind of adorable that I have to reassure my Uncle Lenny that alien robots aren’t invading, they’re just showing Transformers on television. Zakk resembles his former boss more and more with each passing year; it’s only a matter of time until he’s puttering around the house, playing a continuous game of “Why did I come in this room again?”

-AR

[via SMN]