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What the fuck??

TOM GREEN STILL ISN’T FUNNY; JUGGALOS STILL ARE

 Wednesday, August 18th, 2010 at 10:00am by

We got so many fucking e-mails about this video of Tom Green at the Gathering of the Juggalos that I have to assume they all came from Mr. Green himself, using a variety of different e-mail addresses and IPs, or that he begged lots and lots of his friends to e-mail us and get this posted. For, surely, if this many people still thought Tom Green was worth a damn, he’d still have a television show on a major network, he’d still have a film career, he’d still be shtupping Drew Barrymore, and he most certainly would not be at the Gathering of the Juggalos, where careers (and dignity) go to die.

So why am I posting it anyway? Because my fascination with Juggalos just will not end. To any Juggalos who may be reading this site (and I know there are at least a few of you): Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people?!?! You’re like the Nazis, but less organized.

I’m also posting it for the Gallagher cameo at the end. Holy shit, man — frickin’ Gallagher is still alive.

-AR

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Austin-Pearl-Nutter/1418565949 Austin Pearl Nutter

    It’s ok, we’re all fascinated by them.

  • OldandTired

    Jesus.

    What a wretched collection of humanity. A veritable white-trash extravaganza.

    Couldn’t someone have arrange for small, tactical nuclear device to be cooked off at the center of this mess? You know, something with minimal fallout to avoid affecting the surrounding areas?

    You could tell Matt Richardson was trippin’ balls before he even opened his mouth. He had the thousand-yard stare worn only by combat veterans and the heavily dosed.

    • http://laburroteca.com K-milo

      Thousand-yard stare… That made my day!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Yount/592614999 Anthony Yount

    Yet another reason why you should spay and neuter your pets.

  • Moose_Knuckle

    Something is seriously wrong with the whole juggalo thing, luckily its not quite gotten over to england apart from the odd case. Surely its dangerous for that much white trash to be in the same area. Also am i the only one to find Freddy got fingered pretty funny in a stupid kind of way? The guy sucks otherwise though.

    • vagoo

      Freddy got Fingered was an amazing piece of trash simply because it was allowed to be made in the first place. I can’t believe someone involved didn’t stop it because they saw how stupid it was along the way.

    • Genial Gentile

      Freddy Got Fingered is the fucking pinnacle of hilarity…I stand by this even though people think I’m a retard for thinking it. Rip Torn is incredible in that movie.

      • Full Metal Life Jacket

        I can’t stand by it being the “pinnacle of hilarity”, but I do think it’s pretty funny. Rip Torn is awesome in it.

      • nick

        “Daddy would you like some sausage?”

        • Pastor of Muppets

          I’m the backwards man, the backwards man. I can walk backwards fast as you can!

  • Sean

    I have to wonder how much Tom Green has to hate his life at this point after barely making it 2 minutes into this vid

  • Tom Green’s missing testicle

    Hey, Freddy Got Fingered was a cinematic MASTERPIECE, guys! Hell, Rip “I got so drunk I broke into a bank thinking it was my own home” Torn delivered one of the greatest performances of modern cinema in that movie!

    • Genial Gentile

      Amen brother, hallelujah.

    • Adam

      You can eat that god damn roast beef or you can go to bed.

  • Douchechill

    Whoot woo.

  • zen dudeist

    So sad to see Tom with those people. I wonder how much he charges for an appearance

    • Genial Gentile

      I wonder if he does Bar Mitzvahs?

  • ceth carter

    Tom Green actually seemed completely amazed by what he was seeing. I dont really think the guy fully understood the level of idiocy he was going to be surrounded by. That whole gathering thing kinda reminds me of the slum land in Escape From New York. Just plain flat out scary. I would rather hang out in the ghetto somewhere. That just looks awful.

    • Honeynutzz

      I thought the same thing. Then he started rapping and I realized he was home. I’m very happy for him.

  • Kuranes

    I hope ICP are dead by the time my kids are old enough to attend this Gathering of the Wastoids.

  • Jon Tolbert

    Its like coachella or bonaroo for people with down syndrome.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-John-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason John Crispen

      hahahahahaha

    • GoingDeaf?

      That’s a serious insult to people with Down syndrome.

    • DidgeryDo

      LOL the special olympics of Hippie Fests

  • Izzay E

    I now feel ashamed, to be living in New Mexico…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tyler-Osborn/100001135401725 Tyler Osborn

      its ok man they’ve infested almost every corner of the country….

  • Anthony

    Meh, i’ve seen/met metalheads at metal shows that are identical to this.

    • evilfatguy

      Yep.

    • Monochrome Sound

      Ah, but I doubt you’ve been to a metal show with such a sheer volume of idiots like The Gathering…

  • DemonicLemming

    To be honest, didn’t Tom Green bail from Barrymore just before she turned into a blimp? Aside from that, he was like an earlier, even-less-funny version of Will Ferrell, just with (horse) dick jokes and Canadianism.

    The whole Juggalo bit though….we could either gather them all up and do all testing on them instead of animals (really, what have lab rats ever done to you?), or just shove them all down a razorblade slide into a pool of salty rubbing alcohol, and then set them on fire with napalm.

    • cougar party

      I think she actually turned into a blimp while they were together. I only made it through 5 minutes of Freddie got Fingered, but I recall her being pretty chunky in the film. Can you blame her though? She was married to Tom fucking Greene. Talk about hitting a low point in your life.

      • nick

        She’s pretty well known as being a psychotic bitch though isn’t she. I mean its rare to be a pampered actress your entire life and not turn out pretty fucked up.

  • M.

    he’s still funnier than Seth MacFarlane.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tyler-Osborn/100001135401725 Tyler Osborn

      no.

      • Pastor of Muppets

        yes,

        • http://myspace.com/theswampzombiecult Blake

          No. HELL no.

  • OLINVILLE

    I know the whole juggalo movement has went down hill horribly over the years and coming from someone who was listening to ringmaster when it come out I agree that its a shame to see alot of what has happen (most of all, they got paid and aint mad anymore) but really, you MF are going to set here and bitch about a bunch of motherfuckers getting fucked up and acting stupid? Ever been to an ozzfest?

    • GoingDeaf?

      Sorry, you can’t go downhill when you’re already at the bottom of humanity.

    • Vinsanity

      woot woot. people get that consistently dumb at ozzfest? glad i never went.

      • cougar party

        I hate to say it, but the one and only time i went to Ozzfest, it was a fucking white trash circus.

        • DemonicLemming

          +1. My time was spent fending off drunken meth heads and old topless women with painted tits as much as it was spent (attempting) to listen to second-stage bands.

  • Tom

    seriously, why cant suicide bombers find this place?

  • Vinsanity

    great support for pro-choicers.

  • Vlygar

    I wish I could print out 1000 copies of the Wikipedia entry for magnets and just hand them out to the crowd and the performers.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sara-Petrocelli/519197405 Sara Petrocelli

      YES.

  • Phil

    Im sorry that these 2 douchebag idoits from my city has plagued this country full of these clown wanna be retards. I also find it funny that they dont even hold this gathering of all the white trash morons of the U.S. in their home state. why cause Michigan hates ICP now they cater to the peolpe they talkd shit bout in all thier old albums, chicken neck fuckin rednecks

    • tubcat

      You act like you’re a fan of the ICP with your knowledge of their past.

      • Phil

        i was surrounded by it unfortunately in jr. high school

  • Doc

    Axl is just Juggalophobic enough to make me think he’s a closet Juggalo.

    You know the metal world as a community is very much Juggalophobic, yet that community, and those still-closeted Juggalos like Axl, are the only ones who ever bring attention to stories of this ilk.

    I think Axl should embrace his coulrophalliphilic tendencies and paint his face for all to see.

    Oh, by the way, don’t look it up – I made it up. It means clown penis loving. Amen and good night.

  • Unkle Paul

    Fuck you all, Tom Green is still funnier than you!

  • Tacoloft

    That was a depressing video. All of these people used to be innocent at one time when they were younger (we all were) and now they are just gone. What a waste. Don’t get me wrong, I support any personns right to be as stupid as they want occasionally but when it becomes a lifestyle it’s a damn shame.

    • Tacoloft

      I have seen ICP in concert. Am a fan of some of their music, but man they sure do prey on the weak minded. Their new movie is coming out too: Big Money Rustlas. Seriously…a movie starring Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J. No Joke. How was this made? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pypMXSpZDQ

      • tubcat

        It was made cause white trash across the country paid them money and there is a market for it. That is about all there is to say on the matter.

  • Malamor

    Interesting. When Tom begins his golf cart ride through Wiggerville he is all “Well hello fellow concert goer!” inside of 3 min he caves into “Damn G-slice, how’s da fam up in this bitch.whoot whoot” or what ever wanna-be from the mean streets of lot number 7 bullshit that was. I was praying the crowd would jump the stage and beat that washed up piece of shit to death… unbelievable.

    • kirk windsteins beard

      +1

      the man has a lot of credit, but a lot of credit can still run out….

  • Mort

    Metal Sucks bloggers = failures at life.

    Juggalo Family = hip hop and horror legends.

    Fuck you.

  • Johnny

    What do you call the average metalhead?

    Below 40 IQ.

  • Ronald

    Why name site Metal Sucks when you love metal? Because you’re admitting the truth!

  • Manny

    What is the difference between a metalhead and a juggalo?

    Juggalos have a life, and make a positive impact on the world.

    Metalheads are retards!

    • Anvil Hammerfall

      If by positive you mean landmine detectors, bullet catchers, slaves, bedpans (actual bedpans), getting drug dealers into retirement, and increasing the population at an unnatural rate… then yes, Juggalos have a positive impact on the world.

      • Manny

        Major hip hop legends = Juggalos

        Metalheads = Losers.

  • Richard

    How many dicks does a metalhead suck per night?

    Depending on how many shitty concerts he has to go to, up to 3,000.

    • Howie

      Thats’ not even… how was that intended to be funny? That’s not even an attempt at an insult. It’s just an arbitrary number. This is the worst thing I have ever read.

  • Dan The Man

    Metalheads = Meth snorting, sister banging cocksuckers.

  • Anvil Hammerfall

    When I was i High School, I don’t think I met one juggalo who actually graduated or ever got their GED.

    • Machinist239

      Me neither. Every icp kid I ever had the misfortune of meeting was a dirty, uneducated, drug using loser. I thought Tom Green was gonna make a joke out of it all until he started rapping…..so sad.

  • Bon Scott

    I bet that Ozzy Osbourne is ashamed to have the makers of this site as fans.

  • http://alternateworld.tumblr.com/ Zakk

    Honestly, I think Tom Green is hilarious especially in Freddy Got Fingered and Road Trip. It’s a shame he hasn’t gotten any more movie offers and has to do the gathering.

  • Mozart

    What do you call a man who doesn’t fuck his sister? Someone who doesn’t listen to heavy metal!

  • Beethoven

    How many fingers do metalheads need?

    Two on each hand, one hand to flip what the morons think are “devil horns”, and the other to finger-bang their sisters!

  • DidgeryDo

    MBon Scott, Dan The Man,Richard, Manny, Ronald, Mort, Beethoven

    We know this is all one person you dumbass.

  • James

    Juggalos are this generation’s version of Deadheads. ICP is the new Grateful Dead. Check the similarities in crappy repetative music, over-merchandising and constant touring, and both groups having complete tools for fans!

    • DidgeryDo

      There are definitely similarities but clearly one is a HELL of a lot harder to defend then another.

    • John Adams

      Fuck you.

  • DidgeryDo

    Juggalo’s are the end result of two con-men selling the detritus and feces of the modern American urban waste-scape to inbred white trash as if it were gold. It is a decrepit, ignorant culture born from another allready diseased one, only bastardized further….Basically that makes Juggalos and ICP a genital wart that’s actually growing off another genital wart inside the crusty asshole of a meth hooker. It can be said certainly that while Metalheads can be idiots also, the incidence of intelligence in metal fans IS FAR higher than Juggalos. These rejects are isolated from the rest of the world in their backwater Bible belt states and in fact are rejected from these communities as well making them pariahs to social lepers. As one might imagine, people within this subset are almost entirely without merit and are a complete ignorant mess. Just like in the video. I’m ashamed to be a part of a society….no…species that produced something so incredibly base and repugnantly stupid.

    In the eighties Castro rounded up all the homeless, mentally challenged, criminals, pervs..dregs of sociey, etc put them on a boat and sent them to Florida. Basically Cuba flushed their toilets onto our shores. Well I propose in 2011 we have the first Juggalo Cruise! Woop Woop! The human waste in one Gathering would be enough to repay the favor to Cuba. We just need a big enough boat and enough Faygo root beer for them to survive the journey to their new home in Havanna. America would be a better place.

    • Manny

      Eat a dick and die, you useless waste of life.

    • Randy

      Metalheads = whiny retards with shitty taste in music.

    • Randy

      Heavy metal is a joke. It was invented as a scam to lure in the most ignorant, abusive assholes in the world by claiming a harder sound than normal hard rock and faux controversial imagery copped by talentless bands to sell bad records. It involves zero musical talent, and is entirely based on imagery and promotion than on any legitimate musical quality.

      Metalheads claim to be underground, but mainstream media like MTV and the radio devote entire blocks of programming and even stations to playing heavy metal music.

      Recommendation? Ship every heavy metal artist, and everyone who likes metal to the moon.

      Fuck metalheads.

      • Randy

        The world would be a much better place without heavy metal or metalheads.

    • leroydragon

      that was pretty funny man, well done!
      haha
      “Basically that makes Juggalos and ICP a genital wart that’s actually growing off another genital wart inside the crusty asshole of a meth hooker.” haha

    • Genial Gentile

      Best comment you’ve ever posted. Bravo!

  • http://www.pottedstore.com zoinks

    Actually, there are two Gallaghers touring the country simultaneously. They’re brothers. What a concept.

  • Juggalotus

    This website is garbage.

    • Malamor

      Wow, I am surprised you could type that with one hand, while grabbing your son’s hair as you fucked him in the ass…I am sure Springer would be quite impressed!

  • Milenko

    I am embarrassed to be of the same species as anyone who disses Juggalos.

    • Lack_of_Comprehension

      I’m embarrassed to be of the same specie as a person who calls themselves a juggablo.

    • Sandblast

      I agree with that dude above, I too am embarrassed to be of the same species as anyone who calls themselves a juggalo.

  • SomeKid

    Worst part about it is that around 7:50 when Tom is by the crowd there is a Deicide shirt visible.

  • Violent J

    WHOOP WHOOP! Violent Gay…I mean, J…is in this bitch! It looks like a lot of you aren’t down with the clown. Well bitch boys, The Gathering of the Jugga-hoes…I mean, Juggalos…was a resounding success! By success I mean Gallagher was up in that bitch, 20 pallets of Faygo were sprayed on our adoring tools…I mean, Juggalos…and ICP finally learned how magnets work!!! That’s right…I’m a BITCH magnet, I got to fuck a bunch of white trash pill popping sluts…I mean, Juggalettes…at the Gathering! And Tila Tequila got her ass booed off of stage! Family entertainment all around…MMFCL you mothafackos

  • Joshie

    You know, me and some friends were entertaining the idea of attending one of these gatherings one time, not because we like the horrible music, but just in the same sense someone goes into the wild to view animals in their natural habitat. We finally declined to go based on the fact that I’m sure the smell would destroy our nostrils. However, after watching this video, I’m quite glad we didn’t go? It really looks like a scene from a horror movie. Like Two Thousand Maniacs comings horrifically to life.

  • ryan

    it almost makes you wonder. a casio and a 808 and you two can be superstar icon like violent j. omg its like the movie idiocracy come to life.

  • ryan

    too not two

  • zilch

    It may not be pretty but what the fuck, at least these people are doing something with themselves involving loud music and having a good time.

    When did metalheads become such intolerant puritans?

    Can’t stand the music but after reading some of these posts I’m siding with the Juggalos.

    Cheers to the Family!

  • zac

    i still think tom green is funny…. CORN ON THE COB!!! , but i hate juggalos

    • Joe the Almighty

      why?

  • LoomeyTunes

    the late 90′s are alive and well in Michigan

  • Jay

    First of all Tom Green is the funniest man every a lot of you ass gargling cock worshipers would think bill dicks aka bill hicks was funny nay I say…the dude was more boring than watching the wizard of oz in purple while drinking purple kool-aide

    So fuck you haters Freddie got fingered is awesome all hail my very intelligent yet irony ridden from hell comment.

    Will too is a genius but not on the epitome of humor that is the Tom Green Machine.

    That is all.

  • Thrashtildeath36

    Now I feel bad for defending juggalos cause they wanna diss metal heads over one biased stament