Contests

AND THE TOUGHEST MOTHERF*CKER IN HARDCORE IS…

  • Gary Suarez
450

AND THE TOUGHEST MOTHERF*CKER IN HARDCORE IS…You guys have had over two weeks to answer the question: Who’s the toughest motherfucker in hardcore (past or present)? And answer you did! Well, it’s about time I announced the winner, don’t you think?

First things first: I disqualified almost anyone who selected Henry Rollins because, essentially, most of you who picked him don’t seem to know the name of any other guy in hardcore with muscles and an attitude. It’s not that I don’t agree that he’s tough-as-fuck and an icon, but I was looking for “thoughtful/interesting/funny/brilliant” answers. Those who picked someone that was on a hardcore album released in the past, oh, fifteen years were given serious consideration, as I was looking for some good candidates in contemporary hardcore. And really, nobody picked any member of Terror? It’s a Terror giveaway… you coulda scored some brownie points for sucking up. Sheesh!

So anyway, though there were several great entries, in the end only one person could win the prize. And that winner is… Andrew Sterner, for his long-winded but well-put defense of Rollins:

Okay, it’s been said so many times, but Rollins is the king of this contest. Nobody’s even close to him as far as being a tough motherfucker. Why? Well…..

From a musical standpoint, Rollins era Black Flag is quintessential hardcore: it’s raw, it’s violent, its dirty, and makes you want to throw a cage full of mansion monkeys into a meat processor, light a family of “love children” on fire, and rob the national treasury at (nut)sack point, all while blasting ‘Rise Above’ out of a boombox.

From a physical standpoint, he’d a rampart of chaotic muscle and bone bound with gritty, pebble ridden sinew. The man is pushing 50, and he still has the figure of a 22 year old that pumps horse steroids and speed into his testicles…with a flavor injector. It wouldn’t surprise me if I saw on the news today that he hijacked a plane to South America, so he could rip an Anaconda from jaw to ass, just to say he did it. Keep in mind the man is straight edge, so him being a steel wall of will and power is pure genetics.

From a social standpoint, the man truly does not give a flying fuck what people think. He has no issue saying what’s on his mind. He knows what he knows, and doesn’t care if you hate him because of it. In fact, he’d probably enjoy the notion someone hates him because he supports gay rights. He’d then probably find you, and beat you(physically or verbally) until you saw things his way.

Now, what truly separates him from anyone else on this planet is that while he can be a complete hardass every waking moment he takes a breath, he chooses not to. The man is not only politically savvy, but he’s fucking hilarious. He can tell you that you are a complete and total waste of life, then have a crowd of thousands laugh right at you. Many people would say this disqualifies him, but they miss the point entirely. Rollins is such a hardass motherfucker, he doesn’t have to be a hardass to make you look weak and pathetic, although he can pull that card any time he wants to remind everyone.

So really when it comes right down to it, not only is he the most balls-out tough motherfucker the hardcore scene has/will ever see, I’d make a wager to put him in a category of the most hardcore motherfuckers to ever live.

So congratulations, Andrew. You’ve just scored yourself a vinyl copy of Terror’s imminent new album Keepers Of The Faith and the corresponding 7″ teaser single, courtesy of Reaper Records!

-GS

Tags:
Show Comments
Metal Sucks Greatest Hits