Hi I’m Ezra Lux and I’m 9 and my dad is helping me with Crud Wizard. I like to listen to music and learn. My favorite band is Iron Maiden and I hate Reagan, and hippies, and Jesus.

So reads the blogger profile of Crud Wizard, a new metal blog helmed by aforementioned 9-year old Ezra Lux. Since we also love Maiden and hate hippies and Jesus we can totally get down with Crud Wizard; we’ll make an exception at the mis-directed hippie hatred. Ezra’s approach is surprisingly accurate in its simplicity, and (I’m being totally serious here) you’ve got to appreciate it for its pure, direct language. Sample post titled “My Metal Weekend”:

I had a very metal weekend. Here it is. On Friday I saw Dysrhythmia, my dad’s friend Colin’s band at the bar Slims. I had an awesome time. Dysrhythmia was very rhythmic and intricate. Colin played bass, and was quite good. On Saturday I went to Tidal Wave, the metal festival in McLaren park. The first few bands weren’t that good but when Stone Vengeance played they were o.k. But then they played “I Don’t Know” by Ozzy Osbourne, it was cool. Then came Giant Squid who I’d never heard, and they were good. The second day my dad’s friend Sarah gave us a ride. And the best band by far was Amber Asylum, Sarah’s band. But during the whole thing I had a lot of fun, like rolling down hills, exploring in the park, building log forts and climbing trees.

I mean, right? He’s also got some choice entries on his favorite album covers (including Cannibal Corpse!) and his thoughts on classic albums by Thin Lizzy and King Diamond. It’s all interspersed with highly entertaining “State of the Day” pieces that take a look at, you guessed it, one glorious United State per day, each paired with an ’80s hardcore band — and hey, I’ve really learned a lot!

-VN

The next Darkest Hour album is gonna be something of a turning point for the band, regardless of how it’s ultimately received — it’s their first away from Victory Records since 2000′s The Mark of the Judas, and guitarist/all-around awesome d00d Mike “Lonestar” Carrigan is no longer “the new guy,” so I suspect that his shredtastic powers will be even further exploited than they were on The Eternal Return (and to the band’s credit, my understanding is that they welcomed Carrigan as a songwriter from the get-go, and never really treated him like “the new guy”). Also, it’s a new Darkest Hour album. That’s just reason to be happy right there.

And now there’s reason to be even happier: the band has announced that Soilwork’s Peter Wichers will produce the still-to-be-titled effort. Of course, Swedish melodic death metal has been a HUGE influence on Darkest Hour’s sound; it’s hard to think of anyone better suited to said sound than Wichers, who is Swedish melodeath royalty.

This album was always gonna be one of my most-anticipated of 2011, but now my desire to hear it has grown exponentially. Obviously, there’s no word on a release date from E1 yet, but we’ll keep you up to speed…

-AR

After the jump is a photograph that was sent to me today by an anonymous reader. This photograph I guess would be considered NSFW, although I don’t know why — the nudity is completely tasteful. In fact, I’m not sure who took this portrait (Ross Halfin, perhaps?), but it’s striking: gritty, real, honest, and gorgeous. I think it’s so terrific, in fact, that I feel the need to dissect it.

If all glam bands took photos this good, the world might have taken them more seriously. Kudos to Bon Jovi for participating in such a radical work of art.

See the photograph in question after the jump; my thoughts follow.

Click to read more…

So as it turns out, Blackie Lawless is a real asshole — but that doesn’t change the fact that W.A.S.P. rocks, and that no artist should have to put up with shit from Tipper Gore.

And no husband should, either. So what if Al Gore was actually a closet metal head, and his divorce from Tipper meant he could finally rock out with his cock out? This is the scenario painted by the always brilliant The Onion:

Click to read more…

Early Graves vocalist Makh Daniels was killed in a van accident early this morning en route to a show in Reno, NV, according to The Gauntlet [via reader Stephen Parker]:

The van’s driver reportedly fell asleep and he lost control. The van and trailer traveled off the right shoulder, rolled and came to rest off the freeway in a grassy area. None of the nine occupants were using safety restraints and the adult male victim was ejected from a rear cargo area where he and two others were. The victim was pronounced deceased at the scene by responding emergency medical services personnel.

The driver and one passenger were transported by ambulance to Rogue Valley Medical Center for treatment of non-life threatening injuries.

It’s incredibly tough to sum up our feelings about this in words. Early Graves were a fantastic band who were only just getting started; we premiered a track from their crushing new album Goner this Spring, and the former band comprised of the same dudes — Apiary — was a favorite of Kip W’s. We’ve also gotten a ton of emails from readers expressing how much they loved the new album.

We can only imagine the pain all the members of the band and Daniels’ family are currently experiencing. On behalf of the entire MS staff, our thoughts go out to them.

-VN, AR and everyone at MS

Photo credit: Rebecca Reed

I only vaguely remember Yellowcard, which is to say I remember that there was a terrible band called “Yellowcard,” but I don’t remember their music/hit song/whatever. I was about to look it up on YouTube, but then I decided to just slam my nuts in the door and call it even.

ANYWAY, I mention them now ’cause the MetalSucks Maniac known as “MetalRod” sent us a link to the below video of Yellowcard trying to get a wall of death going. I say “trying” because even though they do get everyone to run around and stuff, the crowd doesn’t part more than about two feet away from one another before the charge begins. So they probably ran into each other with the force of cotton falling on other cotton.

Even funnier, though, is the Yellowcard dudes’ instructions to the crowd. I’ve never seen such a timid demand for a wall of death (and they never use the phrase “wall of death,” I guess because it might scare their fans). And, needless to say, this music in no way, shape, or form calls for a wall of death, or moshing of any kind. In fact, I’d say the only band whose music is moshable even though they have a violinist is Hung. In fact, let’s just go ahead and make that rule, okay?

-AR

Senor Bivins is an internet personality best known for doing vocal covers of deathcore songs on Youtube (see previous coverage on MetalSucks and Stuff You Will Hate), as well as not having a sense of humor. If you’re curious what he’s been up to lately, here’s a quick update!

In this video, he reveals that he now has a driver’s license, a new job as a stocker at Walmart, and generally seems pretty high on himself — makes me think of the Vandals song “Movin Up”

Click to read more…

Here’s a band we get a lot of emails about but haven’t covered much to date: Massachusetts technical melodic death metallers Within the Ruins. Since their new album The Invasion drops on August 31st and they’ve already released two new songs from it on their MySpace page, now’s as good a time as any to give these guys some e-ink.

My take: Within the Ruins are a solid band with decent musical and songwriting chops. They kinda remind me of what The Black Dahlia Murder might sound like if they were aligned more closely with the tech-death scene; they’re technical but not overly so (no “weedily weedily”), and there’s plenty of Swedish-style melody working it’s way into the fabric of every concise song. That said, I’m not sure what separates this band from other similar ones (maybe I just need to listen more) and they occasionally veer too close to deathcore via the employment of tri-tone breakdowns… in other words there’s a whole lot of Triple A riffs. But there are plenty of sweet riffs too.

So what do you guys think of this band? After all, I’m just some lowly blogger / pseudo-journalist and you’re the consumer. Take a listen here then come back and comment to let us know.

-VN

Animals as Leaders completely lived up to my uber-high expectations at the NYC stop of the MetalSucks co-sponsored Summer Slaughter tour last night; they were positively phenomenal. What’s more, I wasn’t only person so stoked in advance and so satisfied after; the minute openers Vital Remains finished playing hundreds of kids bum-rushed the stage to jockey for a good spot for Animals as Leaders, and the enthusiasm for Tosin Abasi’s traveling troupe of troubadors did not abate throughout their set. Guitar geeks screeched at the opening notes of each song, heads bobbed along with each polyrythmic shift, eyes laid transfixed on Tosin’s hands of lightning, and last but most certainly not least, bodies grooved along with the pulsating, atmospheric soundscapes.

It’s so good to see that so many people really, really like this band. They deserve all the attention and praise they’re getting, and all too often deserving acts get lost in the shuffle of what’s hip or scene. Animals as Leaders are neither, but judging by the reaction last night I’d say they could cut it on their own headlining tour right now, and they’ve done it solely by playing things their way and their way only. “Fuck yes” for good music winning a battle for once!

Here’s Tosin Abasi playing through “Song of Solomon” in a video he recorded for EMG pickups (posted on Got-Djent.com). Hopefully this will silence the haters who claim Abasi is just a fast, soul-less shredder; yeah, he’s fast as fuck, but LOOK at what he’s playing — there’s composition, forethought and most certainly soul behind those ripping quick leads. Abasi is one of the best guitar players in the world right now. Watch:

-VN

Boy, I love Iron Maiden, but I gotta say, it’s like they’ve been going out of their way to piss me off lately.

It’s one thing to do a tie-in with a real video game, but a lame online video game has got to be one of the biggest wastes of promotional dollars imaginable*, and maybe doubly so for Maiden: their fan base is either young enough to know the difference between a shitty game and a good one, or old enough to be completely confused by the entire concept of a video game.

And yet Maiden have launched an online game, and, being a dutiful metal blogger (and it being the news doldrums of August), I decided to give the game a shot. One problem, though — I can’t get past this screen:

I’ve tried on three separate browsers to no avail; at this point, I feel reasonably certain that it’s not a problem with my computer, although fuck do I know.

If anyone can get this bitch to load, let us know in the comments section whether or not it’s as weak as I assume it is.

-AR

*Remember the one for Mastodon’s Blood Mountain? If you didn’t, I’m sorry to have reminded you.

Last week SMN posted a video of every Unearth song ever in ten seconds; now they’ve got one for Meshuggah. And, yes, it’s just as funny. And, no, just because you laughed doesn’t mean you’re a bad fan. I love Meshuggah too, but come ON, y’know?

-AR