«
»
Unnecessary Roughness

UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS: THE RED CHORD’S GREG WEEKS TAKES ON THE N.F.L. IN HIS NEW WEEKLY METALSUCKS COLUMN

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010 at 5:00pm by

Let the Games Begin!!!

Hello there. MetalSucks is letting me bring you my heavily opinionated, and often correct, views on today’s NFL. Once a week, I’ll be letting you know about the upsets, great plays, and ridiculous behavior of our beloved athletes.

The Saints-Vikings re-match was a great way to kick off the season. In a repeat of last season’s NFC Championship game, The Saints, once again, were victorious over There’s Something About Mary actor and AARP-dodger Brett Favre and his Vikings. In Eagles news, I still love seeing Michael Vick lose. Nothing against Philly, but that guy’s a dick.

In AFC news, Tom Brady of my New England Patriots was in a car accident Thursday morning on his way to practice. He and his hair walked away unscathed. The gentleman who ran the red light and hit him, however, is still in the hospital. Even after being in an accident, Brady led the Pats to victory over the reality show-filled roster of the Cincinnati Bengals. I’m hoping Cinci Q.B. Palmer dates a pop star, then goes on vacation with her so we can see T.O. get all misty in the press.

Broncos newbie and holy roller Tim Tebow didn’t do much in their opening game against Jacksonville. He was fun to watch on the Gators, but I’m skeptical about his pro ability.

That’s all for now. See you next week!

Next week’s game to watch: The Pats @ Jets. This rivalry goes far back and should be one not to miss!

-GW

Only a Michael Vick defender wouldn’t visit The Red Chord on MySpace.

Photo credit: Chris Fulcher

Tags: , , , , , ,
  • John

    Highly Informative, as long as the bias is in favor of the pats I support it

  • ass

    Hell yeah, you got my vote. Can’t wait to see the Patriots to ram that loudmouth lardass.

  • ass

    ram that*

    • William Grimmkvlt

      Yeah, I’d like to see Rex Ryan squeal like a pig, Deliverance-style.

      Seeing that the universe seems to reward assholes for their repugnant behavior, I expect to see the Philadelphia Dogkillers and the Pittsburgh Serial Rapists in the Super Bowl where the media will proclaim it “the redemption of two fallen heroes” or some grade-A horseshit like that, totally glossing over Vick and Ben’s previous acts.

      • Matt S

        And what exactly does off field behavior have to do with a game where grown men are paid to throw a ball to one another? Who the fuck cares? Or do you just enjoy being a holier than thou?

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ben-Alexander/1092891172 Ben Alexander

          I typically don’t give a shit about off-field behavior, but Vick should be strung up from a tree for what he did. Digging ditches would be more than he deserves, much less getting paid millions to throw a ball. Fuck him and anyone else who does what he did to an animal.

          • jimmy

            Animals are…animals. Fuck em.

      • Dubs

        Lol, if you had millions of dollars and were then girls would say you raped them all the time.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Rodriguez-III/1435762004 Jose Rodriguez III

        Rapelisberger!

  • Cryzthormagnusian

    Meh, a subject better written about elsewhere.

    • http://www.heavymetal.co.nz Damien

      1

  • el fucko

    GO DAN MARINO!

    • Novel

      13

  • Genial Gentile

    Pats huff mad dong.

    • MoonSnake

      Thank you for this, I laughed heartily.

  • Waldo

    haha this was pretty good, looking forward to it every week to see how it goes.

  • lkgf09

    Why would you get a Foxboro Fudgepacker to do this column?

    JK. I love Greg and the Red Chord. I’m scared about what the Pats will do to my Jets this weekend.

    • Geetarz

      Jets D shuts them down. Its gonna happen.

      • Chris

        No No the Jets are gonna get killed u should take a note from last weeks game and realize ur not all the good loading ur team with players that used to be good but past their prime wont win u a super bowl

        take a tip from a Yankee fan if u wanna win a championship buy good players that r in their prime lol

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Winnett/504952291 Daniel Winnett

        I don’t trust Cromartie to cover the side opposite Revis. Sure Rex’ll stick Revis on Moss all night long but to be honestly Houshmenzadah (spelling?) took Cromartie apart in week 1.

        • syke

          If Moss is covered by Revis tightly all game long, who will cover Welker? Dude had nearly 200 yards last year against the Jets while Moss was covered…

    • Cryzthormagnusian

      You don’t sound like you have a lot of confidnece in your team. Some fan.

  • Matt S

    No mention of the Seahawks and their triumphant beatdown of the 49ers? lacking. Go Hawks!

    • Shanx!

      Hell yeah

    • mick

      Im a Niner fan and congrats seahawks fans.. I didnt even see it comin’. I didnt (to quote Jim Carey from Dumb and Dumber)…..but I got to say to Greg there are teams that play on the West Coast as well, FYI

      • Biclops

        Goddamn Frank Gore was my first round fantasy pick. Fucker. Oh well, at least I had Shonn Greene as my other RB this week…

    • JW Gacy

      YES. How sweet was it to see Hasselbeck scramble in for a TD after what the Niners did to him last year when he tried that. I was not expecting the Hawks to win, very nice surprise and start to the season. GO HAWKS. (oh and I was exited to see some NFL on MS, but this was kinda weak).

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Rodriguez-III/1435762004 Jose Rodriguez III

      a minor setback for the niners. they’ll be ok.

    • SON1KdethMUNKY

      Goddamn right!

      I live in Ohio so I’m stoked to hear their game against the Broncos is being aired here next week.

      I’m SdM and I support this column!

  • http://www.schenkeltown.com Schenkeltown

    michael vick is a scumbag, but he should still be the starting qb for the eagles.

    schenkeltown lives!

  • msv81

    Wonderful. Another useless column that’s going to waste space on what is supposed to be a METAL blog. I can already see the meatheads who are going to defend it by arguing “but football is totally metal”. If people want to read about sports, go to espn or some other related website.

    Please, stick to music. It’s annoying enough to deal with the fanaticism and hysteria of football season every year without having the lunacy spread to a metal page. A bunch of steroid driven, unintelligent buffoons throwing around a pigskin to appease the mindless, entertainment starved masses has nothing to do with heavy metal or music. Blech.

    • Brock Sterns

      does msv stand for “my sandy vagina”?

      • Genial Gentile

        Zing! Nice one.

      • msv81

        clever.

        • Dubs

          clever. but true.

    • http://www.facebook.com/korczyk6sic6 David Korczyk

      Someone got beat up in school a lot…
      I’m not even a fan of football, and I don’t mind this article. So shut the fuck up, you whiny, pale mofo. Go back downstairs and wait for mommy to cook the chicken nuggets.

      • msv81

        So, because I don’t agree with this article and I think football is a sport for neanderthals, I must be pale and live at my parents’ house? Typical sophomoric argument made by a stereotypical metal head. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be associated with this group of individuals.

        “I don’t agree with you so you’re 12 and live in mommy’s basement”

        Wow, it’s like every other comment on blabbermouth. Considering 75% of the kiddies who frequent this site are under the age of 25, I find it laughable when said argument is used.

        For the record, I couldn’t care less if you don’t mind this article. And I will continue to speak my mind as I wish. Such is the beauty of the internet.

        • SourDeez

          Football isn’t a sport for neanderthals. It’s chess with people. Winning is all about deception, it’s a battle of wits.

    • http://www.metalsucks.net Vince Neilstein

      But you complain about every single article we write even when we “stick to music.” Honestly, why the fuck do you even bother with this site? You hate everything we do.

      -VN

      • Metalguy

        I love when you respond to comments. Always hilarious

      • msv81

        I don’t complain about “every single article”, though admittedly I’ve been bored and underwhelmed by the content of this site lately. The term SUCKS is becoming more applicable by the day.

        You do raise a good question, however; why I bother with this site. Considering it’s been headed down the shitter more and more consistently, I think I’ll waste my time elsewhere. Funny you complain about my complaints, though. Isn’t traffic what you aim for? You like to stir up controversy and talk shit but you certainly can’t seem to handle it very well.

        • Dubs

          Obvious troll is obvious

      • SukMyBoomStik

        Personally I don’t mind a little variety in the columns here. The responses from the people that hate them are as entertaining as the columns themselves.

    • NickB

      No one is going to argue that “football is metal”. They’d simply say that this is a blog site and they can put whatever the fuck they feel like posting on it. Why does it matter to you? Is the split second it takes to scroll over the article and skip it really that unbearable?

      • Matt

        ” A bunch of steroid driven, unintelligent buffoons throwing around a pigskin to appease the mindless, entertainment starved masses”

        Someone sounds like a closet hippie. There’s a hippie jam fest not to far from where I live. It sounds like you should go join your people.

        • msv81

          That’s right. I’m captain hippy. You know, because anyone who doesn’t buy into football must be a tree hugging flower child.

          At least hippies have more to discuss than “dude did you see that amazing touchdown last week? Man, the PATS RULE!”

          • Brock Sterns

            translation: “blubber blubber blubber get this sand out of me”

          • Matt

            I didn’t quite say that either. It just sounds like you’re really butthurt about a sports article being on a website that YOU chose to read. So what? Maybe people like sports on this site….I never played sports nor am I very into them so I’m not really “defending” football by any means. But what the fuck does it matter that you have to skip ONE article? Give me a fucking break dude. And since Greg is in a METAL band writing a guest column on a METAL blog site (notice how no where it says “we only write about music”) this doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal. Since Greg is in metal music I still see this being relevant to people who like metal and football. Imagine that.

            While I agree some of the articles on this blog have been lame lately I’m not going to whine about every single thing. This is Axl and Vince’s blog. Considering this is something they started as a joke I think they’ve done pretty damn well. If they choose to have a non-music related article they have every damn right too just like your annoying right to troll.

            So my advice to you is to start your own blog and do it better. Seriously. This isn’t me giving you a “stereotypical 15 year old” reply. I encourage you start one, reply back the link and we can voice our opinion on your superior thought of what a metal blog should contain. Look at groverXIII. He started his own and it’s pretty fun to read. So your turn. GIVE US TRUE METAL BLOG

        • Dirtman73

          As much as I hate to agree with My Sandy Vagina, he’s right. Football these days is played by a bunch of sociopathic troglodytes that would be patting each others asses in a federal prison if it weren’t for the fact that get paid to play an arena sport. I enjoy watching it, but then I’m man enough to admit that I like seeing thugs and future criminals get their steroid-laden heads and limbs smashed into jello.

          And on that note, here’s to the Giants making it to the playoffs this year, and FUCK THE CHEATRIOTS. Just fuck them.

          • Dubs

            Oh yeah, IMO I don’t think any football fan with more than half a brain would agree that it’s played by thugs. Jesus, that’s half the fun.

      • metalcupcakes

        It becomes relevant to a metal site when a metal artist writes about it. It’s not the coolest article but its not the end of the world either. I’ll read it.

      • Carl

        Football IS metal, it’s the only thing Nathan Explosion was good at in highschool

    • Chris

      Cry u little bitch

      Just cause u dnt like football dsnt mean u have to complain about it cause it seems like everyone else does. Football is good fun and ur prob just mad at the high school football team 4 making fun of u. GET OVER IT!

      • http://www.myspace.com/palehorseofhell lord assenfroth

        come on pmsv81, even im not this big of a dick. i thought it was a cool article, i loved his column on metal injection, this guys hilarious! im looking forward to this every week.

      • msv81

        It’s hilarious how so many of you get insanely defensive about your beloved game of future prison gangbangers man handling one another. God forbid I don’t conform to spending my Sunday afternoons watching that boring, mindless “game” and arguing about which team is better than the next, who’s fantasy stats are the greatest, and what the “plays of the week” were.

        I also find it laughable that the arguments against me amount to deeming me “a bitch” who got made fun of in high school or got picked on by the football team hahahahahaha. That’s right. Anyone who stands on their own away from the crowd of retards who love football so much must in virtue of that be some sort of outcast. I love it!!

        What else is fun? You all call me a whiny little bitch and in turn whine and bitch about it. “You don’t like football, well FUCK YOU!” HAHAHAHAHA.

        You’re all a bunch of morons as evidenced by your lack of grammatical skills (surely a consequence of rapidly diminishing brain cells due to spending far too much time watching the idiot box), your asinine arguments, and your apparent necessitation of reaffirming your manhood by being a fanatical football fan.

        Football sucks. So cry and bitch and moan about me some more!

        • Matt

          Where is your ass so I can kiss it?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carlos-Ramirez/631635101 Carlos Ramirez

    G-I-A-N-T-S !!!

    • Genial Gentile

      I was surprised at no mention of the Manning-on-Manning crime about to go down this weekend.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Barrie/695461310 Sean Barrie

      The only real football team in the Greater Metropolitan area, thank you very fucking much.

      • Chris

        Hell yeah the Jets can talk all they want but they still suck

    • SourDeez

      All this hype about the fucking Jets is making me really happy to be a Giants fan.

  • Spike

    What the fuck is NFL? Bunch of girls wearing girly maxipads and helmets bending over for each other. Not very metal. And I’m from fucking England, this pussy sport makes no sense. Don’t fucking continue this shitty column.

    The Red Chord are however, pretty damn awesome.

    • Genial Gentile

      Your national sport is played exclusively by 4th graders in the States. Deal.

      • Alex_P

        Fuckin’ English! Football is a game played by athletes. Soccer is a game played by bad actors.

        With mullets.

    • Dubs

      The average soccer player steps the wrong way and falls to the ground bleeding out all of the integrity and manliness he had while football players routinely get concussions and broken bones. Now the fans on the other hand… well, I’d bet money on the soccer fans if there was a fight.

      • paganheart

        Hahaha! This. ;-)

        I love (American) football almost as much as I love metal, so I got no complaints. Looking forward to this column!

    • Chris

      dnt judge the sport until u understand it its much more fun to watch then soccer oh wait im srry i mean “football”

      • leroydragon

        Aussie Rules Football, Cunts. Kick all your arses.

  • http://www.facebook.com/korczyk6sic6 David Korczyk

    Nothing to say about the Lions getting robbed with 24 seconds left in the game?
    I know the Lions don’t really count as a pro team, but still.
    Even when the Lions win, the NFL makes sure they lose.

    • MetalRod

      Haha yeah I was thinking the same thing man!

    • BumpItCharlie

      I’m a DIE HARD Bears fan, but yeah that rule is fucking terrible. I remember a couple years ago, it happened to the Bears TWICE. Berrian had a catch taken away, and so did the original Adrian Peterson. There wasn’t an uproar over it because it wasn’t game winning, but Berrian’s was in a critical moment if I recall correctly.
      So, to be honest, I don’t really feel bad for the Lions. What they’re gonna get 3 wins instead of 4?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-John-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason John Crispen

      anywhere else on the field that would have been ruled a fumble and he probably wouldn’t have let it roll away. the call could have gone either way. since it’s the lions, it went that way.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Randon-Bowerman/100000186242024 Randon Bowerman

    There is so much bullshit on this website its hard to keep up with anymore.

  • Metalguy

    At least its not LOST

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tito-Lopez/44400409 Tito Lopez

    Greg, I want you to know that i read this in a boston accent. it definitely made it more entertaining.

    • BumpItCharlie

      You have to go to Kissingsuzykolber and read Tommy from Quinzee then. Fucking hilarious, and a pretty damn accurate interpretation of a Boston sports fan.

    • SourDeez

      Best phrase ever to read in a Boston accent: “Mark farted in the car on the way to Dorchester, what a retard!”

  • Mastobater

    About time we got a football column going, metal + football = win.

  • DarneloTr0n

    wtf footballs sucks I hope it dies.

  • dallascowboyfromhell

    the red chord and football in one place? i just came. how bout them fuckin cowboys (except for jason garrett, he can eat a dick.) Dez Bryant rookie of the year

    • Chris

      fuck the Cowboys u lost to the Redskins how does that feel?

      And Tony Homo is the biggest choke artist in football and ur coach is shit

      • http://www.myspace.com/palehorseofhell lord assenfroth

        they will never get the early 90′s back. i was hoping they would take the super bowl this year, but it looks we will be lucky to make the playoffs

    • BumpItCharlie

      Gotta keep an eye on Dexter McCluster for ROY. Explosive playmaker. He’ll be getting offensive touches soon enough in KC. Always fun to watch when he was in Ole Miss.

  • DustintheWind

    I love The Red Chord almost as much as I love Tom Brady…

  • Chainsword

    Fuck yes!

  • Chris

    Yeah Fuck the Eagles and Fuck the Jets theyre gonna get Killed by the Pats

    GO GIANTS!!!

    • Chris

      and in this picture he looks like Zach Glaifawhateverhisnameis (the fat guy from the hangover) lol

  • Sin and Death

    You forgot to mention the Raven’s D embarrassing the Jets offense in a 10-9 slugfest. Run that up your ass, Rex Ryan! BOOM! TERMINATOR!

    • BumpItCharlie

      I have the biggest man crush in the world on Ray Lewis. Murderer, snitch, whatever, I’ve never seen so much intensity on the football field in my life!

      • Sin and Death

        FREAKIN’ BOTTOM LINE!

        Oh yeah, and one last thing I forgot to add to my original post:

        Fuck Boston sports teams, and fuck their fans. Seriously.

        They always whine, “Oh no. The Red Sox are only going to finish the season 20 games above .500. All is lost, woe is me.” Or “Boo-hoo, the Pats lost in the first round of the playoffs this year. I mean, we’ve only been in the playoffs every year for the past decade! When can we catch a break?”

        God, I’m so the glad the Ravens rolled you whiny fucks in the playoffs last season…

  • Spanky

    I love the football stuff, I love The Red Chord….but I wish you guys could’ve gotten Carl Brutananadilewski to do this weekly thing

  • Howie

    Seriously? Nobody mentions the Cheifs? Fuck you all, a win on MNF to start the season deserves mention.

  • http://www.myspace.com/monotheistmetal Shiv

    LACES OUT, DAN

    • hobo7088

      hahaha

  • Edika

    It just amazes me how you guys have taken rugby, wussed it out with all the protective gear (and still be able to get hurt) and named it football while it is primarily played with hands. And the game played solely with fee you call soccer!
    I’ll leave you with the wisdom of a fine t-shirt a friend has:

    It’s football, not soccer sucker!

    Obvious troll is obvious.Let’s get them numbers for the guys in MS rolling (but deep down you know I’m right hehehe!!)

  • Gecko

    Well I love The Red Chord, and I love football, and I especially love the vadges that rail against the NFL saying it’s just a bunch of meatheads playing a stupid sport as they hide behind a computer screen. I would love to see someone say that to Ray Lewis. But this column does need to expand pretty quick, cause this basically seemed like Monday morning’s Sportscenter. Good start, but let’s get creative!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Gifford/1367109641 Chris Gifford

    PATS ALL THE WAY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!

    YOU KNOW EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU WOULD SUCK TOM BRADY’S DICK ON COMMAND!!!

  • http://deadpigeonproductions.com/ PaulterA

    Everyone complaining about a football article on a metal site: It will take a simple flick of your finger to scroll past it. Pretend you’re flicking your bean and get over it.

    There are only a few blogs that can keep my attention through most the day and Metal Sucks is one of them. Even if I didn’t like football (I do) it’s something entertaining to read while I wait for the next post.

    Go Broncos! (Give Tebow a year. He can’t do any worse than Cutler did for us.)

  • fritz

    Man.. This dude has a sick beard. Just throwin that out there.

    • SourDeez

      Yeah, for real. They should give him a beard care column too.

  • Double D

    It would’ve been nice to see a little more written on the subject.

  • vagoo

    meh, football is painfully boring to watch… you know it’s only about 11 minutes of actual play time for every game? that is ridiculous… most of it is commercials, replays and watching players stand around….

    hockey is way more exciting to watch… plus, they play metal at the games, so it is a bit more topical (ha). I can’t believe how often I hear Dimmu Borgir at an NHL game… and of course mainstream metal plays all the time, especially Metallica. They must have some deal with the league.

    …hmmm, can we get a hockey person on here?

  • http://myspace.com/shepherdsgatemusic,myspace.com/burymeinsmokemusic Michael “The Armenian Demon” Fenton

    Awesome column, I look forward to it every week!

  • David

    It’s too bad you couldn’t get someone like Kerry King or Scott Kelly to represent West Coast football.

    Raiders!!!

    • BumpItCharlie

      But, what the Raiders play isn’t really football these days.