Decibel is cooler than we are, which is why we’ve kidnapped their kitties and told them we’ll drown the fuckers if they don’t write a weekly column for us. Lucky for all cats involved, they agreed to the terms. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli.

It actually took some doing this time around, but congratulations to commenter du jour “Mat” for correctly guessing our November Hall of Fame, Angel Witch’s self-titled 1980 nut-crusher. As aforementioned, he scores a free six-month subscription to Decibel, not to mention — should he deign to drop me a line — a Rapegoat sticker and maybe some additional ludicrous extreme ephemera.

The Angel Witch HOF isn’t even the big highlight in our November issue, as you can see from the image above. I mean, we’ve all seen the new video by now, and thumbs up to Mordecai 9000 for the Han Solo dig in the comments, but this get-up’s a little more Queen of Naboo IMHO. And while Shagrath at no point in our cover story mutters, “So, this is how liberty dies — to thunderous applause,” maybe he explains the sikk new threads a little. You’ll have to see for yourself.

Of course, if you’re in the Dimmu-sucks-and-we’re-homos-for-putting-them-on-the-cover camp, you can always feast on a creepy Michael Gira interview, Kylesa backlash in the reviews, Q&A heaven with Dave Wyndorf, a Pig Destroyer studio report, and a Red Chord tour report, featuring Guy Kozowyk’s delightful memories about this very site! Now bow your heads in respect for the Mets’ recent tragic number acquisition and give us your money so we can sell you some fucking cars and shit.

-AB

If you don’t buy yourself a copy of the November 2010 issue of Decibel or, better yet, buy yourself a full subscription, Andrew Bonazelli will send the dude who played Jar Jar Binks to your house to annoy you ’til you wanna kill yourself.