The Webernets

SOMEONE OUT THERE REALLY LIKES TERROR’S SCOTT VOGEL

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I’ve seen Terror live a few times, and they definitely know how to put on a fun show. I guess I wasn’t paying close enough attention to front man Scott Vogel’s stage banter, though, ’cause I don’t recall hearing him say anything especially noteworthy — yet someone has started a website, called Vogelisms, that is nothing but ridiculous quotes from the hardcore superstar. Who the hell is following Terror so closely that they have an abundance of Vogel quotes? I have no idea, but the site is funny as hell. Here are some gems gleaned from just the few minutes I’ve been looking at it:

“I need your help singing along to this one. It’s called ‘Don’t Need Your Help.'”

“If you can see me, that means I’m here.”

“I wanna see dudes, fucking dudes, front to back, side to side!”

“It doesn’t matter if you have a dick or a pussy, we all belong here.”

“If I were you guys I’d be sitting outside smoking weed rather than be in here.”

“Take care of each other out there. Everyone here is my brother, let’s make sure everybody goes home safe. Alright, let’s stomp some heads.”

Rob at Metal Injection — where I first learned about this terrific addition to the internet — found some choice quotes, too, my favorite of which is, “Soundguy, can I get more stagedives in the monitors please?” If Terror don’t make a t-shirt bearing that slogan, they’re really missing out on a fantastic opportunity.

The funniest part of this whole thing is that a Google search of “Scott Vogel” brings up Vogelisms first, before any other Terror-related content. These quotes are gonna end up being Scott Vogel’s legacy, man!

Interestingly enough, Vogel and Terror will soon be on the “To Catch a Predatour” trek, which will be headlined by The Acacia Strain and Vincent “The Yogi Berra of Metal Lyrics” Bennett. (My favorite Bennett lyric on TAS’s latest, Wormwood: “When you’re dead you’re done you’re dead you died!”) Should be a good time! Get dates here. And, of course, enjoy more Vogelisms here.

-AR

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