Whether he’s being too winded to sing the lyrics to his songs, getting liposuction on VH1, killing and maiming people as part of a drunk driving accident in which he was the drunk driver, demonstrating that he leaned nothing from that incident by getting arrested for DUI more than two decades later, or showing no remorse for that DUI by joking about how much he loves drinking a few days after the arrest, there’s no denying this simple fact: Vince Neil is a classy dude. Classier than you, classier than me, classier than anyone most people will ever know. I half-expect him to start wearing a monocle and smoking with a cigarette holder, he’s so classy.

TMZ reports on Neil’s latest attempt to win the “Classiest Dude Ever” award:

Click to read more…

A reader calling himself “Ross UK” tipped us off that Insomnium have released “Weather the Storm,” a new song featuring guest vocals by Dark Tranquillity’s Mikael Stanne, apparently in anticipation of DT’s upcoming European “Where Death is Most Alive” tour. And that’s really all the info I have. But it’s an awesome new Insomnium song, so, really, what else do you need to know? Sometimes, in my darkest moments, I’ve considered suicide, or, worse, taking a job at a hip-hop magazine, and it’s only the thought of all the new Insomnium music I’d miss that keeps me off the ledge.

Somebody e-mail me an mp3 of this please.

-AR

Cosmo Lee at Invisible Oranges called the below commercial, for next month’s Brainsqueeze Fest, ”the best ad I’ve ever seen for anything,” and it’s hard to argue with him. The spot is clever, funny, understand its target audience, and, oh yeah, small detail, makes it clear what it’s selling long before the product logo actually appears on screen. (Although, truth be told, it’s so damn good that even if it turned out to be an ad for Garnier Fructis, or Axe Body Spray, or Maximum Douche, or any other number of products, I probably would have purchased that item.)

I suspect that at least some of the ad’s success stems from the fact that it is truly DIY — it was made, in part, by musicians and indie label peeps involved with the fest. So its creators actually have a passion for what they’re selling, as opposed to some Madison Avenue executive whose attitude is ostensibly, “We’re being paid to shill for this product that no one actually needs and that doesn’t really do anything, so let’s not-so-subtly tell the viewer that his or her life sucks and will cease sucking only when they buy this useless piece of shit.” You should head over to Invisible Oranges to learn all the ins and outs of who did what — but I will tell you that the ten year old is MetalSucks’ favorite prepubescent blogger. No, I don’t mean Ziltoid.

Ads like this one can exist today because television is no longer required for broadcasting. That’s the good news. The bad news is, I don’t think this spot will ever actually run on T.V. But holy shit, it would be awesome if it did.

Brainsqueeze Fest takes place October 8 and 9 Oakland. The line-up is pretty killer, and includes Municipal Waste, Cannabis Corpse, Toxic Holocaust, Ghoul, and more. Get details and tickets here.

-AR

Right up there with “Shana Tova.”

Gee, Mike, from the bottom of my blackened Jewish heart, thanks for the new year’s present. Don’t worry, there’ll be time to atone for your sins a week and a day from now; you can still take it back!

I’m definitely still in the denial phase of this whole thing. Sigh.

-VN

Our inboxes are currently blowing up with this link, a lengthy post on Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy’s personal Facebook page, in which the DT mastermind / genius / orchestrator / everythingman announces he is leaving the band. Yes, you read that correctly; Mike Portnoy — the heart and soul of DT — is leaving the legendary band he helped create.

As best I can tell the post was indeed written by Portnoy; it certainly reads like him, and the Facebook profile it was posted from has 185,993 likes which would seem to indicate it’s actually his profile. And, yep, there we go; Roadrunner Records’ publicist just responded to our email seeking confirmation. Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Portnoy has officially left the building.

As for an actual analysis of what this news means to me — and to you, my fellow Dream Theater superfan — my mind is so fucking boggled right now that I think I’m gonna hafta take a day or so to think about and digest it. So, without further ado, Mike Portnoy’s Dream Theater departure letter:

Click to read more…

You may recall that about a month ago I offered several hundred CDs from my personal collection and promo from 2010 (including CDs, DVDs, shirts, vinyl, and other assorted doo-dads) in exchange for creative barter from one lucky MS reader. I got hundreds of offers, most of them laughable but a few of them awfully tempting. But in the end it was a no-brainer; when MS reader Randon Bowerman of Odessa, TX stepped up and offered Bocephus, pictured above, a taxidermied duck shot by his own father, I knew I’d found my match.

Bocephus looks positively striking on the wall of the recently relocated Vince Division! The photo doesn’t do his wings justice, but they have brilliant blue highlights, and you can kinda see the green on his neck although it’s brighter in real life. Big ups to Random for doing a killer job packing him up safely for shipment to Brooklyn and granting Bocephus his dying wish of flying cross-country one last time; I hope you enjoy all those CDs, dude. Props are also in order to Shane Third of Havelock, NC who made a valient effort with a pretty cool offer, but in the end it just didn’t work out. Thanks to everyone else who entered; you’re still quite welcome to regale me with gifts of baked goods, joints and indentured servitude.

-VN

This Friday, September 10, I will be taking over the (click)wheels of steel at Heavy Metal Happy Hour. Expect a healthy melange of hardcore punk, noise rock, and DIO (R.I.P.). To entice you further, there’s 2-for-1 drinks from 6:00PM until 9:00PM, so there are plenty of chances to get lit before you rage the night away. The venue is Arrow Bar (85 Avenue A).

Hope to see you there!

-GS

Holy shit… is it really almost time for CMJ again? The ever shorter days, dimming sunlight and declining temperatures tell me that it is… but it’s still kinda hard to believe summer has just about passed us by. Thankfully not all is bad in the forecast; there’s a killer slate of fall metal tours on the horizon, and, as this post’s headline would suggest, our very own CMJ Music Marathon showcase!

MetalSucks, Metal Injection and 1000Knives have teamed up for what is sure to be the marquee metal show at this year’s CMJ Music Marathon in New York City. To be held on Wednesday, October 20th at Club Europa in Brooklyn, the showcase will feature a mix of metal veterans and up-and-coming metal talent. Headlining the bill will be A Life Once Lost in what will be their first NYC appearance in a year and a half. Relapse Records experimental metallers Car Bomb will also bring their brutal brand of metal to the bill, along with metalcore up-and-comers This Or the Apocalypse (Good Fight), new Roadrunner Records thrash signees Baptized in Blood, and progressive hotshots Last Chance to Reason.

There’s no question about it: this is the metal event to be at this CMJ (which spans from October 19th through the 23rd). Tickets are $10, doors are at 7pm, and the show is All Ages.

I’ve listened to “Precursor to Enslavement,” the new Oceano song, three times already. And by “listened,” I mean “I’ve hit ‘play’ and then at some point started to think about a variety of other topics, ranging from salad spinners to the line at the post office to whatever the fuck that grime under my toe nail is.”

I just can’t seem to stick with this song. I know you may think I’m high, but I’m not — that might actually help me pay attention. And I don’t have ADD, at least not that I know of. I just… keep… drifting off.

It’s not even like I’m bored by the music, so much as I think my brain just can’t maintain interest in a song that sounds like every other fucking deathcore song ever written by this or any other band. These might be the definition of “Triple A riffs.” I mean, they MIGHT be. I can’t say for sure, ’cause like I said, I’m having a really hard time paying attention.

Wait, fuck was I writing about again? Oh, yeah. Oceano have a new song.

Listen here if you want. It comes off the group’s latest, Craptagion, which Earache will release on November 9.

-AR

When Sumerian Records announced they’d signed Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s Bizzy Bone to a recording contract this past July I predictably ridiculed the move and made a joke that we’d likely soon see Bizzy Bone opening up for The Faceless on their next tour.

Well, seems that I wasn’t too far off. This footage of Bizzy Bone performing live in California is actually from June 12th, before the signing was announced, but that’s Tosin Abasi of Animals as Leaders on guitar. AAL aren’t on Sumerian but Abasi’s ties with the label run deep; he filled in on guitar for Sumerian signees Born of Osiris on tour in 2009 and his frequent collaborator Misha Mansoor’s band Periphery is signed to Sumerian, just to name a couple of connections.

Unfortunately the sound on this video is pretty poor, but a few of Tosin’s leads do shine through. Now… an Animals as Leaders shred cover of “Tha Crossroads”… that’s something I’d pay to hear!

-VN

Thanks: Binary Code guitarist Jesse Z.

Unfortunately none of the MetalSucks crew were able to make it to Richmond for last month’s Gwar-B-Q, but everyone we know who went said it was an awesome time. Now our bro-bros at Metal Injection have posted some footage of Rawg — basically Gwar sans costumes — performing the classic track “Sick of You.” And it’s just super, ’cause not only does the song rock, but it’s always nice to be reminded how handsome the members of this band are without those masks.

As if that wasn’t enough Gwar goodness for you, Metal Blade has announced a November 9 release date for the band’s new album, Gwar’s Bloody Pit of Horror. I assume months of touring and insanity will follow.

While we eagerly await said debauchery, remember that Gwar frontman Oderus Urungus is now accepting questions for his MetalSucks column, “Ask Oderus.” Ask him a question here!

-AR

Katatonia’s MetalSucks-sponsored “New Night Over North America 2010″ tour kicks off today! Featuring support from the always-excellent Swallow the Sun and Orphaned Land, the Swedish metal legends’ latest trek is guaranteed to be a killer time. And to celebrate, MetalSucks is teaming up with Peaceville Records and Omerch to give away a Mayones guitar played and signed by played and autographed by Katatonia during the tour! How awesome is that?

Here’s how it’s gonna work:

Click to read more…

I’ve been mugged and I’ve been conned, but, luckily, I’ve never had a break-in. I imagine it feels like you’ve been violated; I know that might sound funny, but I don’t mean it to. Maybe it’s not as bad as a mugging in that there’s no threat of violence, but it’s way worse in that someone invaded your most personal space.

And so I feel a lot of sympathy for Machine Head’s Robb Flynn, who recently lost a lot of valuable stuff — including a guitar gifted to him by Dimebag — during a break-in. Here’s a full statement on the matter from Flynn, including an offer of a reward for anyone who can help retrieve the stolen goods:

Click to read more…

We’ve already told you how we feel about NC-based metallers Vanisher, who feature in their ranks members of Bloodjinn and Glass Casket, North Carolina royalty. Their debut album The History of Saints drops on Tribunal Records on September 14th, and now, in addition to the couple of tracks they’ve got on their MySpace page you can also stream “Conviction Cell,” the album’s very last track, below. It’s a good taste of what Vanisher are all about — razor-tight riffs and an uncanny sense of melody with songs that get stuck inside your brain almost instantly. Pre-order The History of Saints here.

Vanisher will be on tour from September 17-26 with MS faves The Binary Code and fellow NC-rockers Hephystus. Tour dates after the jump!

[this promotion has ended]

Click to read more…

Richard Patrick strikes me as particularly bitter about the state of the music biz these days. Both times I saw the band in concert on their last album cycle (2008′s Anthems for the Damned) — at an intimate record release show at NYC’s Mercury Lounge and at a giant amphitheater opening for STP — he seemed to be having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that his audience was older now and no longer moshed / visibly got into the music / cared as much. I read an interview yesterday in which he was complaining that fans were complaining that albums were too expensive at $10. Dude, $10 is too expensive when you consider that the CD prices of yore were so high because they had to be manufactured and shipped (and yeah record companies were greedy) and that a [paid] digital download presumably cuts some of those costs out of the equation. And that recording technology is waaaay cheaper these days than it used to be. Times have changed, dude. Sure, the industry is way different, but so is the musical climate. Sounds to me like sour grapes… Filter ain’t as big as in their ’90s heyday, so Patrick blames it on the industry.

Click to read more…

I guess I’m confused about what kinds of bands the magazine Classic Rock covers. I would assume that it was mostly, y’know, classic rock. And even though Opeth play a form of rock music and are certainly already pretty classic, when I think “classic rock,” I don’t usually think “Opeth.” Or am I just really that old, and it’s time for “Bleak” to start getting played right in between The Stones and Floyd on the radio?

Whatever. Classic Rock debuted the below clip of Opeth performing “Dirge for November” from their upcoming DVD/CD, In Live Concert at the Royal Albert Hall. And while we already knew that the audio portion of this set was gonna be pretty good, but this is our first taste of the visual. My film geek complaint is that there’s too many long shots, or, at least, too much time spent holding those long shots; I’d rather spend more time on the stage with the band, ’cause I already know what they look like from far away. Still, it’s Opeth, so you can’t really go too wrong, y’know?

In Live Concert at the Royal Albert Hall comes out September 21 on Roadrunner.

-AR

Last week the monkeys brought a press release to the Vince Division that was sent in by a publicist who often send us stuff… nothing out of the ordinary there. We won’t mention the poor chap’s name for the sake of his dignity, but what followed was downright embarrassing and laughable. Publicist claimed that he’d just seen (last night!!!) a “face-melting” set by L.A. band Poweraxe — whose members “look to be about 16 y.o.” – and even though he claimed he wasn’t officially working with the band for PR Company X these kids were just so damn great he had to let us know about them! He even included a mediafire link to download the record. Gee, thanks, dude!

Then the following day we got an email from the band themselves. With the same exact mediafire link.

BUSTED.

Click to read more…

…when I interviewed Gus G. a couple of weeks ago, he told me that the band was working on putting together a North American headlining tour for the fall. Well, the good news is, that tour is now booked; the bad news is, it’s only four dates. I’m completely speculating, but I imagine this has to do more with Gus’ ongoing commitments to Ozzy than it does anything else. Hopefully he’ll get another reality show or something soon and Firewind can tour more.

But if you’re in a position to go one of these gigs, you should. The band hasn’t played here since they toured with Arch Enemy (I think it was Arch Enemy… feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) in 2008, and these sets will obviously be way longer than those ones were, seeing as the band is headlining.

And – BONUS! The Absence and Powerglove will be doing support. I don’t think it’s any secret that we love The Absence — in fact, we’re streaming their new album right here! — and I like that there’s some real diversity on this bill. I think these shows are gonna be a lot of gun.

Here are the four dates, via Firewind’s MySpace page:

Click to read more…

You can’t talk about 90′s hardcore without devoting a substantial part of that conversation to the boys who put the sleepy town of Syracuse, NY on the map: Earth Crisis. For anybody who wasn’t in the hardcore scene back then, it’s hard to describe the impact they had or how controversial they were. You either loved them or hated them for bringing both metal and veganism into the hardcore scene, and I definitely loved them. I’ll save the discussion of their politics and all that for another time, and focus on what’s more important to me these days: their music.

Click to read more…

Of course you do! And so did MS reader Colin Frazier who had the insight to know that we, too, would also love to see a fat man down an obscene amount of cheese-filled pasta in under four minutes whilst listening to metal.

Sure, this is fucking disgusting. Sure, it was probably filmed to some other song and this Fuckshovel joint was dubbed on top of it later. Sure, we have no way of knowing that there are actually 7 cans of ravioli in that bowl. But damn if this isn’t the funniest video I’ve seen in a long, long while. Make sure you watch it all; it just keeps getting better and better. My personal favorite moment: the wink at the camera followed by an inexplicable shot of ketchup into the air.

Watch, and be morbidly fascinated / entertained!

-VN