It bugs the shit out of me when sly show-off dudes all, like, casually mention that they’ve already heard a big album that everybody is waiting for even though its release date is months away and the shit hasn’t been leaked on the interslice or anything. That annoys everybody, yes indeed. It’s like, wow man, how did you pull that off? Fuckin’ phonies. But in other news, I’ve heard the new Atheist record Jupiter like 500 times! Bam!! It’s partly cuz I’m a high-powered Metalucks columnist with a crazy awesome bod (the “I’ve heard it” part); and partly cuz I’m undergoing some post-trauma SAF (Stoned As Fuck) therapy all holed up in my friend’s pad whilst he’s on tour with the Milwaukee Gay Men’s Chorus (the “500 times” part).

So I have free time and when not catching up on premium television, I’m balls deep in Atheist’s first record since 17 eternities ago. I even paused Bored to Death to peep Atheist drummer Steve Flynn break down his drum parts on Jupiter’s second track, “Fictitious Glide” (above). Flynn rips, the track slays, the record jams, but gosh I do not know what my man is wearing. He and ex-Obituary guitarist/DUI machine Allen West dress like they should be putting up volleyball nets or pointing at something with a clipboard. Okay, that was a cheap shot considering that my outfit for today is a towel stapled to a sofa cushion. The important thing is that Atheist rules! Still! AGAIN!!

-ADF

Atheist’s face-bangingly awesome Jupiter comes out November 9 on Season of Mist.