Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh: “A good friend of mine used to say, ‘This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.’ Think about that for a while.”

For Mets fans like Vince Neilstein and yours truly, the preceding Bull Durham gem is probably the most charitable way to assess the last four seasons of Shea/Citi Field underachieving. For Phillies fans like Decibel asshole-in-chief Albert Mudrian and Giants fans like Exhumed splatter-master Matt Harvey, their go-to baseball flick quote du jour has to be the great Roger Dorn of Major League: “I got one thing to say to you, Vaughn: Strike this motherfucker out!”

Yes, the National League Championship Series is set for launch on Saturday, with San Fran squaring off against Philly. While Vince and I would strongly recommend going to a show — any show; like, Ke$ha would suffice — instead of supporting MLB’s dwindling playoff ratings, you might think otherwise now that the dignity of not only an extreme metal magazine publisher but vaunted musician is on the line. It turns out that Harvey is feeling awfully good about the Giants’ chances in the best-of-seven, and challenged Mudrian to an appropriately retarded wager. Anybody who has seen SF closer Brian Wilson lately can attest that Harvey’s challenge is solid fucking gold. Catch up right here for the terms, and join us in brainstorming something even more humiliating.

Or just post “Yanks in 4” or some such fucktardery in the comments. Either way.

-AB

In case you’re curious, Axl Rosenberg doesn’t give two shits about sports. But he wants you to buy yourself a copy of the November 2010 issue of Decibel or, better yet, buy yourself a full subscription. If you don’t, expect lots more coverage of Skunk Anansie in the near future.