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Unnecessary Roughness

UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS: THE RED CHORD’S GREG WEEKS AIN’T NO LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR NO-SLEEVE AMERICAN FLAG T-SHIRT WEARING MORON

Monday, October 18th, 2010 at 5:00pm by

Well, it’s Sunday again: Time for nachos, football and terrible beer and car ads. One ad in particular that caught my attention this week opens with a young red coat running through the forest, who rushes to his pals who are awaiting the oncoming Yanks during the Revolutionary War. They seem confident in their numbers and abilities as the Union Jack sways in the wind, when out of nowhere George Fucking Washington comes blasting at them in the new Dodge Challenger complete with an American flag. WOO-HOO!!! Holy shit, Britain, look out!!! He must have built a god damned time machine and decided to forgo the WMD’s and use scare tactics instead. This ain’t no horse and buggy, you English bastards!!!

The best part is when Dexter, who does the voice-over, announces “Here are a couple of things America got right: cars and freedom.” I actually laughed at this point in the ad. Apparently Dodge thinks that all football fans are lowest common denominator no-sleeve American flag t-shirt wearing morons. I mean, I’m sure some of us are, but come on.

They also had a great Super Bowl ad that had dudes giving excuses why they deserve the new Charger. Most of them had to do with things they do for their wife they don’t want to do but are too afraid to tell her. So, if you’re a Toby Keith fan or a dude who’s a complete bitch, then these cars are for you. I love that ad!!! And not to rip on Dodge, I owned a Ram 50 and currently drive an ’87 Omni. It rules! It’s basically a street legal go-cart.

Aside from the awesome ads, there was also some awesome football. Those who watched either overtime game – BAL at NE or MIA at GB – were in for a treat: Both games were nail biters, and both ended with a 20-23 score.

Looks like Miami did the right thing by firing special teams coach John Bonamego during their bye week. The AFC South leaders beat out the AFC West leaders in the Houston-KC match up. But the game was bitter sweet for linebacker DeMeco Ryans, who tore his Achilles tendon before the half. He will be out for the duration of the season due to the injury.

My father tore his Achilles when I was 11 or 12. He would spend his weekends pulling up a lawn chair, watching me mow the lawn correctly with this rickety mower which had no blade safety blocker thing so my toes were always in danger of being cut off. If Ryans has any sons, I’m sure they don’t have to mow the lawn, let alone under the watchful chair-ridden eye of their father. Lucky jerks.

-GW

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Photo credit: Chris Fulcher

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  • mick

    if at the very least we won one game all year we beat the raiders… go niners!!

    • Smoke it up, Pig

      As a Raiders fan I can easily say that the ’9ers deserved that game. They played better in the end but truthfully both teams need a ton of help. The QB position on both sides is atrocious. Campbell had a 10.7 passer rating yesterday… could anyone win with that as your anchor? It’d be good to get one team here in the bay winning some games.

      • mick

        Oh i totally agree……. not like im bragging… we are 1-5 … raiders are 2-4 right? I would kill for the record

        • Major Zim

          yea man i think its time that we put aside the raiders-9ers beef long enough to actually start havin some good fuckin teams in the bay. i was REALLY hoping singletary would make everything better and hey who knows maybe he will but damn im not happy with him so far. hes still not nolan tho!

          • david

            Yeah, that was an awful game on both sides. I guess Alex Smith deserved it cause he actually tried in the 2nd half.

  • Kid Gruesome

    Houston, yeah!! Although I have a sneaking suspicion that they pretty much burned themselves out on that season opening Colts ass whooping. Every game after that has been real close or they got they’re asses handed to them. I mean, c’mon! Dallas is 1-4! How do you beat Indy so soundly and then get schooled by the Boys?

  • Fred Durst

    Yeah that fins game was awesome! Im trying to figure out which stupid play theyre going to use on Cmon Man.

    Commercials are nothing but PC homoerotic garbage.

  • LOOLOO

    J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS.

    • Joe

      should have lost, but we didn’t!

      • painmonger

        Seriously, though, the Broncos got the benefit of a TON of bad calls. I mean, that personal foul on Leonhard? What the fuck was that?

  • Baron

    Wooooo, Seahawks beat the Bears!

  • WV

    dexter rules

    go bills 0-16 #1 pick in 2011

  • some guy

    The Dodge ad was actually made for the USA vs. England World Cup game last summer and was meant to be taken as a joke (http://www.examiner.com/autos-in-detroit/dodge-teases-new-challenger-2010-fifa-world-cup-ad-campaign). I thought it was hilarious at the time, but they really should have stopped airing it after the World Cup ended.

    • Frampler

      I wish an English ad agency had responded with shots of Guantanamo Bay and an Aston Martin.

      • DaveClinch

        What effect would that have? Besides, so thats where they keep those murders and “thats a sweet car, I bet it gets 5mpg”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Sean-Heron/9391234 Ryan Sean Heron

    the dodge commerical is supposed to be funny. you’re takin yourself too seriously.

    • Major Zim

      yea seriously. the first time i saw that commercial i fell over laughing. its a a superb tongue-in-cheek laugh at over-patriotic idiots that take themselves too seriously. speaking of taking things too seriously…

  • Sin and Death

    Well, I commend you for taking the high road in regards to the Ravens & Patriots. It was a close game, and the experience of Belichick was apparent. The Ravens were out coached, and the OT loss stings.

    Unfortunately, not as many NE fans took the high road, taking it upon themselves to post a bunch of incendiary messages on various B-More message boards and the like.
    ( Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. A bunch of jackasses from Baltimore would have done the same thing had we won…) The funny thing is that a majority of them were acting like the game was a blowout, and didn’t come down to the final minutes of OT.

    In reality, it was a well played, highly strategic, and exciting game that came down to the wire.

  • david

    “Hey you Wood Chucks…quit chuckin’ my wood!!!”

    Maybe I’ve been in a cave for the last year, but that commercial was hella funny. I can’t even remember what the heck they were selling, just the woodchucks…

    • DaveClinch

      Not to mention the Charger is a nasty 4 door, especially the State Police versions here in Georgia.

  • John Fire

    Eagles!

    Just sayin. We pretty much dominated the Falcons.