Readers' Choice

READER’S CHOICE: METAL FROM HOUSTON EDITION

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Wrong Houston

For the past two days I’ve done a “Reader’s Choice” installment based entirely on local scenes — one for the Pilippines and one for Kansas City — and now one of the members of a Houston, TX band has sent us an e-mail plugging both his own band and some other groups from the area that he thinks I should check out… so I guess we’re gonna do a hat trick of these things. I’ve been to Houston International Airport for a layover but never outside its walls, so it’ll be good to a taste of some Houston culture that isn’t the Geto Boys.

Okay, here we go!

METAVENGE

Oh hey there re-thrash made by kids who weren’t born yet when Rust in Peace came out! I’d ask how you’re doing, but I just saw you yesterday. Also, I don’t care. Unless you have terminal cancer? [hopeful] Do you have terminal caner? Oh. [long pause] Oh. [long pause] Okay, well, uhhhhhhh… I hope we don’t run into each other again tomorrow! Go fuck yourself!

LEGION

The dude who e-mailed me all these suggestions is in this band, but I don’t know which dude it is ’cause he didn’t include a name. But based on these first two bands, I’m guessing that he likes re-thrash. So to this not-quite-anonymouse e-mailer: You win, dude! I’m listening to your band! I’m not enjoying it, but I’m listening to it! And I’m writing about it, which is an all-around “win” for you.

I like your band better than Metavenge, I’ll say that. But you need a new singer. Gee… I hope the singer isn’t the dude who e-mailed me. Well, if he is, dude — you need a new you. Maybe not in actual life, ’cause you could be a real cool guy for all I know, but definitely for the purposes of this band, you need a new you. Holy shit, these vocals are terrible. I have to turn this off now, sorry.

CARRY THE STORM

So this is basically re-deathrash, but I actually kinda dig the music. It’s a nice mix of shreddy and catchy. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before, but it’s competent, which is a nice change of pace from Metavenge. But, again, the singer is no good. Sorry. I know how hard it can be to find a good vocalist. I have a friend whose band is experiencing that very problem right now. But this band still needs a new singer. Sorry sorry sorry.

NECROFAITH

I haven’t hit play yet, but my gut tells me that a band called “Necrofaith” cannot be good. Let’s find out.

So, hey, guess what? It’s  a re-thrash band with a terrible singer! So there was a trend to these suggestions beyond “Houston, Texas.” Interesting.

Man, this singer really stinks. He might be the worst one so far. And he’s so high in the mix I can’t even concentrate on the music behind him. It’s like trying to listen to Pantera while someone who thinks he can sing screams at you. So it’s like trying to listen to Damageplan.

I kid, I kid. About Damageplan, I mean. They sounded nothing like Pantera.

What was I talking about again?

Oh, right. So, in conclusion, when it comes to Houston, I think I’m just gonna stick with Six Feet Deep:

Wrong “Six Feet Deep”

-AR

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