THE ONLY XMAS CARD WORTH GIVING OR RECEIVING
Christmas cards — actually, just all holiday cards in general — tend to be pretty stupid. They either feature some generic design, like a Christmas tree or a snowflake or Santa or whatever, or otherwise they’re a picture of the sender and his or her stupid ugly family. What a colossal waste of paper.
Of course, I wouldn’t be too cranky about it if someone sent me a Dio-themed Christmas card. And now they make such a thing, so you should buy ’em instead of wasting time on the aforementioned picture of your family, who I don’t give two shits about.
These cards not only feature the above photo of the legendary Mr. Dio, but they also play Dio’s version of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” when you open ’em. Now that’s a Christmas miracle I can get behind.
And maybe I should be bitching about exploiting the memory of a dead man for the sake of making product, but if people are gonna send Christmas cards one way or the other — and they are — I’d rather they be centered around one of the coolest metal singers of all time than a mascot designed by the Coca-Cola corporation. Yeah, I went there.
Check out more photos of the card below. You can order them here. At ten bucks a pop, they’re kinda pricey for Christmas cards, but still really cheap for awesomeness.