Coaches fired, teams failing, and incentives earned. I love week sixteen.

Incentives: they are written into a ton of contracts nowadays to get players to focus more on earning money for themselves than to put in an effort for their team. In the last week of regular season play, we see players on teams who are dead in the water give it their all to earn a couple of extra bucks. I mean, when you’re getting $90 million, you really need that extra $150,000 for one more sack in a game that doesn’t matter, right?  The Red Chord actually has an incentive program in our contract as well. We get free Metal Blade t-shirts, a trip to a rehab of our choice, and a visit to the health clinic, depending on how many rails and groupies we bump during an album cycle. We’re cutting it close, but I can see that t-shirt in my very near future.

So, is anyone whose team had a better record than Seattle upset? Green Bay was fighting for a wild card spot and earned it against the already playoff-bound Chicago Bears. The Packers earned the sixth seed spot and are next week braving the storm that is known as the Eagles. The other wild card game in the NFC should be a little less exciting, when the 7-9 Seahawks attempt to dismantle last year’s champs, the New Orleans Saints.

Speaking of the Saints, I had the great honor of being at Mardi Gras this year, and I thank the locals for not stabbing or robbing me. It was a welcoming atmosphere as I “earned” my beads and got stuffed on King Cake. There were plenty of Saints fans out that night, and I felt a kindred spirit with them in their finest hour.

Unfortunately, that spirit is dead and I hope you choke, Drew Brees! Until my team is knocked out of the playoffs, I hope you crash and burn!

Over on the other side, Jets and Indy are off to the races. Manning is looking to stop throwing the ball to the other team and get his season and team back on track. Does he have what it takes to defeat a team that is coached by a foot fetish aficionado with a big mouth and even bigger stomach? Only time will tell.

Speaking of Ryan’s mouth, he has claimed that next week’s game is “personal” between him and Manning. Peyton has won five of the last six meetings with Ryan, and the coach seems upset by this.

The Ravens, who still scare me in the playoffs, will face off against Kansas City, who got absolutely rocked by Oakland this week. Ouch! The Raiders are not heading to the playoffs, but did pick up a new record. They are the only team since the merger in the 70′s to be undefeated in their division and fail to go to the post season. I’m sure they would’ve rather gone to the playoffs though.

So, even if your team didn’t make it to the post season, I’m sure you’ll still be watching and rooting against your rivals. You’ll probably see some awesome injuries and dudes crying during press conferences, though, and that always rules.

Goodbye, possibly, to B. Favre. The man who has demolished records, played the day after his father passed away, and is arguably one of the greatest QB’s in the history of the NFL. I’m sure he’ll be remembered for that, and not for sending dick pix to a hot chick.

-GW

Help Greg earn that Metal Blade shirt by visiting The Red Chord on MySpace.