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Contests

THE AMON AMARTH VIKING BEARD CONTEST: GROW A GNARLY BEARD, WIN AN AMON AMARTH PRIZE PACK!

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011 at 5:00pm by

Johan Hegg Amon Amarth

[UPDATE, Jan 5: New entry instructions for females! Read here.]

We are thrilled to present one of the most fun contests in our short history. Grow a beard, win a bunch of Amon Amarth shit. Interested? Read on.

Reader Jordan Wean actually suggested this idea to us back in November, and we loved it so much we knew we just had to do it. The only question was, “With whom?” And since the beard of Amon Amarth’s Johan Hegg has few rivals, when Amon Amarth announced they’d be releasing their new album Surtur Rising on March 29th, 2011 we knew we’d found the perfect band, so we approached them about the idea and voila, contest!

Females, fret not: this contest is open to you, too! Read on.

The rules:

Step 1) Send us a completely clean-shaven picture of yourself NOW — before Tuesday, January 11th at 11:59pm EST — holding up a sign that says “MetalSucks” and the date. Send all entries to news [at] metalsucks [dot] net with the subject AMON AMARTH VIKING BEARD CONTEST.

Step 2) Grow a beard.

Step 3) On March 29th, the day Surtur Rising comes out, send us a new picture of yourself… same deal: hold up a sign with “MetalSucks” and the date, only this time you’ll also need to write a secret passcode on your sign that will be revealed on MetalSucks on March 29th.

FEMALE RULES: The same as above, but a little more X-rated! Yes, we’re completely serious, and no, we don’t mean your armpits. You can black out / blur out certain parts if you’re so inclined… or not. You must be 18 year of age or older to enter. but for your armpits or leg hair! We’ll be choosing one male winner and one female winner, both with an identical prize pack, so the playing field is equal for everyone.

The prize:

- a lock from Johan Hegg’s beard!
- the “super duper fan edition” of Surtur Rising, of which only a very small limited number will be made.
- a drumhead signed by the whole band
- a Metal Blade Records t-shirt and lanyard
- a MetalSucks t-shirt in the design and size of your choosing

Once we’ve received all the entries during the week of March 29th (Deadline for picture #2: Monday, April 4th, 11:59pm EST), Johan himself will go through all the entries and select a winner. There are no set parameters by which you need to grow your beard — viking style, Abe Lincoln, Rollie Fingers stache, Fu Manchu, or just plain ol’ au naturale… it’s all good by us! Bigger isn’t necessarily better… it’s the motion of the ocean!

Now, get to growing those beards. You’ve got 3 months!

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eduardo-Urbano/100000533880132 Eduardo Urbano

    This is sexist at all.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eduardo-Urbano/100000533880132 Eduardo Urbano

      isn’t*

      • Ben

        Bummer! I cannot grow a beard larger than a fat hamster. Oh well!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Burton/784250631 Dan Burton

    How is this a good idea ?

    Seriously…

    Dear women, you can win some metal cds by sending us a picture of your vagina.

    • Bayon

      Can guys send a picture of their dick? lawl

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alexandre-Perrault/545955672 Alexandre Perrault

      How is it not a good idea?

      • canea

        Seems solid to me.

    • http://thatdevilmusic.blogspot.com Rob Liz

      Don’t be jealous because you won’t be able to see the vag.

    • AetherJake

      This isn’t a good idea. This is a great idea.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Shereck/825474139 Sam Shereck

    Man, I wish I hit puberty.

  • Vakarm

    Haha this is pretty hilarious. Too bad i can’t grow a full beard…..only thing i can get by that date is a goatee

    • Carmel Astronaut

      yeah ditto — can dudes do the bikini zone thing too?

      • Strapping Young Lad

        Let guys do the bikini zone thingy too! I JUST so happened to shave my balls today, plus I can’t grow a beard without looking all rapey/used car salesmanish!!!

  • Brock Sterns

    I guess it would kinda suck for those who don’t win

  • canea

    Ug, I’m going to be a week behind. I have to go to my grandma’s funeral next week and no one would be too happy if I didn’t shave for a week.

  • Leyla Ford

    Hey, I don’t think it’s sexist. Hilarious though, yes indeed.

  • Anthony

    Just writing the date isn’t sufficient enough. Make them hold up a newspaper from that day, like a ransom photo.

    • Anthony

      Also, why couldn’t you start this contest on Jan. 1st, when I clean shaved for my friend’s 2011 no-shave challenge (I don’t expect to make it that long, but I want to see how long I actually can make it). I’m already 3 days in, can’t shave now.

    • http://www.metalsucks.net Vince Neilstein

      It’s sufficient enough for the clean-shaven photo because that photo is due one week from now. And for the beard photo, the passcode needs to be written on the sign. I think we’re covered!

      -VN

  • Perpetual Black Screen Name

    I’m entering. hahaha Be sending a pic after I shave.

  • jim jones

    Damn you METALSUCKS, you need to alter your rules. How many dudes are gonna go to clean shave mode right now when we’re already workin on or re-workin some shit? Just alter the rules two options or two categories like so:

    Step 1, Option 1) Send us a completely clean-shaven picture of yourself NOW — before Tuesday, January 11th at 11:59pm EST — holding up a sign that says “MetalSucks” and the date.

    Step 1, Option 2:Send us picture of yourself with your current beard NOW, before Tuesday, January 11th at 11:59pm EST — holding up a current newspaper.

    • seagoat

      ditto

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cody-Cosgrove/1071491065 Cody Cosgrove

      Please do this, its took a while to get what I got and I really dont want to shave it.

    • SP420

      Shut the fuck up, no one’s forcing you to enter the contest so shut your pussying. It’s to give everyone a fair start.

  • Jonathan

    Dude, if there are reports on the news in a couple months about an “uncontrollable beard fascination/pandemic,” I know who to blame.

    Still. I think I’ll participate.

  • Kuranes

    Some women can grow pretty gnarly facial beards as well.

  • Benito

    jungle fever FTW

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-John-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason John Crispen

    20 dollars says it’s not a lock of his beard but rather a bag of pubes gathered up from around the mansion.

    • Shitz Nolte

      Scott Tenorman style.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kyle-Gray/100001718861135 Kyle Gray

        I made you eat your parents……

        • Goro923

          …in Chili form!!

          • Random

            You shouldn’t joke about this shit. Ginger people are fucking scary.

  • Jack

    Horny bastards.

  • Girth Brooks

    Worse people have seen my penis. I’ll shave the ol’ bush for some shit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shannon-Wright/584315430 Shannon Wright

    pics or it didn’t happen

  • B-dizzle

    Metalsucks is going for the noodz!

  • Metal Berserker

    dam i would never win….but Amon Amarth is my fav band
    in fact im obsessed with them….sigh haha
    i want part of Johans beard!

  • Captain Wookie

    I don’t want to shave so I echo the statement others have made, but I’m probably just going to shave tomorrow because the prospect if this contest is worth it. Gives me a reason to regrow mine and mess with peoples heads at work

  • http://www.schenkeltown.com SchenkelTown

    grow a big beard, and don’t get laid…. but win some cd’s!

    • Moltanic

      You’re actually trying to say that ladies don’t love beards? o_O

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mariel-Tormentia/100000019680144 Mariel Tormentia

        This lady adores beards… it is almost a fetish.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Terri-Mostproudmomever-Kinckner/1144647778 Terri Mostproudmomever Kinckner

        This lady loves beards, the gnarlier the better!

  • Shinaain

    Y’all know you’re my favorites, but you’re all officially on my shit list as of right now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Sterner/1335958279 Andrew Sterner

    Just shaved off 2 weeks of work…..Love me some Amon Amarth!

  • Perpetual Black Screen Name

    Fuck that! I shaved off EVERYTHING! lol The rules are clear.

  • Megan

    Unbelievable. It’s like the Women’s Rights Movement never happened.

    • Matias

      The what movement?

      • Howie

        I’m hungry. Megan, make and then mail me a sandwich.

    • Darnel0tron

      I really don’t see anything sexist about this, quit being so damn sensitive. If it was the other way round, no one would be whining about it.

  • Matias

    Man, I wish black people had facial hair.

    • Bicro

      Hahaha you’ve obviously never seen Freeway.

      • Nathan

        Or Jimmy McMillan.

  • ACoffinShip

    Hahaha, this contest is fucking awesome. I’m rocking a beard…almost exactly like the one pictured, actually. Unfortunately my hair doesn’t grow fast enough for me to shave it off and have it grow back full-length in time.

  • BruisedMetal

    Id do it! If I liked amon amarth

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alejandro-Aldana/683878171 Alejandro Aldana

    this fucking sucks. i already have a chin strap and i’d have to shave it just to enter. i bet the guy that whined to get the vinyl will win this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alicia-Jarrell/688230982 Alicia Jarrell

    Entirely sexist…

  • Sagoreth

    I am incredibly disappointed at Metalsucks. While I realize that participation (in the contest) is optional, it is nevertheless unfair to females. This contest is skewed towards males. That men only have to show their faces but women have to bare the most intimate part of their body is a violation of decency. Shame on you Metalsucks for not coming up with a better contest idea, you know, one that doesn’t degrade females. And,no, I would not condone a contest idea that was fundamentally unfair to males either. For writers that seem to espouse liberal concepts in fairness and dignity for all humans, this is especially low.

    • AetherJake

      Dude, get off your high horse. If chicks don’t want to show their vagina’s, they don’t have to. They can show their armpits. Or their beards.

    • jacob

      I understand, but can you suggest a similarly-spirited contest that works both ways? If they had a contest for the most bloody period (only thing I could think of right now that works for girls but not guys), but if guys took pictures of their crazy bush that was accepted instead, how the fuck does it matter? Would you rather that women had ZERO way of entering the contest?

      And AetherJake, it’s pretty clear that pits isn’t an option for the females, although I imagine they would accept beards.

      • http://multimedia-ami.deviantart.com amelia

        Well, instead of pubic hair it could be head hair for the girls, though I couldn’t imagine participation would be all that high. But I agree with Sagoreth, there must be some other way. Hey, how about girls can get a fake beard and try to style it in some interesting way and put it on for the picture (’cause remember, it’s not about size of beard). Whoever rocks their beard the best, guy or girl, can be equally judged. I mean, I know this isn’t about fairness (hint: it’s about seeing pussy) but come on, don’t be pricks you guys.

    • paffa ferguson

      WELL ITS ONLY UNFAIR TO THE WOMEN BECAUSE THOSE OF US WHO HAVE BEARDS TO PUT THE WINNER TO SHAME CAN’T GROW IT FROM A BARE FACE IN THAT SHORT A TIME. MINE IS THREE YEARS OLD AND OVER 11 INCHES AT THE CHIN. BUT I AM NOT SHAVING IT TO WIN A CONTEST. THOSE OF US WITH HEALTHY GERMAN DESCENT CAN GROW EM. COME TO WISCONSIN AND PICK OUT A WINNER. LOTS OF LADIES WITH VARIENG LENGTHS OF BEARDS UP THERE.

  • Howie

    This contest is unfair to me! I’m only 18 years old and my family history tends towards late development of facial hair! I can’t believe you guys would make a contest that is so clearly biased against guys who aren’t capable of growing real beards! This is so ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourselves. And to think you claim to be liberal dudes who support equality. You make me sick.

    • the lotus eater

      Dude, go change your tampon, and be patient, maybe some day you will become a real man and actually have to shave with a real blade and not with your daddy’s razor with the cover still on it!

      • Howie

        I was being sarcastic. I know it doesn’t translate well to text, but I thought it was pretty obvious.

  • Ian

    Alright…rant machine warming up.

    Yes, this contest is super duper sexist. Not a good idea to suggest that women grow their bushes out, then show them to dudes they’ve never met. And dudes that can’t grow beards are shit outta luck. Also, some guys can’t grow beards because of work, so they can’t enter either. Clearly, its a skewed contest, but its a FUCKING beard growing contest. The fuck does everyone expect? There have been contests before that have been skewed. Like all the “show us your metalsucks”. Not everyone wants to buy metalsucks merch, just to win more fucking merch…and no one gave two shits about that in the comments. Moreover, some contests haven’t been open to Canadians. The winner of this contest is just gonna be some gross dude with a huge beard. I doubt any woman would win, even if she had a 3 foot bush (well, maybe).

    And people are upset because its like metalsucks is giving away some REAL awesome shit, when its not really that big a deal. I love me some serious Amon Amarth, but let’s analyze the prizes:

    a lock of Johan’s beard
    -why the fuck would I want that? To hold while jerking off to Amon Amarth? Seriously, its some dude’s facial hair. I’m sure it feels the same as everyone else’s beards.

    Super duper fan edition of the new album
    -I’m just gonna get the regular one from itunes. How much cooler can the fan edition be? A cool case for cds that you’lll just upload onto your computer? Maybe a vinyl? Its the same music for fuck’s sake.

    drum head signed by the band
    -Meh… its a drumhead. Although it would be cool to have it hanging on the wall in your place 10 years from now so when your friends ask what it is, you can say “oh, yeah. Its a drum head signed by a good band that I’ve never met, nor have had any contact with. I won in in an internet contest to see who could grow the biggest beard.” Hopefully the sarcasm can be seen. Don’t want any misinterpretation, because its quite common here.

    Metalblade t-shirt, lanyard and Metalsucks t-shirt
    -Meh…I have like 12 band shirt to wear anyways.

    So the point is this: People should calm the fuck down. It’s pretty fucking hard to make a beard growing contest equal for females and guys that can’t grow facial hair. Metalsucks is a GREAT website. So what if they fuck it up once in a while? The prizes aren’t worth getting all worked up over.

    And to Metalsucks, keep up the good work and posting about new bands that don’t suck (posting shitty bands getting kinda old). But maybe in the future have a contest where the ladies have take a picture in a metalsucks t-shirt while giving birth (has to be when the baby is crowning and have a newspaper with the date) or something like that to even up the score with the women.

    • builtforsin

      Your post sucks. Use some common sense. This is a metal site. Demographic 16-30 MALES. You think Opera is giving out gender neutral stuff?

      Get real.

      • AetherJake

        I’m pretty sure you didn’t read his post.

    • the lotus eater

      This dude is right on!
      +1

    • Moltanic

      Baaawww Moar

  • snarly

    MIght I suggest that just to make it a little more fair that for the females that you cancel out stages 2 and 3 for them only and have a poll where the Metalsucks community judges from all the submitted images once they are posted. Seems only fair.

  • Chainsword

    All my nightmares are about losing my current beard, I’m a little attached. Maybe I can convince metal GF to do it for Odin.

  • Just a warning

    You guys do realize that besides the super sexist nature of the competition and the fact that once again a stereotype about metalheads as sexist males that you are seriously risking a major sentence for child pornography?

    How are you going to guarantee that only 18 year olds submit a pic of their vagina? If only one minor does this you are risking a jail sentence. Moreover, some states in the U.S. have VERY tricky laws when it comes to obscenity.

    I do get the feeling that someone at Metalsucks had the right idea that somehow women need to get a chance but there should be a better alternative. ESPECIALLY since men of all ages can submit whereas women have to be 18.

    Here is an alternative: think of what vikings (both men and women) wear or look like. Why not have people submit a pic of themselves right now and then have them turn themselves into a viking (and people can then choose which factors to go for). If you want to make it interesting they have to submit proof they went in public looking like a viking.

    (I cannot believe I focused on the legal ramifications moreso than the sexist nature of this competition. Yes, women can opt out, but come on do you NOT see how this is extremely insensitive?)

    • Nathan

      dude it’s obviously a joke, let it go

  • http://www.metalsucks.net Vince Neilstein

    @ EVERYONE concerned about the allegedly sexist nature of this contest:

    The original contest idea as pitched to the band included males only. The pubic hair idea was suggested by TWO FEMALES in the Amon Amarth camp in order to make it more fair so women would be able to enter. It is not some staged event to get young girls to send Axl and myself pussy pics. We can see pussy in our own daily lives, thankyouverymuch, or in a desperate situation it’s not like the Internet doesn’t have a wealth of porn available.

    Regardless, we are sensitive to what you all are saying and are probably going to tweak the rules a bit so females don’t have to show their privates to enter.

    • AetherJake

      Don’t even worry about that shit dude. My beard is going to be average, I know I’m not going to win. The only reason anyone cares more about this than any other contest is because the prizes are pretty good.

    • Tudor

      So maybe you would be willing to hold a contest for those who can think of the best racial slur for black people had the contest been suggested by a black person? Your justification makes no sense.

      Not that I care, this contest is fucking stupid. Who wants some grosse metal heads grimey beard?

      • AetherJake

        I’m pretty sure that the lock of beard isn’t really the sought after prize here.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Terri-Mostproudmomever-Kinckner/1144647778 Terri Mostproudmomever Kinckner

        I think you care or you wouldn’t have responded. Now that I’ve said my peace, I’m off to go fuck my man with the “grosse metal heads grimey beard”.

  • Craigford McNasty

    pandering.

  • Tyler

    Damn, I really wanna do this but I don’t want to shave my current beard!

  • pigchop

    What a bunch of fucking whiners.

  • wv

    love me some boosh.

    so is there gonna be a male and a female winner?

  • Charlie

    Giving away free stuff doesn’t have to be “fair”. This is a beard-growing contest. They have these all over the country (in metal relevancy, Tim from PTH has competed) and it’s pretty well-accepted that women don’t compete. I can’t stress enough that the prizes at hand are being given away FOR FREE.

    Women will complain about equal rights when it comes to getting free shit, of course. But I didn’t see any complaining about not getting drafted, either. SO FUCK YOU, this one’s for the Vietnam vets.

    • Tudor

      You sir, are a fucking moron.

  • Frampler

    Let’s see, I have a nice warm beard, preventing my fucking face from freezing off, and you want me to shave this off, in January? And the prize doesn’t even involve Slayer!

    Kudos for the devious way to get sent a lot of muff shots. I hope for your sake you don’t get a lot of fatties sending your pictures of their hairy beef curtains!

  • http://www.myspace.com/barbelzoa Lordassenfroth

    i like hairy crotches. good idea guys!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Kelley/714882528 John Kelley

    Good move changing the rules for the womenfolk. The previous rules were in such bad taste that it offended both Beavis and Butt-head.

  • dementia612

    I’d love to participate, but I don’t want to shave my beard off.

    • The Chocolate Rain Dance

      Perhaps we can set it on fire, instead?

  • John

    what if i already have a beard. and i dont want to shave it because shaveing a beard u already have is stupid

  • Jordan Wean

    I think the photo caption contest is biased against people who aren’t funny. You guys need to make it easier for unfunny people to win.

  • Nayuki Minase

    Does a neck beard count?

  • FlatLandRocker

    Fun contest, but I’m absolutely so not going to shave off my awesome beard to partake in this. Took long enough to grow it :-p

    Good luck to all those who thus far may have cursed their Neanderthal genes!

    :-D

  • Nifelheim Warblood

    You guys should make a girl growling contest :D singing one of Amon Amarth songs or something, it would be truly AWESOME! cheers :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Schmenk/1599523729 Michael Schmenk

    Shaving my beard off tonight. Even if I don’t win…it will be fun to see how far it grows in 3 months.

    Don’t see why everyone is raging so hard about this contest…its obviously meant to be fun….too bad people can’t just relax and enjoy life a little.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ross-Brownfield/747657803 Ross Brownfield

    I was thinking my new year’s resolution would be to grow a new beard for a new year. Then I though naw screw that, I like my beard. Then I saw this. Now it’s gone.

  • alan

    dammit!! that would mean shaving my current beard and growing a new one…man oh man!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Liz-Ashby/100001907215781 Liz Ashby

    females should be able to send one of the three; pube/leg/or armpit hair pics because at lease we can hide hairy crotches but not legs or armpits haha
    I wanna win this soooo fucking bad!

  • Daniel

    Ahhh… This sucks because I already have a beard like Johan’s but I do not want to shave it all off to start over…

  • Baron VonVahstorik

    Love the Bloodbath shirt.

  • Drummer420

    I would enter but theres no going back at this point ive been growing my beard for the past 5 months. I will have a sick ass zz top beard by the end of the year.

  • Poutsas

    This is a really stupid idea(how old are you people really),apart that’s discusting for the female population that will take place on that.I suppose they are all diirty as fuck if they do it..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steven-Reyes/100000306803758 Steven Reyes

    man im really excited for this im really hoping i win, i think i have a fairly good chance my beard has come in nice

  • andy

    Where’s the secret passcode?!!

  • Amanda

    Secret passcode please?