No longer is exposing oneself for all the Internet to see the sole domain of ex-Winds of Plague keyboardists, nor is it any longer confined to members of the female sex; while I was off galavanting in Amsterdam and Paris over the holidays and Axl was galavanting with Sacha the Death Metal Puppy in Blizzageddon NYC 2k10, we apparently missed the biggest (pun intended) penis-exposing scandal in metal since Peter Steele showed his steel peter in Playgirl all those years back (and I guess Phil Varone last year, but I haven’t seen those pics yet… and let’s face it, who cares?). So, yes, we know this is kind of old news, but how can we resist?

The photos of Dusty Boles’ blue-veined milk machine were posted by a jealous ex-girlfriend on IsAnyoneUp.com — a site which apparently specializes in penis pics from jealous ex-girlfriends (dudes, better watch out what you do with the “private” sexy-time pics!) — and were first picked up by The Gauntlet. Boles asked The Gauntlet to remove the photos (they declined), but later came to terms with his yogurt-slinger’s newfound fame and issued a statement on the matter:

Here is the deal with the pics… Say what you will, and I am sure you will, but at one point a while back I was considering posing for Playgirl Magazine. I have been told that my flaccid penis is larger than most erect penises so I figured it would be a kick to try and get into the magazine. My girlfriend at the time was all about this, but after things went south with our relationship she took some of the pics and posted them online. I only recently found out about these shots being posted for the world to see. At first I was upset but the more I thought about it I realized not only was there was nothing I could do about it, but I did have the intentions of posing for a mag so my dick would have been out there for the world to see anyway so why let it get to me. In terms of matters not having anything to do with my penis, we are currently hard at work on the new Rose Funeral record that will be out in 2011. Since my penis seems to be such a big hit we might just use it for the cover of the new album. I guess you’ll all just have to wait and see.

I gotta hand it to Dusty… that’s quite a wang you’ve got there, sir! Certainly Playgirl worthy. But dude… you shave? Come on, that’s cheating.

And now for the very-NSFW pics:

As previously reported, look for a new Rose Funoral album in 2011. Unfortunately, penis pics in the liner notes might actually increase our chances of liking the record.

-VN