Whenever possible, I deflect from any discussion of the huge number of Steel Panther gigs I’ve attended. But today I bring this disturbing, sexual panic-inducing point to the fore because it’s important that, until December, none of those shows took place outside of West Hollywood. At the Sunset Strip weekly, the set is blockbuster covers, a few Steel Panther originals, marathons of ribald stage banter, and band-on-fan ridicule. Awesome, right? Well, I attended my first non-L.A. show in December, and totally had my mind freaked! The whole experience was backwards.

First of all, it was cold as all holy fuck in Chicago, a city whose name I’m told translates to “Satan’s diaper.” I instructed myself to temporarily forget the mood-friendly climes of southern California, and just join other ticket-holders in the bitter, stinging blizzard for an hour out on the sidewalk. (A vigorous security pat-down almost shattered my frozen upper torso.) Oh, and yeah, the venue is a rancid sportsbar located at ground zero for history’s retardedest sports fans, directly opposite Wrigley Field. Wow.

Anyway, suffice it to say that every instant of the night was upside-down from the $9 light beer cans to a post-show crush at the coat check. So it’s crazy that it was the best, ass-kickingest Steel Panther show of my life! It’s all because the set was not good-time party covers for slutty chicks from Riverside and tipsy celebrities — it was all Feel The Steel jamz, with just an encore of “Kickstart My Heart” and “Jump.” In other words, it was a night for Steel Panther fans! And best of all, they debuted a new jam, “Critter” (which I now learn has been in the out-of-town set since September). And to answer your first questions: Yes, it’s about ass-banging and it will join songs “Tigerwoods,” “Summertime,” “Fuck I Like Drugs,” “Supersonic Sex Machine,” and “17 Girls In A Row” on their next record. Steel Panther 4 Life!

–ADF