EX-ATTACK ATTACK GUITARIST NEEDS UR DONATIONS!!!!!

Monday, January 17th, 2011 at 4:00pm by

Kinda looks like his shirt says “SHEART” lol like SHART

So today I got a Twitter message from Johnny Franck, who was the guitarist in Attack Attack!, but he quit bc he was partying too much and felt like he was not being a good Christian. But he is starting a new band called The March Ahead. I guess bc they are a new band they don’t have a lot of money and they are trying to collect $4500 in donations to record their demo with Joey Sturgis and I wanted to ask u guys if you can help!!  He has a page set up where u can donate and here is what it says on there:

I started The March Ahead because I love to make and play music. With this music project I will be playing shows occasionally but I will not be going out on 6 week long tours like i was doing with Attack Attack!

We need this money to help fund the costs of recording songs with Joey Sturgis so that we can get this project off the ground and bring these songs to all of you! Thanks in advance for all of your support!!

So yeah they need your help!!! He is a really nice kid from Columbus who just wants to be in a band, play Starcraft, and not have to worry about paying for all of this stuff!

Here is the video where he quit the band via Youtube– it’s cool that there were no hard feelings, I thought the montage of his memories w the John Meyer song in the background was so sweet! <3 They are still besties even if they are not in a band together anymore!!!!

They have a bunch of prizes that u get for donating money so check them out and give what you can!!. OMG this one would be so amazing but so crazy too bc I don’t know what I would say to him I would probably just be like “AAAAAAAAAAAAH I love ur music so much thank you so much for helping me get through so much stuff!!!!!!!!!” and hug my screen lol

I haven’t listened to this kind of music for that long so IDK maybe it happens a lot, but I have never heard of anybody doing this before! I guess like back in the day bands who were just starting out had to do a lot of stuff to earn money before they could record a demo, get promo photos, and buy guitars or whatever. Like they couldn’t just record their songs right away, they had to play at crappy little places where nobody goes, make shirts and other stuff to sell, then save up the money– it must have sucked lol!!! It sounds like soooo much work, I think all bands should just have ppl give them money to record so they don’t have to do all of that stuff!

So yeah um here is Johnny’s page where u can donate, if anybody wants to help me pay for a video chat prize I will love you forever lol!

-Sergeant D.

  • treghet

    Just donated $100!! I know there was no better way to use my money. plz guys help him out! We need more amazing music like Attack Attack!

    • Vinsanity

      lol i donated $200! i have even less to do with my money in these luxurious times

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shane-Falco-Quinlan/57003613 Shane Falco Quinlan

        You dipshits. You just ruined everything.

    • alan strang

      fvcking moron.  the last thing we need is another horrible metal band with programmed drums and autotuned vocals.  sturgis ain’t shit without his computer. and if the band are christians, why is a certain band member posting pix of his penis on ‘is anyone up?’ hypocrisy at its finest!!!

  • Spanky

    Best Sergeant D post ever, this was hilarious

  • Vakarm

    SRSLY guyz!!!! plz halp?

  • Mongorian

    I twud otally giv jonny all i cud spare but my parents cut off my allowance cos i went out 2 c brokencyde when i shud hav been studying :(

    • Vakarm

      aaaaah dat sux!!!!!!!!!! :( Brokencyde 4 EVA lol!!!! :D

    • The I

      god i hate that! just bc they didnt have rock when they were young doesnt mean the have to hate on u for being who u are lol

      • jondabudz

        Yeah cause your parents are fucking 85 apparently.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shannon-Wright/584315430 Shannon Wright

    obviously did not win the viking beard contest

  • Matt

    I only have twenty bucks until I get my allowence next week but a album by such an awesome fuckin guitarist deserves it!! Its going to be hard not to get my daily bubble tea but FUCK THIS IS GONNA BE SO HEAVY GUYS PLZ DONATE!!!!!

    • Tomasz

      Hahahahahahaha this one got me

  • http://giantofthemountain.bandcamp.com Lordassenfroth

    This was pretty funny, but it kind of struck a nerve. i guess i just don’t understand how people can have the audacity to ask for handouts like this. My band and I work our asses off to spend money we don’t have on our merch that doesn’t sell, demo’s we willingly give out free to anyone who would bother to listen and equipment we cant afford just so we can keep playing at places nobody goes to. I guess its just more important that these guys get to keep doing what they like to do in a convenient and easy way.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Gavin/1396340262 Mark Gavin

      You could always just ask for donations. It’s not exactly unheard of.

      • http://giantofthemountain.bandcamp.com Lordassenfroth

        i can barely convince my friends to come to a free show thats 15 min away from their house, who the fuck is going to donate? lol, what a silly thing to suggest.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Yevgeniy-Reznichenko/1053344492 Yevgeniy Reznichenko

          I totally see where your coming from, fuckin asshole has it too good. He joined a band that made bank and quit for whatever reason, and now needs to record a demo, boohhoooo :(

        • Darren

          if it helps at all your complaints got me to download the tunes off your bandcamp. maybe try complaining more (and louder?) and more people will as well.

          • http://giantofthemountain.bandcamp.com Lordassenfroth

            oh shit, awesome dude! i hope you enjoy! anyone else interested in free music can download our EP at giantofthemountain.bandcamp.com also. We are taking donations in the form of headbangs and neck-snaps.

          • http://thatdevilmusic.blogspot.com Rob Liz

            Oh that was you Lord Assenroth sending me e-mails on your band? Ok fine, I’ll listen to it and do a writeup:)

        • http://youtube.com/yamiryan4509 Ryan Strain

          Damn dude, your music must blow if your own friends won’t even come out and see you. Try writing better material!

        • http://www.myspace.com/thestarsthrewdowntheirspears Tim

          Not bad. I don’t get why you had to state the Lovecraft reference differently, but to each his own.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Gavin/1396340262 Mark Gavin

          Then find better friends or play better music. I’m not saying it’s bad, I haven’t listened to it, but I gladly donate to small bands (that I like) that I know are struggling to take off. It’s not silly at all to suggest donations when you make nothing off of merch/ticket sales, but you come off as a whiny bitch here more than anything.

        • Aaron

          Maybe your band is really horrible?

        • Disqus

          Maybe because your music blows and you don’t have real friends. Cry more about your awesome life.

    • http://twitter.com/stuffuyouwillhate Sergeant D

      LOL-HE-MAD.JPG

      • Isaac

        They see me trollin… they hatin…

        • http://twitter.com/stuffuyouwillhate Sergeant D

          srs replies only please

          • bill

            did you read your article…

    • Brock

      I’ve got about 3400-3600 dollars in my setup. I work as an assistant manager at a gas station. I make about 9-10 bucks an hour. Needless to say, the majority of my scratch goes to paying off my Guitar Center credit card. The funniest thing is my band couldn’t find a solid drummer so it just became a really expensive hobby. (Don’t get me wrong, I love to play more than anything, though.) Point being, I totally agree with you. Also, I’ve never heard your band and I would donate to your band before I would ever give money to this douche.

    • evilfatguy

      “My band and I work our asses off to spend money we don’t have on our merch that doesn’t sell, demo’s we willingly give out free to anyone who would bother to listen and equipment we cant afford just so we can keep playing at places nobody goes to.”

      Join or start a band that doesn’t suck. Problem solved.

    • Bayon

      I like your music Lordassenfroth.

      • James M.

        Same. I checked out your bandpage and I like it a lot.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-McHone/100000227957888 Matthew McHone

      I just checked out your music and I’m actually really impressed and then I happened to glance down and notice that your located in Dallas, which is great as I am to, so if you can leave a link to your website/blog/etc. you can count on at least one more person at your next show.

      • http://giantofthemountain.bandcamp.com Lordassenfroth

        awesome man, you can look us up at http://www.reverbnation.com/giantofthemountain. we have alot of shows coming up so come out and we’ll fucking party!

        • Dubs

          You know, I was going to make a smartass comment about playing better music or something, but I won’t since I listened to your band page. I’d go see ya’ll but the closest I’ll be is at Ft. Sill and that’s in about a year.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-McHone/100000227957888 Matthew McHone

          I’ll be going to the Feb. 6th show for sure, I’ll bring as many people as I can

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eric-Alejandro-Trevino/681356084 Eric Alejandro Trevino

      Hey i live in Denton, i see you guys playin the 22nd and really diggin the music man, keep up the good work and i may donate a couple of bucks, but probably wont cause i have to buy some weed too, but dont tell my mom or she definitely wont buy me The March Ahead’s upcoming album.

  • Matt

    Whys it cost so much for L6 pod tone and Digi Drums

    • Natsquatch

      Pffft, this comment is just as funny as the article.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Lyons/1593360020 Chris Lyons

      they must want Pro Tools to go along with it

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Neil-Forrest-Nalley/1396964302 Neil Forrest Nalley

    Why dont you guys earn it like everyone else. Play local gigs, sell tickets, sell merch, do what you gotta do. Asking for a handout is bullshit. Wait i got it. Your band can suck dicks for money. You’ll earn it in no time. I got a dick and 2 bucks. Hit me up.

    • Mongorian

      They are quite pretty it has to be said.

  • Kuranes

    I guess the reason he does this is because it works… He’s at over $3000 already.

    Six-week tours are too long for him? Waah.

    BTW, if you’re like me and can’t get enough Sergeant D, his tumblr is pretty funny:

    http://sergeantd.tumblr.com/

  • foobear

    Here’s a description of one of the prizes:

    > Pledge $20 or more
    > The March Ahead B side demos (very rare) plus the $15 and $3 packages.

    *deep inhale*

    HOW FUCKING CONCEITED IS IT THAT A BAND THAT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE AN ALBUM OUT YET HAS SONGS THEY CONSIDER B-SIDES, VERY RARE, AND APPARENTLY HOLDING SOME SORT OF VALUE ABOVE AND BEYOND THEIR OTHER MATERIAL THAT ISN’T EVEN RECORDED YET!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!???111

    Also, I’d like for their music to be labeled Beggarcore. Thanks.

    • hankmccain

      Beggarcore ROFL

      • El Peras

        Hobo-Metal??

  • Nick

    It seems like a really shitty thing to do considering I am sure he made a good enough amount of money when he was with attack attack to pay for this demo, but like any other young idiot he probably blew it all on stupid shit. But the real idiots here are the people donating to him. Can you really fault someone for asking for a free handout when he damn wells knows his moron fans will give it to him? His fans are idiots and he is taking advantage of them, do they even get a free cd when it comes out? I bet they don’t.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Austin-Pearl-Nutter/1418565949 Austin Pearl Nutter

    Lol I guess he drank away all his block letter t-shirt money. Seriously though, if, in this day and age, you can’t record a demo of decent quality using your laptop you probably shouldn’t even be a musician.

    • http://twitter.com/stuffuyouwillhate Sergeant D

      LOLOLOLOL @ “block letter t-shirt money,” love it!

      I don’t know much about current recording techniques, but I was under the impression that pirated software and a guitar were about all you needed to make something pretty damn good?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Timothy-Scott/1196691346 Timothy Scott

        You are correct on that one, look at Sailors with Wax Wings. Name sucks but good home made music.

      • SO SRS

        Well, you still gotta buy a Macbook Pro, you can ONLY record music on Apple products. It is in the computer handbook.

        • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/f60fa9e6421f91d4c1d1d0e1fe20a144?s=80 Goro923

          …not completely true. I recorded a song that I plan to send to the local band contest (1600$ prize). I did it with my handy laptop, a Line 6 TonePort (that came with Ableton Live) and the Drumkit from Hell (not so legal). And all latency/lag issues aside (which take a seriously long time to work aut), it’s pretty damn good.

    • herdy gurdy

      ya because we all know a two track interface using logic sounds exactly like a studio with an SSL.

      • AetherJake

        It’s a demo dude. It isn’t necessarily supposed to be super high quality, it’s just supposed to give people an idea of your sound.

  • AetherJake

    I hate Sergent D so much, then he just reels me back in.

  • Darth Brooks

    Ya records ain’t evil Joe, I’ze evil!

    • BD

      + infitnity

  • Glorious Johnson

    i cant wait to hear his suburban white kid with dredlocks songs! so x-treme

  • Cryzthormagnusian

    g*a-y for pay t*wink p*or-n should be enough to get his band of the ground. I wish him luck in that.

    And fuck these stupid filters that say my comment is awaiting moderation.

  • http://www.thejamminjabber.com thejamminjabber

    Two words. Fuck and off.

    • Jon

      that’s 3 words.

      • Sambo

        10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

  • alex

    why not just do what everyone else does and get a computer and pro tools or some kind of audio editing software and just make the demo in someones house? its a fuckign demo. no need to drop 4500 on something that will end up sounding just as fucking pathetic as attack attack. worthless musicians.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Palmer/100001795482653 David Palmer

    Fuck it, I’m sending you the $4500 Johnny, you’ve worked to hard to have to start working now!

  • TRON

    I was initially ticked like everyone else, but you know, this wouldn’t be such a bad idea if he guaranteed the recordings would be released freely upon completion. Sort of a pay-in-advance album if you know what I mean.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Burton/784250631 Dan Burton

    Shit like this makes me sick.

    Will someone donate to me so I can sit around and watch films and play video games all day so I don’t have to have a proper job ?

  • chainchomp

    well if they don’t get the donations then they can always fall back on the ol’ “van flip” routine.

  • Poison

    This is exactly what’s wrong with America today !!! If you don’t have the money, you don’t deserve the service, oh wait, let me be a complete mooch and suck off the tit of the fans. BULLSHIT. I’ve never listened to these guy’s but I’m sure they are complete tools, because only a tool would not realize how horribly classless it is to ask for donation’s to create art.

    WOW—-GO WORK AT MCDONALDS !!! ‘

  • jethr0skull

    You little fuckin rich kids are lining up to give your allowances too another fucking rich kid $$ because that’s the only fucking studio the little brats can go to.you know how much work( work, you ever had to do that?) us little bands have to go thru? hey dread,sell weed or somthing, aw wait you ain’t got to on that side of the tracks. If we needed $ that bad id take it from bitches like you.weak

  • Benito

    is there anyway to hack paypal accounts?

    • http://twitter.com/stuffuyouwillhate Sergeant D

      pretty sure u can donate anonymously, u dont need to hack it just for that dude

      • Sluga

        Holy shit, i lol’d hard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gilded-Thrones/100001415057666 Gilded Thrones

    He’ll just spend it on V-necks and skinny jeans.

  • Logan

    Perhaps if I give this little dickhead some money he’ll use it to buy some talent

    • Major Zim

      THIS

  • Major Zim

    ive usually liked your post Sgt. D but this one takes the cake. (as far as the comedic ones, final word on drumming is still best). These guys annoy the hell out of me so i always appreciate being able to laugh at them instead. i guess its really not that hard tho. anyways great job. moar posts!

    • http://twitter.com/stuffuyouwillhate Sergeant D

      thx brah, u really ‘get what my writing is all about’

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Austin-Pearl-Nutter/1418565949 Austin Pearl Nutter

        Giggle.

  • headnuts

    I hope this douche uses the money to buy a gun, kill his current and ex band members, then put the barrel in his mouth and pull the fucking trigger. Stop infecting the music industry with shitty music you talentless fuck.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Farrell/100000222012143 Matthew Farrell

    the fact that ppl actually donate is crazy, wtf is going on with the world these days, im gonna go hurl myself off my apartment balcony, jesus christ.

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/f60fa9e6421f91d4c1d1d0e1fe20a144?s=80 Goro923

      The saddest part is that they’re almost 3,200$ in by now… goddamn it.

  • Big Mike C.

    Quick! Donate to the Andy Samberg look a like!

  • A2James

    I’ll donate a computer virus to his donation site, hope that helps!

  • Patton

    Why bother giving money to good causes like a homeless shelter or a relief fund when you can give it to a little talentless shit who’s to fucking lazy to earn it himself.
    Giving money to the poor would be communism though, we don’t want that.

    • HARRYDICKERSON

      this

  • Chris

    fucking hysterical post.

  • http://www.twitter.com/jwseveredtwwk Tonberry

    I’m not a fan of his music, but I really don’t think this is that offensive. Like all Kickstarter projects, you get something in return for your pledge. If you pay the minimum $3 dollars now and get the full CD for download ahead of time, you’re ultimately getting it for much cheaper than if you had bought it on iTunes. If you’re the kind of person who pays for music, that’s a great deal. Think of it as less of a handout, and more of a deeply discounted presale. I’ve seen a lot of indie filmmakers, authors, and game designers I know use this to get their ideas of the ground, and there’s no reason why musicians should be shamed out of trying it as well.

    • ReallyGood@Wounding

      This is how the old patronage system worked for artists and composers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-John-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason John Crispen

    get a job. 4500??!?!?! you could get your own computer for a tenth of that and get the same fake ass drum sounds as that dude.

  • MonochromicSound

    How about instead of donating, you buy me an O, and you get the honor of blazing with me.

  • HARRYDICKERSON

    Awww the and was pulling him away from God, how cute.
    I’m betting this guy killed a hooker in an alcohol-fueled rage… or something along those lines.
    All I know is, he just shot himself in the foot for an invisible man in the sky.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Devon-Czekaj/550092101 Devon Czekaj

    Can I donate negative dollars?

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/f60fa9e6421f91d4c1d1d0e1fe20a144?s=80 Goro923

      1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

  • Zipper

    “LOL” is so ironic.

  • timmah

    it’s called a job. get one.

  • Old Man Doom

    Come on dude, really?
    Hey, he does what the Church does: takes people’s money!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Derrick-Odin-Mel-Kjrlien/639305706 Derrick Odin Mel Kjørlien

    Donate a little boy to the Vatican and they’ll record 10 albums for you for free.

  • El Peras

    The art of Sarge’s post lies in how many comments within a same spectrum it creates, reallly inflammatory, keep up the good work!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Wright/1365416981 Sean Wright

    Wow. That’s just fucking lame. It’s not like The Deftones who are asking donations for a member in the hospital, no it’s a band who is asking for donations on music they haven’t recorded yet.

    It’s like “Oh yeah, like if you pay for it now, you won’t have to pay for it later and get it for free. Cuz that’s how it should be, like, for free, like cuz I don’t have any money cuz I’m not going to get a job where they tell me to like, cut my hair, and like not let me wear my plugs, and show the chick off, like my tatoos.”

    Weak.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian-Friis-Jensen/586053558 Christian Friis Jensen

    Apparently the Lord Christ forbids him not only from partying too hard while on tour, but also to get an honest job like the rest of us while off tour.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Wright/1365416981 Sean Wright

      Somebody forgot to tell this kid that fucking Jesus himself didn’t ask for hand-outs whenever he was carrying that cross up the trail in the midst of the Middle Easten summer heat. Hell, he even carried that shit in front of his own mother for crying out loud.

      “Hey mom, how’s it going?” – Jesus sweating it out looking at his mom while stopping before he’s crucified
      “Oh sweetie, you’re looking bad.”
      “Yeah Mom, but a man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. See ya later” – Jesus as his mom wipes his face off, still carrying that cross and getting whipped by the Romans.

      AND THIS LITTLE FUCKING PUSSY HAS THE NERVE TO ASK FOR $4500????

  • Gitter

    Our ears paid for one shitty band. Now they expect donations? For a lil’ more than $80 I can visit the Red Light section of Hamburg, Thailand or at some private sex-club in Tokyo. That kinda schlurping is likely a better noise than his goob has to offer.

  • Phil Anshlomo

    Get a job. I’m sure with your wealth of experience and knowledge, you can get a great job in the food service or cleaning industries.

    Tell you what Johnny, let my punch you square in the face as hard as I can, and I’ll give you your $80.

  • plooba

    What’s sadder, that he’s asking for this money, or that he’s actually collected a large part of the sum already? According to his page he already picked up about 3200$ from 68-70 people… 45$ per donor?? WTF??

    • Phil Anshlomo

      Fuck me sideways.
      What do you want to bet those who donated don;t even get a free cd when their forthcoming musical abortion is scraped out? ?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dale-Octo-McDonald/1260656255 Dale ‘Octo’ McDonald

    This has has really fucking irked me, and thats not easy to do.

    Fuck this guy.

    First off all, what a cunt for asking for the money in the first place.

    This conceited fucker thinks he is worth $4500? Because he was in a another awful fucking band that he quit of his own accord?

    This dude has ideas WAY above his fucking station.

    Second of all, it does NOT cost that much money to record a demo. The guy is fucking clueless.

    Anyone who donated money is obviously retarded and you are facilitating a lazy fucknugget in doing more nothing and making probably what will end up being more awful music if his old band was anything to go by.

    People who want to do this thing and not worry about the money, get a fucking job.

    If I ever met this dude, I’d actually kick him in the vagina.

  • Dusty P.

    Disgusting.

  • vedicardi

    i sold my house to donate my money to this man

  • http://northernsword.bandcamp.com/ Northern Sword

    1.) This article is excellent.
    2.) I can’t believe this guy gets away with this.