So remember this past summer, when Vince Neil — who has literally killed and maimed people while drunk driving — was arrested in Vegas for DUI, and then subsequently flaunted his love and of boozin’ n’ cruisin’ not once but twice? Well, the Long Arm of the Law is not just gonna let this shit pass. No no no, assholes like Vince Neil need to be taught a lesson, even if they are famous. And so Vince is being handed a punishment only slightly more severe than the one I received when my parents found my cigarettes in the tenth grade. From Metal Insider:

“Neil will plead guilty to the DUI on January 26, and then will turn himself over to Clark County Detention Center in Las Vegas on February 15, where he will spend the next 15 days in. Following that, he will serve another 15 days under house arrest.”

Seriously? That’s it? The motherfucker is a repeat offender, and his sentence is two weeks in jail and two weeks playing Xbox while he has hookers n’ blow delivered to his house? I don’t leave the Mansion for fifteen days at a time on a regular basis — it’s called “Winter in New York City.”

What the fuck does Neil have to do to get an actual punishment, do you think? If he’d killed ANOTHER person, do you suppose they might have handed him, I dunno, say, 30 days in jail and 21 days under house arrest? What if he raped the judge’s wife — then do you think maybe they could’ve really stuck it to him with a whole 45 days in jail?

What a fucking joke. My suspicion is that Vince will spend his entire prison sentence in seclusion, where the other inmates can’t get to him, but hopefully I’m wrong, and those fifteen days are at least filled with many, many unwanted visits in the shower. Who knows, it might even be good for him — when he’s done, he might even make an album as good as Burzum’s latest.

-AR