Major props to Metal Insider for unearthing this gem of a vintage television commercial, promoting Warrant’s 900 number. (Do those still exist? And, if so, who the fuck uses them?) The ad would probably be hilarious just by virtue of its time and style, but really makes it worth your time is its use of ridiculous sexual (non-) innuendos. Some choice quotes:

• “Yeah, we like to rock, but we like to do a lot of other things, too!”
• “We’ll give you the warm, hard facts!”
• “Our fans always come first!”
• “Find out what happens behind tour bus doors!!!”

…all while instruction kids to ask their parents’ permission before calling, which is a classy touch. Although I doubt that Warrant ever discussed the abuse of cocaine, vodka, and young women on their hotline anyway. But, man, I would love to hear the filthy messages not-especially-bright young women and even-less-bright-thrash-fans-turned-pranksters must have been leaving on this line. I wonder if Warrant ever actually used it to recruit groupies.

In any case, I’m sure that the memory of this commercial is just one of the many things which now motivates Jani Lane’s efforts to eat and/or drink himself to death.

-AR