[To chronicle their current tour -- the U.S. portion of which features 3 Inches of Blood, Holy Grail and System Divide in support -- Swiss folk metallers Eluveitie will be writing an exclusive tour blog for MetalSucks. Week one of the tour took them through Sao Paulo, Belo Horizonte and Curitiba, Brazil before departing to New York to begin the U.S. portion. -Ed.]

“Well this is a great start.” One week before our departure to Brazil we find out our monitor technician and dear friend Gump’s visa has been denied… Why do we stay calm during the outbreak of a small catastrophe? Because if nothing would ever happen and things would go swimmingly we wouldn’t be Eluveitie. One day before our departure we find a replacement, Roland “Rolli” Heuberger. Thanks, man!

Usually our travel days are made up of events that really are worth mentioning to the world, but this time we’re truly disappointed. Chrigel doesn’t even stumble through security in a completely intoxicated condition with a bread knife or drill in his hand luggage. All he does is fall off a chair in Starbucks after struggling not to pass out for 30 minutes. Last time he performed a stunt like this, that unpronounceable volcano in Iceland (yeah I’m not just gonna copy/paste whatever that thing is called and pretend I knew that) erupted. We’re dead serious.

So after 12 hours on a plane we’re finally in Brazil! Sao Paulo. It’s hot, it’s humid, it’s summer. We just came from fucking snow-covered frostbitten winter wonderland and we can’t even cure our heat-shocks in the hotel because we’ve got a tight schedule filled with interviews and an acoustic set on national TV. But at least we don’t make fools of ourselves for once. Or maybe just a tiny bit.

Are we tired? Yes, we’re completely fucked up and close to collapsing, but we don’t give up! We decide to do what stupid tourists do in Brazil and have tons of Caipirinhas.

Yeah, combined with the local climate that’s a bad idea and an experience we don’t learn from the whole wonderful summer-week.

***

Domestic air travel in Brazil is probably the most awesome thing ever apart from the food (Brazilian BBQ FTW!!!).

“Should I take out my laptop?”

“No.”

“I have liquids too…”

“No.”

With a victorious smile on your face you march through security and you know that flying can be awesome!

Before we get on the plane the passports are checked once more… for some unknown reason the security officer looks at the page with Anna’s old US visa that expired like 2 years ago and nods. And then we find ourselves in a tiny plane that looks like it’s built up by random parts of other planes… Comfy as fuck though. A real pity Chrigel doesn’t remember flying to Curitiba (“We were on a plane today?!”).

***

Shows? We’re a band?! Oh yeah, finally after two days off and fucking about we can actually get on stage and do what we came here for!

So we’re driving around in Belo Horizonte and the two promoters Caca and Antonio are announcing “fan precautions” and that we should just get out of the van and immediately run for the venue entrance… basically all the real rockstar-stuff you imagine. We just smirk and think “why would anybody give a shit about us moronic Swiss people?”

Damn, but these are some serious fans! Not only in Belo Horizonte, but also in Sao Paulo and Curitiba they’re already outside waiting at like 2 in the afternoon wanting pictures and autographs and making us feel like we are actually the coolest people ever! On top of that they’re not equipped with drinking horns and viking helmets and they don’t spit in your face when they talk whilst reeking of beer and mead. No! They’re wonderful, polite and awesome people. Brazil rules.

***

The shows themselves were amazing… all three of them. Hot as hell, terribly exhausting, but it was worth every minute of it. The first show in Belo Horizonte was probably the worst… During “Omnos” Anna almost puked because she couldn’t breathe, but wasn’t the only one almost collapsing. If the crowd wouldn’t have been so awesome we would have just given up. Additional note from Anna: “I never want to see Kay suddenly standing next to me in solely his underpants ever again”.

And damn, those Brazilians certainly know their Gaulish! We couldn’t even play our “sing along repeat after me” lyric game in “Slanias Song” because they knew the bloody chorus better than we do.

***

As you can clearly see… the summary is: Brazil is so fucking awesome. Brazilian barbecue, caipirinhas, the great people there… we had the best time.

On the very last day before flying off to New York we actually want to go and check out Sao Paulo for a few hours and do something touristy, but after one Caipirinha after lunch we don’t really manage to go anywhere anymore and instead have 5 more each in the hotel room… Best hotel party ever. We even discovered a new passion involving a pool and dancing… But you will have to check out some upcoming video footage for that.

A good start to continue our journey to the US! Or is it? We forget a rack containing some $5,000 worth of equipment at the hotel and almost miss our flight… but that’s just a minor detail.

America, here we come!