If you’re reading this, then presumably the headline enticed you and you already know what you’re getting into. So why waste time? Here are some funny/interesting ways in which metal and Hollywood are currently overlapping:

• In a new interview with indieWIRE, Trent Reznor confirms what most of us assumed was just a ridiculous rumor — that director David Fincher has approached him and his collaborator, Atticus Ross, about doing a musical version of his 1999 film, Fight Club: “‘It would be the exact opposite of Spider-Man,’ Reznor said quickly, referring to the beleaguered Broadway production scored by Bono.  ‘And we’d be writing the music from scratch.’” I’m sure everyone’s first thought when they hear this is something along the lines of “WORST. IDEA. EV-AR.” But if anyone can make it cool, it’s Reznor and Ross. The idea is only the early stages, so let’s wait and see if it even actually happens or not.
• Speaking of musicals: after months of consideration, Tom Cruise has officially signed on to the film adaptation of the Broadway hit Rock of Ages, according to Collider. The show recycles cock rock songs from the 80s to tell a story only tourists and the mentally disabled care about. While we’d previously heard that Cruise was considering the role of “Dennis” — a part played on The Great White Way by none other than Dee Snider — apparently he’s actually going to play ““Stacee Jaxx, the arrogant and charming star at the top of his career.” Among the songs Cruise will required to sing are Bon Jovi’s “Dead or Alive,” so, uh, just chew on that for a minute. In any case, Adam Shankman, who previously taught us all what REAL cinema is with such classics as The Pacifier and Cheaper by the Dozen 2, will direct a cast that is also rumored to include Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Gwyneth Paltrow, , Gwyneth Paltrow, and Mary J. Blige.
• Finally, if, like me, you are both a metal nerd and a (non-prequel) Star Wars nerd, the above shirt probably makes you randy. You can order yourself one here.

-AR