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What the fuck??

TAYLOR MOMSEN’S DADDY DIDN’T HUG HER ENOUGH

 Monday, February 28th, 2011 at 2:00pm by

If I ever saw Grim Kim wearing a tank top that reads “I FUCK FOR SATAN,” I’d probably think it was hilarious. But, then, Grim Kim isn’t seventeen years old.

Seriously, I wonder what it’s like to be Taylor Momsen’s parents, and know that you inarguably did a terrible job raising your child, and that now the best case scenario is that she dies of an overdose by the age of twenty? At least if she’d become a stripper or gone into porn or something she probably would have adopted a stage name and you could deny that you are one of the worst parents ever. But no, Taylor Momsen is all over the mainstream media, alerting everyone to the fact that her folks loved money more than her at every turn.

You can see more pictures (but why would you want to?) at Dlisted, who have used the brilliant headline “And Satan Just Became Celibate.” Thanks to The Deciblog for bringing this to our attention.

-AR

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  • grossj

    I have no idea who that is. Should I know who that is?

    • Pastor of Muppets

      Ditto.

      • troe

        I had to look her up. Since I didn’t know what a “Taylor Momsen” is.

        Long story short. 17 year old Cindy Lou Who from the Grinch.

  • el fucko

    wouldn’t fuck her with a stolen dick.

    • pigchop

      Lies! All lies!

      • OhDestiny

        i would all night long!!. she’s sexXxi mmmmm

  • http://twitter.com/stuffuyouwillhate Sergeant D

    Accurate title is accurate

    Her parents should seriously be charged with something, shameful

  • wha?

    I have never heard her band, nor will I likely seek it out as I just don’t see how my old ass will relate to a 17-year-old’s music/lyrics, but I do find it somewhat sad that anytime I see something about this chick and her band, their actual music is never commented upon. Always about the look…. is there any actual talent?

    • legato

      yeah actually. i pirated (AHOY MATEY) her band’s album a few days ago, and it was good. it’s unsettling to hear her try too hard to “rock out” and be “badass” because it’s so blatant and in-your-face and annoying (READ HER LYRICS LOL), but nevertheless, it’s a guilty-pleasure hard rock album with some variety. it doesn’t break any new ground whatsoever but the songs are catchy and well-written. her voice is quite wonderful too, i must shamefully admit. she has a big contralto voice.

      but she’s a cunt. :(

      • unfun

        totally agree w/ legato – she’s a good singer. definitely a guilty pleasure, but i blame TayMom – she made a joke of herself and now nobody else will take her seriously. its a shame she has to act like a crackhoor, crying about a terrible childhood. i’m sure acting in commercials and Grinch movies and making shit-tons of cash was tough…but whatev, maybe it really was bad. i just wish she would put some goddam pants on and sing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Hulsey/653830783 David Hulsey

    Who the hell is this?

  • Krang10

    That picture sure just fucked my day up.

  • Hysteria

    She was on that gossip girl shite and ‘turned bad’. Just another kick down the ladder for women’s dignity there Taylor, thanks.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cleber-Monteiro/100000392246968 Cleber Monteiro

    C’mon,she’s worth a fuck.

  • Kye

    I like her band.

    There, I said it.

    • Mordecai 9000

      Agreed.

      Now if y’all don’t mind, I’m gonna begin my fap session.

  • msv81

    I’m with the other people that have NO CLUE who the fuck this is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Delarosa/569469815 Jonathan Delarosa

    Upon further research, she auditioned for Hannah Montana and made it into the top 3, next to Miley Cyrus and someone else we don’t care about.

    Kids these days…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Delarosa/569469815 Jonathan Delarosa

      Oh, and this is Taylor Momsen. She was on Gossip Girl and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. And other things we don’t care about. So yeah.

      • Vinsanity

        is that mofuckin cindy loo who? wow, never woulda guessed.

  • pdf

    I realize it’s lots of fun to bash on this girl, but I’m curious about the tone of the copy – particularly the phrase “the best case scenario is that she dies of an overdose by the age of twenty”. I did a quick Google search, and wasn’t able to find any stories about Momsen doing drugs, or even being seen anywhere drunk. She wears slutty clothes and a lot of makeup – that’s the extent of her crimes. Oh, and she has a band that the MetalSucks editors don’t like. I think the rhetoric is a little extreme, considering all she’s done to date is dress up in costume to have her picture taken. If there’s ever actual evidence of her doing anything beyond smoking cigarettes, that’ll be a different story.

    • Dirtman73

      Drugs and booze aren’t the main issue with this chick. If you believe everything she says about her parents and her upbringing, she’s got some serious issues she needs to deal with before she completely falls off the mental cliff.

      Normal 17-year-olds don’t wear trashy lingerie when grocery shopping, and they don’t flash their poonanny to dirty old men at concerts. I’d be willing to bet she’s banging the members of her band too. She’s got problems.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lincoln-Sample/605089364 Lincoln Sample

      It’s really just Axl. 90% of his posts are him wishing death on people or getting offended by meaningless crap. This site is the only place I even hear about this girl. I’m almost convinced that she’s not even real and her existence is just a carefully constructed hoax to give metal bloggers something to bitch about.

    • legato

      really? i think you aren’t googling well enough, i must say.

      she did specify a few times that she did drugs and makes a few references about it on her album. also she said that her best friend is her vibrator because apparently, she’s gotten tired of having sex with real men. she flashes her boobs when she’s on stage, and she lets her tampon strings hang out under her minidresses. and she has given a name to her personal style: “high-class hooker”.

      she’s fucked up, mehn. i kinda understand Axl and his constant need to bash her.

      don’t ask why i know all of this :\

  • http://www.thejamminjabber.com thejamminjabber

    I’d fuck her FOR satan.

    • MoonSnake

      Totes, bro. Statuatory is sooo metal.

      • dave

        1

  • OLiNViLLE

    Am I the only one that thinks this shit is funny?

    • nigbot

      Am I the only one who would bang her senseless?

      • WowWee!

        No

      • flowers and rainbow kisses

        negative ghostrider, the pattern is full

  • steverazor

    I have 2 daughters older than her. (sigh)

  • http://lahaadcore.com farhaad esfandiary

    I’d violate.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Will-Breen/1371272524 Will Breen

    Okay, what the fuck. She’s my age, give or take a few months, and she looks like she’s thirty. I mean, granted, she probably smokes a good pack a day more than I do, but still.

  • super blaze dave

    I’d give her the d.

    • Aether Jake

      I’d give her the clap.

  • esteban

    trying toooo hard. i bet she doesn’t even do anything bad outside of her onstage persona and her antics definitely do not match her shitty soft band. fuck her stupid ass gimmick.

  • horsecore

    If Revolver is still around at this time next year, I’m sure she’ll host the 2012 Golden Showers Awards.

  • Matt Pike’s Lost Shirt

    Great, now I’m horny. Thanks alot

  • kmfcm

    what the fuck is a Taylor Momsen?!!?

  • dfgdfgdfg

    I still can’t get to grips over what Americans find so unusual about this girl. Either everyone bitching here never leaves the house or your country is really as puritan as you make it sound.

    • Axem

      I’d with the later.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Monika-Alexander/1839460098 Monika Alexander

        Oh god, we are so sexually repressed in the public forum. It’s interesting though that, behind closed doors, we produce and consume more pornography than any other country.

        I remember everyone making a big to-do about an interview she (Momsen) did where she alludes to being sexually active. For some reason, people don’t want to accept the fact that teenagers fuck. And plenty of people got their panties in a bunch when Miley Cyrus did something slutty on-stage at an awards show, but no-one things it odd when middle-aged men are excited that she’s legal now (I’m sure everyone remembers the national celebration when the Olsen twins became legal).

        tl;dr: Americans are a bunch of sick fucks, but it’s easier to call a girl a slut then admit that you’re a pervert.

        • dfgdfgdfg

          Very good points, I agree entirely.

          My point boils down to — how is she different than any other 17 year old? The insinuation here is ‘her sick parents forced her to be a whore’. People — uh:

          1) When’s the last time you talked to a 17 year old? Or saw one for that matter? Tell me, on average, what age group in particular is most likely to “fuck for Satan” — sexually mature 60 year olds or 17 year olds?

          2) What money-hungry couple would be stupid enough to steer her semi-famous child away from the profitable TV market and into the sinkhole of rock music of all things imaginable? She’s clearly doing this on her own accord.

          3) She’s taking the piss and intentionally going out of her way to annoy you and you’re falling for it.

          But don’t mind me. In reality, smoky eyeshadow is definitely an indisputable indication of nymphomania and severe heroin addiction.

    • esteban

      well what third world country are you from where its ok to get married to goats and rape children?

      the issue isn’t about artists selling sex, its either about the fact that she’s 17 and got sold out by her parents a long time ago or that this is all one lame and unbelievable gimmick.

      • dfgdfgdfg

        Well, if you can read, you’re in luck because both issues have been cleared.

        And it’s really not a question of whether the gimmick is lame or not — it’s whether you’re falling for it or not.

  • Logan

    Nice chins

  • souldestroyer

    wow thats brutal. u guys think shes fat and ugly and has issues coz she wears slutty clothes when shes 17? or that doing drugs is a bad thing? or that maybe shes slutty?now i thought MS was cool with the whole doing whatever the fuk u want attitude (even if she is 17) and i dont get wtf is wrong with doing any of that except the fact shes only 17 and negligent parents fukn suck and that she probably doesnt even do half of that stuff which makes her a lame poser.

    srsly. some ppl have parental issues. get the fuk over it. no need to say she should die when shes fukn 20. thats srsly fked up. and BTW i think shes super hot. or she would be if she wasnt faking the entire thing

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tanner-Westhomas/1506171449 Tanner Westhomas

    I just typed a huge response and your fucking site failed to post it correctly. basicly it said…

    I think a famous person being into metal is cool, especially because shes a girl

    If she does have issues, how is that differ from a guy who has issues and likes metal?

    Ignorant comments like these are the reason there are less women in metal

    In a world that shits on any real individuality, im glad to see someone in the media giving pop culture a big FUCK YOU

    also i would love to blast some DM and annihilate her in all the right ways

    • souldestroyer

      1

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Will-Breen/1371272524 Will Breen

      Eh, fair point. I actually agree more or less; I don’t have any moral objection to a 17 year old wearing potentially offensive clothing – I’m a 17 year old, and I wear tons of potentially offensive clothing. But then, I also have enough common sense to wear pants on stage.

    • OhDestiny

      Fuck ya Damn straihgt i love the way you think!!. <3

  • Wray

    Stupid famewhore twat aside, I find it completely comforting that I am not the only male metalhead in the world that reads DListed.

  • Jeff Burtmann

    Axel is just mad that a talentless 17-year old girl gets more attention than his failed Post-avantgarde-beastiality metalband got back in the late 80s.

  • http://www.zoinks.tv patrick

    The more 17 year-old metal chicks there are on the planet, the better a place it is. I’m all for it. Sans audio, in this case.

  • Honeydew Wilkins

    Packaged Rebellion etc., etc.,

    “All over the mainstream media…”

    I know the “news” will report on pointless celebrity gossip like Charlie Sheen, but I have never heard of this girl or seen her on the news.

    Dumb kid trying to piss off her parents is nothing to get angry about or post about really. Save the venom for ironic hipster metal and deathcore.

  • canea

    Would hit it.

    As long as it didn’t talk.

    • Adam J. A.

      So dead?

      • http://evilsausage.livejournal.com/ Evil

        Or gagged.

  • Adam J. A.

    The LIndsay Lohan of metal! Just think of the potential rise of new fans (12 yr old boys and 40 yr old married men) who see this prodigy of press on MSNBC!

  • melvillain

    I think its hilarious that a metal blog is defending “family values.” Axl, your performance art is better than Glenn Beck’s. Keep it up.

  • Grim Kim

    Referring to this misguided little twat as a “metal chick” is an insult to every female fan of the genre. Put some pants on and stop trying to appropriate the trappings of a culture that you do not belong to, kid.

  • Justin

    what’s the big deal?!?

  • http://evilsausage.livejournal.com/ Evil

    Wow Axl, you’re offended by the sight of a teen girl dressing slutty in public. That’s got to be about the least metal thing I’ve ever seen you write. I Mean seriously, Taylor Momson is a 17yo with issues? Well shit, I had issues when I was 17, and I’d be real surprised if you didn’t. Me, I think we should all just stick to ragging on the targets who unquestionably deserve it – Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Ashley Simpson, etc., etc.

  • Prettyinblack

    @ Monika…100% correct. If my memory serves me correctly, there was a website with a counter which counted down the days until the Olsen twins were legal.

  • chris

    why is this even on this website?

  • http://noepe amy

    I LOVEEEEE TAYLOR MOMSEN SHE KICKS ASS!!!

  • Georgia-Lee

    Ok, so Taylor Momsen is the biggest try hard ever. Goodness gracious i dream about punching her in the face – literally.
    Here are some of my favourite lines of hers;

    “Music keeps me young.” Just uh. No comment.

    “I have my favorite black knife with me all the time. It’s a switchblade. It relaxes me to flick it. I flew from New York to Los Angeles and still had a couple of knives in my purse. I thought I took them all out but they got tucked up in the folds. I went through security, took them on the plane, opened my bag to get my wallet in LA and they fell out. I was like: ‘Holy shit!’”
    It was like she was thinking, “oh i don’t think i’m coming off as rebellious enough so i’ll just mention my sweet knife collection that i sneak through airports and don’t get caught cos i am such a bada$$????!?!”
    UGH.

    -.-

    Okay so I may not know her on real life but these quotes don’t do her ANY justice whatsoeverrrr.

    • Nebelhexa

      hahahaha so much THIS on your comment.

      talentless fucks have to make do with gimmicks like this. all the metal chicks i dig didn’t resort to any of this badass wannabe’s “lookatme lookatme i’m so baaaad” antics.

      fuck you cunt, Gen from Genitorturers look thrice better in thigh-high boots than you.

    • Nebelhexa

      hahahaha so much THIS on your comment.

      talentless fucks have to make do with gimmicks like this. all the metal chicks i dig didn’t resort to any of this badass wannabe’s “lookatme lookatme i’m so baaaad” antics.

      fuck you cunt, Gen from Genitorturers look thrice better in thigh-high boots than you.