Fun fact: I put the Mötley Crüe/Poison/New York Dolls tour date I wanna hit up (I’ve considered it and I’m ready to forgive Vince Neil as long as he promises to remain pathetic) in the calendar on my iPhone, AND THE PHONE AUTOMATICALLY ADDED UMLAUTS. It really is the future, guys. 2001 was just a misprint. I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

ANYWAY, I know a lot of you are pretty down on this tour, and I’ll try to keep that in mind when Vince and I are having an amazing time at the show. Actually, I’ll probably be way too coked up to care. Nevvvverrrrr mind.

Here are the dates:

May 29 – Pryor, OK – Rocklahoma
Jun. 07 – Dallas, TX – Gexa Energy Pavilion
Jun. 09 – San Antonio, TX – AT&T Center
Jun. 10 – Houston, TX – Toyota Center
Jun. 12 – Albuquerque, NM – Hard Rock Pavilion
Jun. 14 – Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood Bowl
Jun. 15 – San Francisco, CA – Bill Graham Civic Auditorium
Jun. 17 – Phoenix, AZ – Desert Sky Pavilion
Jun. 18 – Las Vegas, NV – Venue TBD
Jun. 19 – Salt Lake City, UT – USANA Amphitheatre
Jun. 21 – Kansas City, MO – Sprint Center
Jun. 22 – Maryland Heights, MO – Verizon Wireless Amphitheater
Jun. 24 – Minneapolis, MN – Target Center
Jun. 25 – Milwaukee, WI – Bradley Center
Jun. 26 – Cincinnati, OH – Riverbend Music Center
Jun. 28 – Toronto, ON – Molson Amphitheatre
Jun. 29 – Clarkston, MI – DTE Energy Music Theatre
Jul. 01 – Tinley Park, IL – FMB Amphitheatre
Jul. 02 – Noblesville, IN – Verizon Wireless Music Center
Jul. 03 – Nashville, TN – Bridgestone Arena
Jul. 05 – Hollywood, FL – Seminole Hard Rock Live Arena
Jul. 06 – Tampa, FL – St. Pete Times Forum
Jul. 08 – Biloxi, MS – Mississippi Coast Coliseum
Jul. 09 – Pelham, AL – Verizon Wireless Music Center (No Poison, sad for you)
Jul. 10 – Atlanta, GA – Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood
Jul. 12 – Charlotte, NC – Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
Jul. 13 – Hershey, PA – Star Pavilion at Hersheypark
Jul. 15 – Uncasville, CT – Mohegan Sun Arena
Jul. 16 – Camden, NJ – Susquehannna Bank Center
Jul. 19 – Mansfield, MA – Comcast Center
Jul. 20 – Uniondale, NY – Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum
Jul. 22 – Darien Center, NY – Darien Lake Performing Arts Center
Jul. 23 – Saratoga Springs, NY – Saratoga Performing Arts Center
Jul. 24 – Pittsburgh, PA – Stage AE
Jul. 27 – Cheyenne, WY – Frontier Days (No Poison or New York Dolls, also sad for you)
Jul. 29 – Youngstown, OH – Covelli Centre
Jul. 30 – Frederick, MD – Outlaw Jam 2011
Jul. 31 – Scranton, PA – Toyota Pavilion at Montage Mountain
Aug. 5 – Tomah, WI – Fort McCoy

-AR