MASTER THESPIAN LARS ULRICH JOINS NICOLE KIDMAN/CLIVE OWEN DRAMA

Friday, March 11th, 2011 at 11:30am by

Speaking of heavy metal peeps and HBO: according to Deadline, Lars Ulrich has joined the cast of the cable network’s upcoming film, Hemingway & Gellhorn, which, in case the title didn’t give it away, “recounts the tumultuous romance and subsequent marriage of literary master Ernest Hemingway and up-and-coming war correspondent Martha Gellhorn, following them through the Spanish Civil War and beyond.” The movie is being directed by Philip Kaufman (Twisted) and executive produced by James Gandolfini (8mm).  Clive Owen (The Rich Man’s Wife) is playing Hemingway and Nicole Kidman (Bewitched) is playing Martha Gellhorn, because nothing says “Spanish Civil War” like botox. David Strathairn (Simon Birch), Tony Shaloub (Men in Black II), Parker Posey (Blade Trinity), and now Ulrich round out the cast.

The diminutive drummer will be playing “Joris Ivens, the Dutch documentarian of The Spanish Earth.” Ulrich is actually Danish, but was apparently cast both because no one can tell the difference between the Danes and the Dutch, and because, like the real-life Ivens, he enjoys having ridiculous hair cuts.

So I guess the only question now is, “Can Ulrich possibly top his performance in Get Him to The Greek?” Personally, I think he should have made like Heath Ledger and died immediately after filming to ensure that his legacy remains unvarnished, but who knows, maybe now he’ll finally get the Emmy he so richly deserves?

-AR

  • legato

    EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

  • Mongorian

    ‘to ensure that his legacy remains unvarnished’

    lulz

  • Deth

    I love how it says “produced by James Gandalfini (8mm)” as if that movie was his crowning achievement. Nobody knew who he was in that movie. He was the star of a little show called The Sopranos – maybe you’ve heard of it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Austin-Pearl-Nutter/1418565949 Austin Pearl Nutter

    “…..and Nicole Kidman (Bewitched)…..”

    Is Bewitched really what Nicole Kidman is best known for?

    • Anthony

      It does that for all the actors mentioned

      • John

        They seem to have picked the crappiest movie for each of those actors. I had purged from my memory that Parker Posey was in Blade Trinity and that Shaloub was in MIBII. Strathairn was nominated for a best actor Oscar for Good Night, and Good Luck, but they didn’t list that.

      • http://multimedia-ami.deviantart.com amelia

        No, if it did that it would say Lars Ulrich (St. Anger)

  • Duderino

    You obviously don’t understand the sarcasm…….

    • Deth

      Just didn’t notice it, actually. I only happenned to notice the James Gandolfini since I’m a big Sopranos fan. Now that I see it for all of the actors…insert foot into mouth.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Rodriguez-III/1435762004 Jose Rodriguez III

    Children of Men: best Clive Owen movie ever.

  • Choronzon

    Keep hating from your basement you miserable rat (Axl)

    • Johnny

      keep reading from his site you dumb fuck

  • http://www.zoinks.tv patrick

    Sounds terrible.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Diego-Dias/802173241 Diego Dias

    One point that *maybe* helped choose Urlrich was the fact that the dutch language is actually a mix of english, french and… danish

    • http://akelei.org Misha

      Rather the other way around: the English language is a mix of Dutch and Danish and ‘the rest’.

  • Boogyman

    BBBOOOOOORRRIIINNNNNGGGGG….!!!!!