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EXCLUSIVE TRACK PREMIERE: IWRESTLEDABEARONCE ARE RUINING IT FOR EVERYBODY, SHOW US THEIR “KARATE NIPPLES”

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Earlier this week, we revealed that Iwrestledabearonce are changing genres to black metal, and promised that we’d unveil their debut as a BM band this week. Well, here it is — and it’s good to see that the band’s new, grim image hasn’t dampened their sense of humor too much. The track is called “Karate Nipples,” and it’s the first song off their all-new, all-black metal release, Ruining it for Everybody, out Tuesday, July 26 on Century Media.

Well I mean come ON, you didn’t really think they were turning into a black metal band, did you?

No no no. This was just IWABO and MetalSucks being the merry pranksters we are! Ruining it for Everybody features no actual black metal. Sorry, Emperor fans.

What it does contain is eleven new schizophrenic, experimental, ADHD tracks that are sure to piss off the humorless, elitist tight asses of the world — in other words, just the kind of shit we’ve come to expect and love from IWABO. In fact, this album is like It’s All Happening on angel dust — everything about it is more “ier.” The grindy sections are even nastier than they were before, and the not-so-grindy sections (for lack of a better phrase) are even more danceable, super-catchy, and further steeped in electronica. In this regard, “Karate Nipples” is exemplary of the whole album — contrast the section starting around the :41 second mark, which I could seriously picture all the girls who hold Sarah Jessica Parker as their idol bopping up and down, with the section that immediately follows it, which is pretty much just a piece of broken glass jabbed right up your fucking urethra. The approach isn’t that different from Happening, but the extremity of the extremism sure is.

Like we said, Ruining it for Everybody — which is a great fucking title, given the band’s relationship with the haters — comes out July 26 on Century Media. Get stoked. The band will also be the reason to go to this summer’s All Stars Tour — get dates here.

-AR

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