FRANKIE PALMERI MIGHT BE THE MOST UNORIGINAL PERSON IN THE WORLD

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011 at 4:30pm by

Remember back in February, when Emmure’s Frankie Palmeri claimed that he was really some otherworldy being named Thanos Reignz? Here, I’ll remind you:

“For the record, my name is Thanos Reignz, although you may know me as Frankie Palmeri. My true self is beginning to emerge.”

And this is a ridiculous statement, not just because of its both pompous and preposterous, but because Thanos is a character from Marvel comics, which means that either Frankie can’t tell the difference between make believe and the really real world, or otherwise has all the imagination of a corpse.

Well, now Frankie has a new, apparently electronic side-project which is in fact called Thanos Reignz. And guess what? Not only is it terrible, but it consists almost entirely of unoriginal material.

The first Thanos track made available to the listening public is labeled simply “This Is A Preview Of What Is To Come,” which Frankie also said in that same interview from February, because now he’s even recycling his own quotes. And it’s fucking terrible, but that’s to be expected because, well, come on.

But here’s what makes the track noteworthy. And by “noteworthy,” I mean “incomprehensibly idiotic.”

The song is roughly two minutes long, and approximately one minute and twenty-four seconds (yep, I timed it, ’cause I am just that cool) of that running time is just a looped sample from the Underworld song “Born Slippy,” with some terrible house music-style cymbal and bass beats that sound like they were made on the Casio I had when I was seven added in.

So, to review: 70% of the first Thanos Reignz song is actually someone else’s song. But neither Underworld nor Rick Smith and Karl Hyde (who are credited with having written “Slippy”) are mentioned anywhere on the Thanos Reignz tumblr page save for some dude pointing out the connection in the comments section. And failing to acknowledge the folks who actually wrote the song seems, y’know, rude and disingenuous at best, and actionable at worst.

The remaining 30% of the track consists of samples of movie dialogue and some machine gun noises. So, really, Frankie’s only original contribution to this music was a few beats.

And so, to reiterate…

If you take Emmure seriously, you are stupid.

-AR

[via The PRP]

 

  • evilfatguy

    1

    • Deere

      The whole stealing thing has been going on for a while for them. The “dubstep” samples in the single from Emmure’s last album were stolen from a beat making site. The samples are so short that I doubt anyone will bother taking any action though.

      • heyheygety

        Of course nobody would bother taking any action, it’s not like they’re going to make a shitton of money from these no-talent assclowns.

        • Marchosias

          No Talent Assclown is stolen from Office Space.

          • ilax2392rp

            For real fuck you guys. Like honestly who has time to sit and tell everyone else what’s fucking stolen. Everything is fucking stolen. Literally almost anything can be copy written so probably half this sentence I’m piecing together now is stolen! Fuck off get off Frankie’s cock 24/7. Because guess what if he wanted your opinion he probably would have taken his dick out of your mouth.

  • turds

    Emmure is like the limp bizkit of nu metal, except that limp bizkit had talented musicians.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dale-Satterly/100000604455583 Dale Satterly

      Uh, hate to break it to you, but Limp Bizkit was nu-metal.

    • Planeswalker

      Lmao you mean Emmure is the Limp Bizkit of Metalcore?

      • turds

        right. I try to make an lol and inadvertantly make myself look foolish.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cary-Hutchison/713105300 Cary Hutchison

          But you still managed an lol, it just wasn’t in the direction you had hoped for. Just kidding. ;)

  • Duderino

    Trainspotting yeeeeah

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Connor-Conti/1684295628 Connor Conti

      Thats what I thought right away, great movie btw

  • Perpetual Black Screen Name

    What a dick wad.

  • A normal human like the rest of you

    Frankie Palmeri is a sample of what today’s youth islike basically, so in no way is he the moat unoriginal person in the world. Typical kid’s today have little to no original thoughts or ideas or creativity.

    • A normal human like the rest of you

      *is like

      *the most

      *typical kids

      Fuck. I really need to proofread my comments.

      • Jewers

        Perhaps you just shouldn’t post at all if you’re going to post generalized dribble.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Timmons/1778011234 Ryan Timmons

          Those damn kids nowadays with their grammar classes and spelling lessons!

          On topic though, I can’t believe that he would sample so blatantly without giving credit where it’s due.

          • Cpt. Howdy

            Ouch. I’m feeling the burn from this one.
            Simply put, I disagree. Just one man’s opinion.

  • MachinaeSupremacist

    There is no way this guy is serious. He has to be trolling.

    • Gangster as fuck

      Thank you. I’ve been waiting for this all to be a terrible joke. surley, he can’t be THIS bad…. Then again, maybe he is serious.

      • MachinaeSupremacist

        He can’t be a wigger, a weeaboo, a deathcore frontman, and a soulbonder at once. That much fail can’t physically exist in one person.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nick-Briggs/1133730038 Nick Briggs

      I feel like one day, he’ll pull off his mask and underneath we will realize he’s been Srgt. D trolling us the whole time,,,, the most elaborate trolling of our time

      • MachinaeSupremacist

        He would do that, and that’s why he’s awesome.

        • Cpt. Howdy

          Or maybe….Frankie is Sgt. D. Cue Twilight Zone theme.

          • alex

            Most hilarious comment I’ve read all day!

          • Kristin

            lol XD

          • Cpt. Howdy

            I aim to please.

    • http://twitter.com/stuffuyouwillhate Sergeant D

      He’s from New York. People there are seriously this stupid.

  • Derrek

    More like Mannure

    • MachinaeSupremacist

      Sorry, Kvelertak already used that one. And unlike you, they spelled “manure” correctly, despite being Norwegian.

      • Planeswalker

        I just Lol’d hard at this! XD

  • Chainsword

    I hate House

  • Tom

    life flip x 1000

    • kittyliquer

      1

  • Cayle

    Please. exterminate. self.

  • Charlie

    This dude HAS to be trolling. Massive lol trolling. Absolutely has to be.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dustin-Wildcard-Koetsch/1096220255 Dustin Wildcard Koetsch

    This is the most unoriginal crap I have ever heard.

  • EmmureRules

    Why the hate? Maybe his talent is ahead of this time.

    • ALCOHOLOCAUST

      Maybe his talent is behind his time, he has made a career of ripping of musicians. I can count 3 Acacia Strain songs that they damn near note for note rip off ( i.e. Smoke You Later, rusted over wet dreams ) the dude is a fat sweaty piece of gutter trash, enough said.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Boyd/1280717250 Michael Boyd

      you’ve got more shit coming out of your mouth then you do your ass

    • lulwut

      Can’t tell if trolling or extremely stupid….

    • cougar party

      I am pretty sure you guys got trolled.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Boyd/1280717250 Michael Boyd

        you dont make an account called emmure rules just to troll,
        and if you do youre fucking retarded

        • Michael Boyd Sucks

          Oh, sometimes you do.

        • MachinaeSupremacist

          “Make an account”? You mean “type ‘EmmureRules’ into the name field and enter your email”, right?

  • Barry Von Breetalstein

    I might go rip the head off one to emmure

    • luvmus

      more like rip a underage girls top off with frankie

  • heyheygety

    *sigh* When is this no-talent assclown going to go away? Hopefully he takes his shitty band with him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Thomas-Leo-Braund/707525448 Thomas Leo Braund

    i used to have a game called ‘music’ on my playstation when i was about 13. the shitty songs i used to make on that were still superior to this in every way. it is phenomenally bad to the point that i agree it must be a joke. the cheap sounding kick drum doesn’t even come in on time. i reckon he put that together in less time than it takes to actually listen to it.

  • Robot Jesus

    I like Emmure (yes im prepared for the flameing) BUUUUUT I can admit they have MAYBE 2-3 good songs but this I’m not even going to bother with at all because I still want to be able to somewhat justify why i like them

    • lulwut

      The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

      • boazhimself

        12

  • Some Random Dude

    This Underworld song isn’t half bad…

    • MachinaeSupremacist

      Shame about the movie, though.

      • Daniel Guzmán

        Oh no you didn’t.

  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt

    For the record, my real name is Ron Jeremy. The more porn I watch the more my Penis will reveal itself.

  • alex

    This article & comments section were some of the funniest shit ive read in a while.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eirik-Kjs-Usterud/1067091137 Eirik Kjøs Usterud

    Thank you, this article, for two things:

    1: giving me another reason to laugh at Emmure
    2: introducing me to that Underworld song, it owns

  • http://seasofdreck.wordpress.com aaron m

    wow. that was pretty much garbage. on the other hand, it did remind me how good that underworld track is. speaking of which, did any of you guys listen to the new album, “barking” at all? p. good, imo.

    as much as i think this is a joke on palmeri’s behalf, i wouldn’t be at all surprised if this was taking himself seriously. now, it’s not the sampling that i have a problem with. dare i say some excellent things have come out of sampling. in fact, if it weren’t for sampling, hip hop wouldn’t exist. but this is really pretty much some of the most uncreative work i’ve ever heard, and regardless of whether or not it’s a joke, it’s still a complete waste of time.

    i mean, if it is a joke, just WHO is it a joke on? electronic music fans? emmure fans? underworld fans? the current electro scene? which, if it is, it fails on all fronts. in which case, the only group of people that i can see it taking a stab at is hip hop, but if that were true, it would be a huge failure as well, considering that it contains no rapping and emmure are wiggers anyway.

    • cocksucker

      the irony of how your fans will eat all your shit up as long as your name is attached to it, and it doesn’t even have to be good, that’s the way i see this… so it’s not even trolling, just very unoriginal “point-making”?

      • http://seasofdreck.wordpress.com aaron m

        So basically what you’re saying is that this is just a “Yes. Our fans ARE that stupid!”?

        • cocksucker

          yeah, pretty much

  • http://seasofdreck.wordpress.com aaron m

    QUICK! SOMEONE MAKE A JOKE ABOUT HOW EMMURE CONSTANTLY RIPS OFF THE ACACIA STRAIN! THE IMPENDING HILARITY IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO BEAR!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vince-Decker/100002225040320 Vince Decker

    i enjoyed reading the comments too. i really didnt feel like listening to that song though. that band and this dude have happened enough to me already. it just never gets old reading about how dumb he is. same with them damn juggalos

  • Dolemite

    You guys, Frankie is sad. Look.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWCWsjXgMek

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Coty-Watson/100001529609099 Coty Watson

      THIS.

      • lulwut

        I’m so glad you waited almost two months to chime in with that insightful comment. You truly have put a new light on the issue, and forever changed the way we all will think on not just this, but everything. You have opened a stairway to enlightenment, and for that we can never repay you. You truly are one of the greatest men to ever visit this planet.

        • alex

          THIS.

  • Baconator

    I don’t know what you guys are talking about; THIS SHIT IS AMAZING!

  • John

    I actually kind of like Emmure.

  • lucifer

    i don’t know about in the states, but here in the uk born slippy is a fucking classic that pretty much everyone under 40 knows back to front, so what this guy thinks he’s doing fucking with it, even for a joke, is beyond me.

  • http://seasofdreck.wordpress.com aaron m

    ha ha ha “the url you have requested could not be found”.

    PLEASE SAY THAT SOMEONE SAVED THE MP3.

  • KMFCM

    yeaaaaah, that song where they say “boy” a lot of times

  • ChubbsDaHubbs

    I am a pretty big fan of Emmure, tbh. However, I need to ask- WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS THAT? god fucking damn, Frankie. If you’re not trolling, you really shit the bed on that one.

  • demps

    Bein’ honest here, Emmure is a guilty pleasure of mine… since I heard GTTG mad years ago when I was a naive child just taking my first steps into the world of heavy ass music… and I even went so far as to think to myself “LOL @ TAS tryna fuck wit Emmure”… that is, before I actually took the time to listen to TAS and read the brilliant brutality that comes from Vince’s loins… but this shit… like… if Frankie isn’t trolling, and this delusional fuck is headlining over bands like All Shall Perish and Ghost Inside? God damn. I thought Lady Gaga was a fucking pop artist, not a deathcore vocalist. ffs.