I like reading bad reviews. (I enjoy a crucifixion. I don’t know, maybe I was Roman in a past life.), but I really, really hate writing them. An old job I had used to consist of reviewing live shows and local, unsigned bands, and it was one of the most soul-crushing things I’ve ever had to do. I have a conscience. I don’t like completely annihilating something someone has spent so much time on. Something they put their heart and soul into. It’s generally why I stick to reviewing things that I’ve enjoyed and defending my reasons for that enjoyment. Maybe my enthusiasm will help sway someone’s mind.

That being said, I’m not going to feel obliged to write a good review for the hell of it. That sucks.

So. I got sent a couple records recently. I wasn’t too enthusiastic about them, and figured I would just let them fall by the wayside. Then I felt guilty about that. Good grief. It’s such a passive thing, though. Just man up and give an answer/ review, right? I think it’s better to be acknowledged, even in a negative light, rather than  be full-on ignored. So here are the two reviews I’ve been putting off for a while.

On the bright side, they’re quite the study in opposites: Turkish hardcore vs. Californian power metal.

Nitro – We Are Nitro

No, you’re not. There already exists a Nitro.( Quick side note: Dear Turkish bands, you must learn to Google, because, hey,guess what? There’s already another Pentagram as well.Search engines are the simplest way to avoid lawsuits, confusion, and even some cruel laughter.) And it seems as though this Nitro is trying too hard to keep up with what’s popular, in the most predictable way imaginable — with barked out lyrics and thudding drums. The band’s energy and enthusiasm is great, but every song sounds like it belongs on a Punk-o-Rama compilation. The last couple of tracks do start to branch out a little band, and the band does manage to sneak a few catchy thrash hooks in there, but even those get lost in the parade of songs that all utilize the exact same beat. I know exactly the audience for this record, and yeah, they’d probably love it, but that’s the thing. It seems cheap. Branch out, do something that doesn’t sound exactly like what every other dive bar band is doing.

(2 out of 5 horns)

WildeStarr – Arrival

Metal more power than ethereal, WildeStarr sort of reminds me of old Wicked Sensation. I have my soft spot for overly epic, indescribably cheesy music, but other than having a woman hit those Tobias Sammet high notes (which isn’t exactly a revolution in this genre), I don’t think I could differentiate this from any other group. It delivers exactly what is expected with no surprises; bellowing vocals and galloping riffs book-ended by synth solos.

(2 out of 5 horns)

-LF