Editorials

PROGRESSIVE POLITICS: WHO IS JON HUNTSMAN?

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If you’ve completed high school history, chances are you’ve heard some talk about “progressive politics” (Bull-Moose, if you know what I mean). Most of us have probably heard of so-called “progressive politicians,” but when it comes to the pivotal issues, the things that really matter, like which bands they listened to in high school, many of them seem just as uninspired as their more conservative competition.

Isn’t it about time America had a truly progressive presidential candidate? Recent Utah governor Jon Huntsman seems to think so. After resigning in February from his Obama-appointed post of foreign ambassador to China, rumors of his presidential candidacy began to surge like a black mage’s whirlwind spell. Even more than that, bits about Huntsman’s “epic” past began to surface, and that soft-spoken politician began to appear all the more mystical.

Known to some as the guy who bestowed Dream Theater Day upon Utah’s unsuspecting public (pic above), Huntsman dropped out of high school to play keyboards in his band Wizard. That’s right: Wizard.

Furthermore, Huntsman is kind of proggy for a Republican: He’s for civil unions, healthcare expansion, and environmental regulations, for example. Some of his speeches even run over twenty minutes! Dream Theater would approve. Oh wait, they sort of do.

His progressive taste may not be enough alone to earn him my vote in the 2012 election, but I look forward to the synth shreds and four-part harmonies I’m sure he’ll be bringing to the campaign trail.

-BS

Get cheap talk and other pompous bullshit every day from Ben Shanbrom’s Broken Sticks.

 

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