My iTunes decided to define Michael Monroe’s Sensory Overdrive as indie rock, which is just wrong. Indie rock makes me think of like… wait, I don’t even know anymore. Pavement? The Postal Service? Do those count? My college roommate would listen to all that stuff so any knowledge I have is very much secondhand. Anyway, after a twelve-year hiatus, Hanoi Rocks put out one of their best releases with Street Poetry in 2007 and a year or so after that proclaimed they were done for good. Mr. Monroe and co. quite irked me with that news before I realized this is a band we’re talking about. “For good,” rarely means forever so I still have hope. But, eh I’m also still hoping for a Guns n’ Roses reunion with Axl Rose, so take that as you may. I’m either highly optimistic or stupidly naïve.

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Holy shit, are we really on our tenth episode already?? Host Eli Shaika thought he’d make Cooking Contaminated #10 extra special, so in what will undoubtedly go down as the most truly BRUTAL episode in Cooking Contaminated history, he invited Rich Hoak (Brutal Truth, Total Fucking Destruction) to share his recipe for gunpowder-flavored PIG’S HEAD! Shenanigans ensue. WATCH.

Best line ever: “Don’t put too much hot water on the eyeballs, man, or they’ll explode.”

Enjoy, and as always, find the recipe after the jump:

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The arrival of a new Earth Crisis album is a big deal for anyone who loves metallic hardcore. After all, the band — led by vocal straight-edge vegan activist Karl Buechner — was one of the sound’s most popular purveyors throughout the 90s. To The Death, their 2009 reunion record for Century Media, made clear that the group’s style and voice had not mellowed with age. And now, we’re just mere days away from Earth Crisis’ latest salvo, calculatingly titled Neutralize The Threat. Lucky you, though, as MetalSucks readers are getting first crack at hearing the entire record with this exclusive album stream!

If you like what you hear — and I know you will — be sure to pre-order your copy on CD and/or vinyl from CM Distro.

-GS

BIG CHOCOLATE is a busy motherfucker. When he’s not touring as a DJ, remixing his own and other people’s songs, or working on Commissioner (with Mitch from Suiside Silence), he does a one-man band called DISFIGURING THE GODDESS. They’ve been around for a few years, but just dropped their debut full-length Circle of Nine. It’s definitely brutal as fuck, but I am not sure whether they are a death metal or deathcore band!! I think it is really important to label music, so I am asking for your help on this one.

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I have a serious case of the Mondays. Happy Humpday! TGIF! Whatever, I don’t give a fuck. Here are today’s hottest new music streams:

• Brooklyn Vegan is streaming “By Which We’re Cemented” from Flourishing’s bruising new effort The Sum of All Fossils. Churning, roiling, intense and ugly are just some of the adjectives I’d use to describe Flourishing’s brand of post-hardcore bludgeoning. The band’s first full-length album will come out on August 2nd via The Path Less Traveled Records.

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If you’re immediately struck by MonstrO’s musical resemblance to Torche, don’t be: that’s ex-Torche guitarist Juan Montoya’s electro-fried “stoner pop” tones you’re hearing in the Atlanta quartet’s debut song “Anchors Up!”

And it sounds damn good, doesn’t it? I wasn’t among the Torche fanboys that endlessly bemoaned Montoya’s exit from the group in 2008, but there’s no question that Montoya was integral to Torche’s sound and the band hasn’t been the same since. Good news, then, that he’s formed a new band as his musical outlet with an equally compelling cast of characters: bassist Kyle Sanders (Skrew, Bloodsimple, brother of Mastodon’s Troy Sanders), drummer Bevan Davies (Danzig, Comes With the Fall), and vocalist and guitarist Charlie Suarez (Sunday Driver, no relation to Gary).

MonstrO have already recorded their self-titled debut with producer and Alice in Chains vocalist William DuVall, who was Bevan Davies’ bandmate in Madfly and Comes With the Fall. Expect it on September 6th via Vagrant Records.

-VN

The Nikki Sixx v. Poison battle has gone to such ridiculous heights I’m starting to think Nikki and Bret Michaels are in cahoots and had this whole thing planned out from the very beginning. It’s certainly gotten them a ton of press, right? Who am I kidding… let’s not give either of these dunderheads too much credit for doing anything other than writing good songs 20 years ago.

There’s been so much yammering back and forth since the Motley / Poison tour was announced this Spring that I honestly can’t keep track of who said what anymore. But in the latest tidbit Nikki once again slams Poison as a second-place contender for this tour (emphasis added):

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We can argue ’round the campfire ’til the sun comes up about this burning question, or we can just consult the scientific study sent in by MS reader Liam [via Ian Christe's Twitter]: which Slayer album is the most evil???

By looking at the lyrics of each Slayer album and counting occurrences of the words “blood,” “evil,” death,” “hell,” “kill,” “satan” and “war” relative to the number of lines in each song (so longer songs don’t have an advantage), the folks at Hirschkraft.com have done their study and the results are in: Hell Awaits is the most evil! Unsurprisingly, the band’s evil quotient trends downward as their career progresses (although World Painted Blood makes a nice showing). I remember seeing a similar study done for Metallica lyrics a couple of years back but I can’t find it; post it in the comments if you have it.

The Hirschkraft study also looks at evilness as measured by who wrote the music and who wrote the lyrics. What I’d really like to see is some sort of measure of evilness based on the music itself: numbers of tri-tones, chromatic riffs, some function of evilness as speed, etc. I have faith in you, Internutz, it can be done!

Now I ask you, oh faithful MS reader: which Slayer album is the most evil?? Tell us in the comments, natch.

-VN

Cats like MetalSucks too, have ya heard?

That’s a damn cute kitty clawing his “Completely Unreadable” MetalSucks t-shirt, available here along with an assortment of other designs. Longtime MS reader Conor Schaefer also happens to be in the photo.

For sending in this pic as part of our ongoing Show Us Your MetalSucks contest, we’ve sent this kitty (and Conor) a box o’ goodies from the MS Mansion including CDs, posters, stickers, and whatever else we have around that we think might tickle your balls. You, too, can be the recipient of such a box of fun; just send in a pic of yourself donning your MS wear.

There are probably very few metal fans that don’t have an immediate, vehement reaction to In Flames. Either they’re devoted and loyal, stubbornly sticking to the belief that the band can do no wrong; or they’re self-righteously angry, declaring that In Flames has let them down too many times, musically speaking. If there’s a middle ground, I’ve yet to encounter it. Everyone has an opinion and is more than happy to share it.

Well, so does guitarist Björn Gelotte. He and I had a nice chat recently, covering everything from the group’s new album, Sounds of a Playground Fading, to the internet, to loud family members, to Star Trek. Read the full interview after the jump!

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Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

We didn’t play “Guess Next Month’s Cover and Win a Free Decibel Shirt” last month because it got out really early that it was a two-dimensional rendering of Anthrax talking chin Scott Ian, spotlighting an in-depth examination of the darker side of underground metal comics. If we had our way (i.e., more money), Henry & Glenn Forever mastermind Tom Neely would sketch up a jaw-dropping gatefold cover every month. Alas, this month, it’s back to simple pretty pictures of your fave extreme music centerfolds. To curb the crushing disappointment, here’s a rare, possibly-helpful-but-probably-not hint: only one person (man, duh) is featured on the September cover. Guess away.

-AB

Decibel’s August 2011 issue features Anthrax, Arch Enemy, Tombs, Origin, Weekend Nachos, and an awesome Wormrot flexi disc . That issue is available here, but why not get a full subscription to ensure you never miss an issue?

The prize for last week’s photo caption was simply a nebulous “free box ‘o metal shit” from the MS Mansion but it proved to be one of the most popular photo caption contests in weeks… what does that say about you guys? Fascination with the unknown? Trust in Vince Neilstein to take care of you? Beats me, but I promise that “meemperor”, the winner with the very first caption submitted, will definitely be happy with his or her bounty:

• “Jewdas Priest”

These week Relapse Records is bestowing upon us two copies of the Hail! Hornet album Disperse the Curse, out July 19th and available for pre-order here. Alls ya gotta do is leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (suggested by Sergeant D!). Remember to use a real email address (or post it with your comment if you’re using FB Connect).

OK WWE, you got me. I fell for it hook line and sinker, I actually thought that last week CM Punk had gotten away with speaking his mind about the sad state of WWE’s product live on RAW. I can’t believe they had me with the whole “CM Punk has been suspended” shtick. I have to admit that this story line is pretty good and for the first time in a very long time I am actually interested in seeing where they take this.

It did however get me thinking about whether or not anyone has actually gotten away with doing something unscripted live on Vince McMahon TV. After a little research I did find some really interesting stuff. Some stories about things that happened on televison but some other stories about fights between wrestlers that happened backstage. Here are some of the interesting tidbits I dug up. I tried to double reference these stories to weed out the ones that were total bullshit:

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Adam Jarvis of Misery Index!

Waitaminutehere… I didn’t even know PxDx had parted ways with now-former drummer Brian Harvey. But, there you have it… Adam Jarvis is the new Pig Destroyer drummer, as posted on Scott Hull’s Facebook and picked up by Metal Injection. Whether this means Jarvis has left Misery Index isn’t clear, but it doesn’t seem likely: Pig Destroyer shows are few and far between, making their drum throne exactly the kind of gig that another active drummer could handle.

I’m not nearly the Pig Destroyer fan Axl is, but I know that Axl and the legions of PxDx die-hards will be quite excited with this news, as it probably means recording for a new record will soon begin. Expect a new Pig Destroyer album in early 2012 via Relapse Records.

-VN

When Axl and I were kids we would get together with our friends for WWF slumber parties in which the main event was Wrestlemania or Summer Slam on Pay-Per-View, and damn, do you remember how EXPENSIVE those things seemed when you had to pool together months’ worth of allowance for just one broadcast?? Highway robbery. Several pillow fights in which we dressed up as our favorite wrestlers (no homo) and a few bowls of popcorn later we’d always tape the event as we watched it, and in the ensuing weeks one of our favorite things to do was re-watch body slams, pile drivers and various wrestlers’ signature moves using the groundbreaking Slo-Mo technology on our brand new VCR. Watching those brutal combos in choppy frame-by-frame slow motion provided endless hours of entertaintment!

Slo-Mo has sure come a long way since then; HD broadcasts of sports events regularly show crystal clear slow motion replays, and now a company called Ultraslo has a “high-speed” / slo-mo camera that can shoot at a whopping 3,000 frames for second. To demo their new product, Ultraslo put together a video of a snare hit in ultra-slo-mo (3,000 fps) and another of a cymbal hit at almost-ultra-slo-mo (1,000 fps) and, uh… WOW. That’s all I can muster. The snare hit is cool and all, but the cymbal hit might be more impressive despite being shot at slower rate.

Be sure to thank Metal Injection for digging these clips up.

-VN

Of all the buzzed-about solo instrumental acts to hit the scene since cheap recording technology and the Internet collided in a giant explosion of output, Cloudkicker seems to be one of the most universally lauded. Sure, everyone’s got access to said technology and the Internet, but it’s the songs that make the act, silly, and Cloudkicker’s got tons of ‘em. Cloudkicker is also a safe bet to put on in situations where you want something heavy but you’re surrounded by non-metalhead friends, i.e. at a party, in the car, etc., making him — Ben Sharp, that is — a real favorite of this here writer.

The latest new Cloudkicker jam posted on Got-Djent.com doesn’t appear to be from a new album, but who knows; Sharp could just be teasing us, as it’s been something like 9 months since Beacons was released (an eternity in solo instrumentalist time). It’s an entirely acoustic jam, and frankly it really isn’t metal at all, but it’s entirely consistent with the Cloudkicker sound — Cloudkicker’s Cloudkickerness, if you will, or haeccity — and it’s not difficult to imagine this song arranged with electric instruments. Stream “It’s inside me, and I’m inside it” below.

It’s inside me, and I’m inside it. by Ben Sharp

-VN

A few questionable signings aside, there’s no denying that Sumerian Records is one of the few modern metal record labels with real, actual A&R and artist development, and one of the only labels that routinely takes chances on far left-of-center acts that wouldn’t stand a chance elsewhere. It’s actually pretty remarkable that wonky instrumental metal is getting such a big push in 2011, some two decades after the sub-genre’s peak. And if there’s any label that can effectively promote this kind of music to the masses it’s Sumerian, whatwith their label+agency+management all-in-one business model and an incredibly strong brand identity of what it means to be on Sumerian (ya know, Sumeriancore, more or less). The only other label with a similar forward-thinking setup is Prosthetic, and hey, lookit, they do well with lots of oddball prog acts too.

Case in point: on June 28th Sumerian released not one but two solo instru-metal records. We gave a fair amount of coverage to Evan Brewer’s solo bass album Alone — a solo bass album fer chrissakes! that such a thing even exists as a signed act is awesome — but the other release, All Shall Perish shredder Francesco Artusato’s shreddy shredsterpiece of shred, Chaos and the Primordial, went a bit overlooked. It’s a killer album, natch — All Shall Perish didn’t import this guy all the way from Italy [via Berklee College of Music] for nothing — so all you guitarists and wannabe guitarists and ex-guitarists best get to checking out the album’s title track above and at the Francesco Artusato Project’s Facebook page and ordering the album here. ‘Cause every shredder has to attach “Project” to their name when releasing a solo record, duh, this is like the #1 cardinal rule of shred records.

-VN

Welcome to the latest edition of “Freeloader,” in which we review albums that you don’t have to feel like a douche for downloading for free. Today Satan Rosenbloom checks out After Oblivion’s Vultures EP.

It is part of Music Criticism 101 to hold up originality as a virtue. Even if a band doesn’t possess any of it, a positive review of said band will often acknowledge why the band’s other qualities make up for their lack of originality. That’s all fine and good, but we can all think of plenty of bands that embrace a well-established sound so fully and energetically that it makes tired clichés relevant again.

My new favorite rehash metal band is Bosnian-Herzegovinaian quartet After Oblivion. These guys sound like Death. A whole lot. They acknowledge it in their press materials; they even played Death tribute shows to gear up for the writing/recording of Vultures. And in many ways, Vultures feels like a tribute EP. The band’s Chuck Schuldiner is singer/guitarist Adnan Hatić, who screams in that same parched upper register of late-era Schuldiner, and solos with a similar mix of elegance and shred. Rhythm guitars work in the Arabian modes and harmonies of Symbolic-era Death. Listen closely and you’ll hear bass slides that recall Steve DiGiorgio’s fretwork on Individual Thought Patterns. The similarities are uncanny.

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The release date of T.R.A.M.’s debut album Lingua Franca via Sumerian Records has been delayed, but that hasn’t stopped the label from releasing 4 minutes of an unmastered version of the track “Endeavor,” picked up by our fellow T.R.A.M. enthusiasts at Metal Injection. The band, of course, features Tosin Abasi and Javier Reyes of Animals as Leaders, Adrian Terrazas formerly of The Mars Volta and Eric Moore of Suicidal Tendencies. We’ve been excited about this band ever since we saw them at SXSW, and while the Metal Injection-filmed live footage of that show was super-stellar it’s great to finally hear a studio version of something.

And it sounds exactly like I hoped it would. You can tell there’s a basic structure to the song — Section A, Section B, Section A, etc — but that within each section there’s no set script, and a pre-determined band member is free to improvise within the given framework. T.R.A.M. isn’t really so much a metal band as they are a jazz band with distorted guitars and shredding, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong that; the metal world needs to be turned upside down and shaken once in a while, and #2 Tosin Abasi on our list of the Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists is the perfect guy to do it.

-VN