Not only does the title “Deodorant Can’t Fix Ugly” make me laugh every time I see it, and not only have I been saying it people for most of the summer (seriously), but it also happens to be my favorite song on Iwrestledabearonce’s new album, Ruining it for Everybody. And now it’s streaming right here!

The first half of the song is typically whacky IWABO stuff, but it’s the second half of the song, when it slows down and becomes really epic, that gets me. And then, at the end — A CHOIR! GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH! And according to an interview with guitarist Stephen Bradley that accompanies the track debut, the song is “all about organized religion and questioning things as opposed to following them blindly,” which I did not previously realize. So now that choir takes on extra meaning/hilarity, and feels like more than just something random the band did ’cause it sounds cool.

Check out “Deodorant Can’t Fix Ugly” here. Ruining it for Everybody comes out July 26 on Century Media.

-AR

San Diego Comic-Con, which is currently considered the nerd convention of the year, is now underway. That means that nearly every studio, network, video game publisher, comic book publisher, toy company, and who knows what else have a presence there right now, and are currently teasing fans with all their big upcoming products, from the new Spider-Man movie to Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel to friggin’ Twilight.

But who gives a hoot about any of that? Mike Judge showed up to preview the return of Beavis and Butt-Head, and that preview is now available for your viewing pleasure below. There are some slight differences to the old show — the animation seems a little cleaner, and Beavis’ voice sounds a teensy bit different than it did back in the day — but on the whole, it appears to be the same old idiocy with which we all fell in love so many years ago. Sigh.

The best part comes after the three-minute mark, when we get a taste of what B&B will be doing now instead of critiquing music videos — watching crap like Jersey Shore. Needless to say, their take on America’s most obnoxious reality show gets an A++++++ WDBWA.

Still no word yet on a premiere date for the new episodes, but it should be soonish. In the meantime, Collider has a detailed recap of Mike Judge’s entier panel at Comic-Con.

-AR

(photo by Seth Ballentine)

It’s been just a little over a year since Isis called it quits, but Aaron Turner has managed to keep busy (which isn’t out of the ordinary): he put out an album with Mamiffer (the band he’s in with his wife, Faith Coloccia) as well as starting up a new record label, SIGE. He’s also been working on posthumous Isis releases as well as reissuing the band’s long out-of-print live albums (heavily culling from Oceanic and Panopticon material, and cool enough to be streamed by Metal Sucks). So even though his highly influential and beloved group is done, he’s not coasting in early retirement (or getting a day job and riding off into the sunset, telling neighborhood kids about the glory days when he toured all over the country for a decade in motherfuckin’ ISIS).

While Turner isn’t know for his stodgy release habits (he’s also a member of House of Low Culture and avant-garde metal supergroups Greymachine and Old Man Gloom), Isis looms largest, and Turner not only seems at peace with that but enthusiastic about it, thankful for the people who have supported him and his art over the years. At the same time, he doesn’t have any reservations about how it ended or that it did, but simply accepts it as the end to a chapter in his life, albeit a chapter he has no problem reminiscing about. In a recent conversation with Metal Sucks, Aaron discussed the demise of his most well-known band, future Isis releases, and how running SIGE compares with running Hydra Head.

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Last Thursday we offered our readership a chance to win the most excellent prize of a Wayne’s World DVD, so naturally today we’re announcing our three winners. And they are:

• Christopher Ott: “Guess the owner didn’t realize what the car wash meant when they said his car sure could use Abbath.” [Editor's note: L-O-fucking-L, amirite?]
• Sacajawea: “Dimmu Fourthgear”
• nonameisfinetoo: “Imp my ride.”

Good jobs, kids… enjoy the DVD, especially longtime commenter / multiple-Caption-Contest-winner Sacajawea (who claims to have never seen Wayne’s World, as unfathomable as that may sound).

As you probably already know, Megadeth released a special 25th anniversary reissue of their classic album Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying? last week. To celebrate, we’ve got two beautiful hologram flats of the original artwork signed by Mr. Dave Mustaine himself. To win, just leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below. Remember to use a real email address (or post it along with your comment if you’re using FB Connect).

Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

By now you know that our latest Decibel tee pays direct homage to Chuck Schuldiner’s unfuckwithable Death. Here are a few words with the shirt’s designer, gnarly underground visual artist Aye Jay .

What inspired you to pitch a Death-themed Decibel shirt?

My friend Aaron Horkey — who is much more of a metal authority and much better artist — got me reading the mag, so I was inspired to get into contact. I’ve done a series of comedy-meets-metal/punk T-shirts with Shirts and Destroy (think Larry David + Motörhead = Larrydavhead), so when I started talking to Decibel, it only seemed natural to make a shirt along those same lines, especially since the letters are so similar between the two. Also, I thought it would be funny to have the reaper reading the mag, ’cause what is he really gonna read in his downtime? Rolling Stone?

What is it about the Death logo that makes it iconic so many years after the fact?

Much like the band, the logo is timeless, raw and knocks the brain around a bit. My only regret is not getting the spider webs from the older version of the logo in there.

Click to read more…

Yes yes y’all, it’s time for another round of bands that various readers have sent us. Today’s theme, which I chose for no reason other than my own amusement, is bands with really ridiculous names, even by ridiculous metal band name standards. And, hey, guess what? Two of ‘em are actually pretty good! Crazy, right?

Join me on this magical musical adventure, won’t you?

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Oh, this makes me miss that kid Revrant so much! Anyone remember him?

ANYWAY, Disturbed are a terrible band, so it’s hard not to perk up when you find out that vocalist David Draiman recently said the following to an Idaho radio station:

“We don’t know what we’re doing… We’re not gonna do our own thing either. This is gonna be the last tour that the American people get to see us in for a while, if not indefinitely. We have some things going on internally, we have some personal things going on. So I don’t know. It’s hard to tell.”

Click to read more…

Hey, so remember when just last week Chuck Billy said there was gonna be a tour this fall with Anthrax, Testament, Overkill, and Death Angel?

Well, yeah, turns out Overkill ain’t doing that tour.

From Metal Insider:

Click to read more…

Why, it was just last week that Rwake announced the release of their first new album in four years, Rest, and now there’s already a new track online! It’s called “It Was Beautiful, But Now It’s Sour,” and you can check it out right here.

Let me rephrase that: CHECK IT OUT RIGHT NOW, DUMMY.

Those of you who have been waiting for this song as I have can rest assured, it’s not disappointing in the slightest. In fact, it’s JUST the song I wanted to hear from this band. This album is gonna rule, I can tell.

Headbang (slowly) here, then discuss in our comments section. Rest comes out September 27 on Relapse.

-AR

If MetalSucks were left in charge of the Oxford English Dictionary we might just post a picture of Valient Thorr as the definition for “fun.” Everything we know about Valient Himself and his troop of merry metal warriors continues to perpetuate the image that Valient Thorr really do pretty much nothing in life other than drink beer and play rock music, with the occasional good deed thrown in for cosmic kharma. The brand new music video for “Sleeper Awakes” is no different; no kidneys were removed or implanted in the making of this video, but plenty of beer was swilled and lotsa rock music was played. VT just makes us feel good in that special spot, like a special drug that takes you to a far away land where nothing matter but beer, rock and having a good time (maybe that’s what life is actually all about and we’re just missing out). As always, the band has produced another entertaining clip that should leave all ho-hum videomakers jealous; watch the world premiere of “Sleeper Awakes” above. Better enjoy life today ’cause ya never know, you could be dead tomorrow.

Since experiencing Valient Thorr live is the very epitomy of experiencing Valient Thorr at all, make sure you catch them on tour in the U.S. this August!! We personally guarantee you will have fun. Dates after the jump.

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Who said those lovable goons over at The Number Of The Blog were good for nothin’? Certainly not us and certainly not with the “Morning Wood” series on Danish epic metallers Mercenary they’ve been running this week. Odin knows we love us some Mercenary here at the Mansion, and TNOTB’s morning posts highlighting one classic Mercenary track per day have been providing us with a fine way to get our mornings started. Mercenary are kinda like Mamoun’s… never a bad idea.

If you ask the peanut gallery (me and Axl) you’ll find that latter day Mercenary material isn’t quite up to the caliber of their earlier stuff; it’s the old cliche, but it’s true. Before half the band left and before they started leaning more towards their power side, Mercenary were an unfuckwithable mix of power, epic, and brute force in that special kind of way that only seems to be possible if you grew up drinking European water. Here’s “World Hate Center” from 2004′s 11 Dreams, a prime example of now-vintage Mercenary done right.

-VN

MetalSucks Maniac King Cheezit sent us the below video of the EOL Robot Band (whomever/whatever that is) covering Marilyn Manson’s “Beautiful People,” and while I’m aware that this is not the hardest song to play (King Cheezit takes the video as “proof that nu metal bands aren’t good enough to play their own instruments”), this still makes me anxious. I mean, it really is only a matter of time until my computer is blogging on me.

-AR

I’m a big fan of John Henry, the vocalist for Darkest Hour, and all that he adds to that band’s music. (I like screaming. What can I say?) That being said, I’m also a huge fan of the other four dudes in the band, and will pretty much never complain about a chance to listen to the awesome dual shred brought by The Two Mikes (that would be Schleibaum and Carrigan).

And so I embrace the newly-released instrumental version of DH’s latest offering, The Human Romance. In a statement announcing this version of the album’s (very sudden) unveiling, Mr. Schleibaum proclaims it to be for “geeks, shredders, stem junkies and Karaoke fanatics;” I guess I fall into at least one, and possibly two, of those categories.

ANYWAY, you can buy the instrumental edition of the album on iTunes for just eight bucks, so get on that shit. And don’t forget that Darkest Hour are part of the MetalSucks-sponsored Summer Slaughter tour, which starts TOMORROW, and also features The Black Dahlia Murder, Whitechapel, Dying Fetus, Six Feet Under, Fleshgod Apocalypse, Oceano, As Blood Runs Black, Powerglove, and Within the Ruins. Get dates here.

-AR

Hey, remember that awesome tour with Between the Buried and Me and Job for a Cowboy that we sponsored earlier this year? Well, I guess JFAC decided to prank BTBAM on the last night of the tour (and fairly common tradition), and now video of that event has surfaced. And by “and now,” I mean, “back in May, although it’s only just now coming to your attention.”

ANWAY, I thought you might enjoy said video of said prank, so it’s below for your viewing pleasure. It’s not as good as Kvelertak’s end-of-tour-prank on Converge from last year, but it’s still fun.

-AR

Thanks: ton0290

Cosmo Lee of Invisible Oranges unearthed these phone calls that Glen Benton made to evangelical radio personality Bob Larson back in 1992, and, as Lee writes, they’re a good reminder that Benton was once “ the poster boy for everything the religious right hates about heavy metal,” and not a guy who “ loves motorcycles, wrote a record about his divorce (Till Death Do Us Part), and records anti-Christian music with guitarist Ralph Santolla, a practicing Catholic.”

But, mostly, they’re a reminder that Glen Benton is just a big ol’ silly-face — in fact, I’d argue that he’s only marginally less silly than Marilyn Manson. I mean, listen to the voice he’s using in these calls, and the things he’s saying, and keep in mind (as though you could forget) that Benton is the dude who burned an inverted cross into his forehead (Benton into mirror every morning: “Still a good decision! No regrets here, friend.”), and the whole thing seems pretty ridiculous. “I’M GOING TO DEAL WITH YOU,” Benton says in a bizarrely sing-songy voice, and then he breaks into an “evil” cackle that would not have seemed out of place on an episode of He-Man. So, yeah, this is way entertaining, but it’s still pretty ridiculous.

Check out more at Invisible Oranges.

-AR.

Music industry pundit Bob Lefsetz was among the first public figures to extoll Spotify’s virtues; he’s been raving about the service for at least three years, ever since he got a beta invite to the European version and became hooked. I don’t always agree with the guy on everything, but when it comes to Spotify and the future of music with regards to streaming he’s always right on the money.

A huge number of MS readers expressed hesitation when Spotify officially launched in the U.S. last week, and many even flat out rejected the idea of a streaming service. Lefsetz recently published a point-by-point response to pretty much every angle of criticism Spotify is and will be facing, so rather than hammer the same old points I’ve been driving home at MetalSucks for the past year or so I figured I’d re-post Lefsetz’ breakdown. Comparisons to Pandora and Rhapsody, mobile access, streaming vs. piracy, Apple… it’s all there. Here we go:

Click to read more…

We still don’t know the title or the release date of the new Landmine Marathon album, Yes we do. It’s called Gallows, and it’s coming out September 27 on Prosthetic. but now, thanks to the magic of technology, we do have live footage of the band performing two new cuts off that eventual release: “Three Snake Leaves” (which I assume has something to do with this, in case you’re curious) and “Cutting Flesh and Bone,” which you can check out below. As is so often the case with these kinds of videos, the audio quality isn’t quite good enough to make any real judgments, but it does sound pretty Landmine Marathon-y, which is never a bad thing.

So here’s “Three Snake Leaves”…

…and “Cutting Flesh and Bone” is after the jump. Hopefully we’ll have some more concrete news about the band’s new offering soon.

Click to read more…

Last year (and the year before) I got way too busy with this thing called life and missed out on a lot of quality music. I am here to rectify the error of my ways, month by month.

Here are the releases from the first half of the year 2011 that I missed for whatever reason that got under my skin, burrowed their way into my brain, made my ears bleed, or simply tickled my unmentionables:

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The Dir En Grey concert experience is awesome, but also kinda annoying to petty olds like me who struggle to ignore the nerd-ass anime nerds who follow Japanese bands. Their Juggalo-style wardrobe/flair is no biggie and their interest in foreign stuff is a welcome post-internet phenomenon, true dat. But I guess they seem lame once you consider that cutesy JP stuff (like Hello Kitty) and intense J-Horror stuff (like Dir En Grey) are expressions of the society’s festishization of childhood and subconscious panic at an increasingly homogenous, aged population, respectively. I didn’t conceive of that stuff as a teenager and I would certainly laugh if fans at an overseas Tool show dressed like Transformers and hugged Cabbage Patch Kids during “Stinkfist.” So yeah.

Buttt my beef seems dumb and counterproductive — there’s no wrong reason for rocking, right? — so on Friday I asked DEG guitarists Kaoru and Die about perceptions of their semi-penetrable new album Dum Spiro Spero; read their replies next week when the complete interview runs here on MetalSucks.net, the internet’s HQ for metal news, views, and commenters who must be huffing paint. For now, let’s nerd out on these kawaii Dir En Grey U.S. tourdates!

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As part of our coverage of this year’s Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival – currently winding its way through North America — we’re bringing you a series of “Rigged” columns in which several of the tour’s musicians take you on piece-by-piece guides of their current live rig setups. Check out what Machine Head’s Phil Demmel had to say about his super-sweet rig last week and what Unearth’s Buz McGrath uses in his current live set-up. Hatebreed are only appearing on three dates of this year’s tour, August 5th through 7th in Chicago, Detroit and Indianapolis. Here’s guitarist Wayne Lozinak on his rig:

What’s up MetalSucks readers? This is Wayne Lozinak from Hatebreed, and this is my live set-up.

Click to read more…