Here’s a not-at-all awful way to begin your week: Toxic Holocaust are now streaming their new album, Conjure and Command, in full right here. It has enough energy to kickstart your morning in a way that coffee, cocaine, or some combination thereof never could, so you pretty much wanna start listening to it right now. No, I do not care that your boss is standing right there. If he hears you listening to this, I imagine he’ll be too scared to do anything other than leave you alone for the rest of the week and hope you don’t come to work with an AK-47 in your bag.

I’m saying this is a darn good record.

Headbang here, then let us know what you think in the comments section below. Conjure and Command comes out tomorrow on Relapse. And lest ye forget, Toxic Holocaust are hitting the road for a headlining tour that some really awesome websites (ahem) happens to be sponsoring, and they have Holy Grail and Krum Bums along for the ride, so, yeah, only losers will miss those shows. Get dates after the jump!

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So, to review the ways in bass players let us down this week:

• Coheed and Cambria’s Michael Todd robbed a pharmacy.
• Nick Oliveri from Queens of the Stone Age/Kyuss held his girlfriend hostage in a four-hour standoff with a S.W.A.T. team.
• Jeroen Paul Thessling quit Obscura.

Hello wrestling fans! Last week I started a two part series on ‘Shoot’ fights (meaning real fights) that have happened in the scripted world of professional wrestling. But before I gt back into that madness, I wanted to tell you guys about how my bro and I wentand saw Ring of Honor last weekend in Richmond,Virginia. There was a huge, insane thunderstorm annihilating Richmond when the first bell rang, and I think that may have left a few of the performers stranded at the airport, so we ended up seeing alot of the same guys come out for more than one match. So that kind of sucked. Needless to say, I got hammered and had fun anyway.

Okay — now back to the shoot fights!

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Last week Relapse Records gave us two copies of the new Hail! Hornet album Disperse the Curse to give away; it comes out July 19th and is available for pre-order here. The winners are:

• Jared Oates: “19/M shredder seeking Nu Metal princess for serious relationship or show buddy. Must be HIV+ and a fan of Nu Era.”
• Titus: ”Don’t worry ladies! The gas mask is just for show. My other Axe is a body spray”

JARED, if you’re reading this, send an email to vince [at] metalsucks [dot] net to claim your prize since you neglected to provide us with an email address; usually that’s grounds for disqualification but your entry was just too good to leave out.

You read that headline right: this week we’re giving away THREE copies of the infamous classic Wayne’s World on DVD in honor of the outdoor screening Epix hosted of Wayne’s World in NYC this week as part of their Free-for-All summer movie series. Is there really anyone reading this that doesn’t already know what to do next? Leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (suggested by reader Brandon Miller). Remember to use a real email address (or post it with your comment if you’re using FB Connect).

In an apparent effort to redeem bass players for their transgressions throughout this week, Madball four-stringer Hoya Roc has posted the above photo, which is apparently Dani Filth being restrained by a security guard at France’s recent L’ez Arts Sceniques Festival, although it’s not a good photo so who knows.

Roc also posted a comment with the pic, which suggests he hates CoF as much as some of you guys do: “When metal fantasy goes wrong!! Haha cradle of filth singer gettin yoked up by security.” Alas, Roc does not say what Filth did to provoke the guard. Still, I’m sure this will bring some of you a little joy.

-AR

[via The PRP]

Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

Krallice may be polarizing in the metal community at large, but both Decibel (9 for Krallice, 9 for Dimensional Bleedthrough, 8 for Diotima) and MetalSucks (Colin Marston placing #15 on The Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists list) fall squarely on the positive side of that spectrum. Hence, we’re keeping the upward spiral spinning with this month’s Flexi disc, as the NY-based black-proggers deliver their distinctive take on Rorschach’s “Traditional” (order here). The timing’s particularly gnarly because—surprise, surprise—Rorschach’s 1993 crossover sensation Protestant is September’s Decibel Hall of Fame honoree. This gem’s in vibrant gold and white—not clear, as it may appear in the image—and unlike the other Rorschach in popular culture, it hasn’t been sullied by the dipshittery of Zack Snyder. Give it a spin.

Krallice “Traditional (originally by Rorschach)” (dB009) by Decibel Magazine

-AB

Decibel’s September 2011 issue also features Opeth, Toxic Holocaust, Sepultura, All Shall Perish, and Skeletonwitch. That issue is available here, but why not get a full subscription to ensure you never one of these awesome flexi discs?

Trendy Internet meme aside, there is really no other way to describe Dysrhythmia than “a lot like Dysrythmia;” they’re that singular in their sound.

So kudos to Invisible Oranges‘ Cosmo Lee (as always) for recognizing the band’s incredible talent and calling our attention to this high-quality footage of two brand new songs (the same ones captured at Union Pool back in March), shot at the sweaty show at the Silent Barn in Queens, NY that Kip W. and I attended this Spring. Drummer Jeff Eber’s parents were there too; talk about support, I’ve seen those two at every NYC show the band has played. The Silent Barn, as endearing as it is, ain’t exactly no high class joint (“brothel” would be a lot more accurate). Awesome!

In case you missed it, we named Dysrhythmia bassist Colin Marston as #15 on our list of the Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists. Those bass skills you see in the above video? Not even his primary instrument.

No word yet on a follow-up to 2009′s excellent Psychic Maps, but the rumor mill says 2012 is a good bet.

-VN

Awww, yeah. In case you don’t recall, MetalSucks recently offered MS Maniacs a chance to win an amazing, ONE OF A KIND, Silver Surfer-produced, Obscura vaporizer (above), with a retail value of $600 — and to sweeten the deal, we tossed in some copies of Obscura’s orgasm-inducingly good new album, Omnivium (out now on Relapse — order one here!), and some killer Obscura merch, too. What did fans have to do for a chance to win? Why, design weed smoking apparati that would be ideal for use in outer space (in keeping with the theme of Obscura’s album art for both Omniviumand Cosmogenesis), of course.

Now, clearly, vaporizing and metal are two subjects very close to the hearts of MetalSucks readers — and so we got a lot of great entries. But, alas, there could only be one grand-prize winner, and two runners-up. So after much deliberation, the members of Obscura themselves have now selected those champions! And the winning entries are pretty mind-blowing.

Check out said entries after the jump. And don’t forget that Obscura are on tour right now with Children of Bodom, Devin Townsend, and Septicflesh starting June 24. Get remaining dates here.

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This has to be the best-yet edition of “Ask the Artist,” the new video series in which our partners in crime at Metal Injection ask musicians to answer one uniform question. This week, the question is “How easy is it to score girls while on the road?” And, confirming what Sergeant D. has been telling us all along, the answer seems to be, “Not very easy at all.” Check it out:

Don’t forget that you can watch more episodes of “Ask the Artist” at Metal Injection.

-AR

Goreaphobia have a pretty interesting little story: the band formed in the late 80s, broke up in the early 90s, reunited in 2007, and then finally recorded their first full-length, Mortal Repulsion, in 2009. So, a slow start, but… glad to have them around in whatever capacity!

So. The band’s second full-legnth, Apocalyptic Necromancy, is coming out on August 9, and now The Deciblog is streaming a new track from that album, “Xurroth Rreeth N’ves Helm,” which apparently translates to “I Forgot the Fabric Softener.” Hm.

ANYWAY, it’s good stuff — dirty, nasty, old school deathrash. Guitarist John McEntee is, but of course, also in Incantation. Goreaphobia don’t really sound like Incantation, but I’m hoping the connection makes you feel that much more motivated to check this shit out.

Like I was sayin’ before, Apocalyptic Necromancy comes out August 9 on Dark Descent Records.

-AR

So here’s some awesome awesome awesome news: Textures have announced that their new album, Dualism, will be released by Nucelar Blast on September 27 in North America and September 23 pretty much everywhere else. And — BONUS! — they’ve unveiled the album art, in a gloriously large format which we can all appreciate:

So that’s obviously not your typical metal album cover, but Textures aren’t your typical metal band, and I still think it’s pretty sweet, so, yeah, whatevs.

And as if this wasn’t all enough to make you sexually aroused, don’t forget that Textures will be touring North America for the first time this fall, and with Periphery, The Human Abstract, and The Contortionist, no less. Get dates here.

-AR

<angrybloggerrant>Why oh why do labels sometimes not debut huge, gloriously hi-res versions of their bands’ album art? I’m aware that in the digital age, there are people who just don’t care that much about what the cover of their favorite band’s latest release looks like. But for those of us who do, it would be nice to be able to, like, see the art.</angrybloggerrant>

ANYWAY, here’s not a very large, not very hi-res version of the album cover for Warbringer’s upcoming Worlds Torn Asunder. It basically looks cool to me, although, again, I can’t really see it very well.

My prayers have been answered! Here’s the larger version. It does, indeed, look metal as fuck.

Worlds Torn Asunder comes out September 27 on Century Media.

-AR

The usual problems a band must endure from its drummer include tardiness, unfamiliarity with new material, no memory of old material, bringing their gf/driver everywhere, selling gear for food, non-ownership of drumsticks, car trouble, body odor, shortness, loss of one or more shoes, delirium, etc. But some drummer-issues can’t be predicted; for example, completion of the new Testament record has been delayed by drummer Paul Bostaph’s undisclosed injury. Singer Chuck Billy kinda explained Sunday in a radio interview:

Paul Bostaph is injured right now, so he couldn’t [work on] the record. We kind of put the record off a little while waiting for Paul. [Then] we found out he was not gonna be ready, so we brought on Gene Hoglan. Hoglan came in and crushed, killed the drums in about a week.

Awesome! Billy goes on to reveal the new album’s title, its other guest drummer, and the face-fuckingly awesome tour to be announced:

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Go cry in your pea soup if you missed the Hate Eternal/Origin/Vital Remains/Abysmal Dawn tour. Seriously: get a bowl of pea soup and fucking cry in it, for you are a loser. Vince and I caught the trek when it hit NYC last weekend, and holy shit, did all four bands CRUSH. I was excited about this line-up from the moment it was announced in March, and, boy oh boy, did the bands not let me down. All death metal tours should have a bill this good.

Of course, I have a special place in my heart for Hate Eternal, who I think are one of the best death metal bands of the 21st century, and whose most recent release, Phoenix Amongst the Ashes, remains pretty much unchallenged as THE death metal album of 2011, even in the face of really amazing competition from bands like Decapitated and The Black Dahlia Murder.

Now the band has re-teamed with director David Brodsky, who also helmed their clip for “Bringer of Storms”, for a video of Ashes‘ “Lake Ablaze.” The video certainly seems to be an aesthetic cousin of the “Storms” clip, which is to say, it’s another insanely intense visual experience which provides ample atmosphere for Rutan’s umpteenth lesson in how to castrate men using nothing but sound.

Phoenix Amongst the Ashes is out now on Metal Blade, and if you’re not listening to it, you are seriously depriving yourself of something special.

-AR

[via Noisecreep]

Life of Agony frontman Keith Caputo posted pictures of himself dressed and made up as a woman on his Facebook page months ago. At that time, while fascinated, I chose not to report on it because I didn’t think Caputo would want his name tossed about in public.

But I was wrong to make that assumption; these days he — excuse me, she — has become increasingly more vocal about her status as a transsexual, as reported by Metal Insider and Metal Injection. From Keith Caputo’s Twitter on July 7:

LOA has already gone in2 isolation & it’s got nothin 2 do w me transitioning. my boys love me regardless of my life choices!

and in case there was any doubt about the meaning of “transitioning:”

M2F transexuals like mê are the women who give up male privilege for femininity! Threaten the patriarchy! #TransLib#WhippingGirl

That clears it up, no? It’s important to note, though, that Caputo has not undergone a sex change operation (yet, anyway). HornsUpRocks intercepted this Tweet by Caputo a few days after the above:

Dying to make love to my lady. Haven’t seen her in 2 months. Dying to hold her & be held. Never letting her go. Just a few more days. The Art Of Love!

I can’t say I entirely understand what this all means for Keith’s sexual orientation, but does it really matter? Transexual, gender reassignment, gay, straight, tall, short, skinny, fat… we’re just happy to see Keith expressing his true self. It takes a tremendous amount of bravery, especially as a public figure, and double especially as a public figure in a genre as everything-phobic as metal, to challenge widely held standards of sexuality and gender. Congrats, Keith.

-VN

Last week I reported that Spotify would be launching in the U.S. The company instead launched a website soliciting email addresses for the trial, but didn’t actually launch. Until yesterday! AND IT IS THE BEST THING EVVVAAAARRRRRR!

While rumors fly around about how the service is “invite only,” that’s only half true: to use the free, ad supported model, as of right now you do need an invite. But if you’ve got a mere 5 or 10 bucks per month to plop down for motherfucking unlimited streaming music ANYTIME ANYWHERE, Spotify is yours for the taking right now! Do you people understand the significance of this? Music consumption will never be the same.

I signed up for the service immediately, and it does not disappoint! A few observations:

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Phew… that sucked, didn’t it? I assure you it sucked way more for us than it did for you. The monkeys worked full-time today unplugging, plugging, and rerouting wires to fix our broke ass site, and we commend them for a job well done. But have you ever been around a team of two dozen monkeys working furiously like that? The racket is really something.

Many of you speculated that we plugged in too many vaporizers at the Mansion last night resulting in today’s downtime, but alas, the truth is much less interesting and mundane. Let’s leave it at that.

We’ll see you Suckalos tomorrow. In the meantime, watch this video of the mosh pit ghost for the umpteenth time, because man, that shit is fucking hysterical!

Sorry about today’s downtime. We’ll be back to Sucking as soon as possible. In the meantime please enjoy this video of some kid being completely leveled in the mosh pit… by absolutely no one at all.

We first interviewed All Shall Perish guitarist Ben Orum just about a year ago, at the 2010 edition of Summer Slaughter; at the time, ASP were only just starting to write their new album, This is Where it Ends. Orum turned out to be one of those rare dudes who’s not only really talented, but is also genuinely super-nice — and now that we’ve finally gotten to hear Ends, we’re happy to report that it’s totally excellent. In other words, this seemed like a good time to pester Orum again.

Luckily, he was happy to oblige us with some silly, and not-so-silly, e-mail questions. The two interviews make interesting pre- and post- album companion pieces, I think, so if you haven’t done so already, go back and read our initial conversation with Orum; then, after the jump, get his thoughts on how Ends actually turned out, the songwriting process for various songs on the album, what fans can expect from ASP’s set at this summer’s Mayhem Festival, the futility of giving death metal fans condoms, and more.

And, oh yeah, we’ll have a special “Rigged” column penned by Orum’s co-guitarist in All Shall Perish, Francesco Artusato, sometime soon, so definitely keep your eyes peeled for that.

And now… the interview!

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It’s probably not overestimating things to state that Queensryche is kinda in the shit right now. Relatively speaking, of course. Not like Afghanistan- or Michael Todd-type in the shit. Not that bad. But the weeks surrounding release of twelfth album Dedicated To Chaos seem like an extended, multi-pronged PR gaffe, one which must spawn from confusion in the Queensryche camp about averse receptions to their good product. And D2C is pretty good. Srs.

Lettucereal tho Dedicated To Chaos has at least one huge problem that takes effort, stamina, and will power to endure. So we can’t label it a ‘great album’ oh my no. But aspects of it can be great — it’s just not metal. We’ll talk about that later, k? First shall I back up the above ‘extended PR gaffe’ claim? Great! No offensies!

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