Last week we offered up another couple of one-month trial memberships for JamPlay.com, where you can take live, interactive video guitar lessons with an impressive array of players, many of them the wizards of metal we know and love: Tosin Abasi, Emil Werstler, Kris Norris, Dave Davidson, Doc Coyle and many more. Don’t worry if you didn’t win; you can still sign up here to get a free one-week trial courtesy of MetalSucks. Here are last week’s winners:

• Action_Jackson: “0 days since our last accident.”
• Matt S: “Business was never the same after the Metalcore supply store opened up across the street.”

Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

Some of our Decibel Hall of Fames don’t happen because a prominent member is dead. Some of them don’t happen because we just can’t track down that fucking keyboardist who found Jesus and changed his name out of embarrassment. And then the rest don’t happen because the members simply hate each other’s fucking guts—my favorite subset of that being when everyone can’t stand the purported “mastermind.”

In this month’s case, we’ve got an example of the latter that somehow worked out (after a lot of pleading and ego-massaging), and it’s easily as entertaining and hilarious as J. Bennett’s write-up of Monster Magnet’s Dopes to Infinity. Check out the audio below, try to identify who’s rhapsodizing about the bad old days, and we’ll hook you up with a six-month subscription.

DECIBEL HALL OF FAME NOVEMBER 2011

-AB

Decibel’s October 2011 issue features Mastodon, The Black Dahlia Murder, YOB, Today is the Day, Dimmu Borgir, Testament, a Queensrÿche/Operation: Mindcrime Hall of Fame and an awesome Skeletonwitch flexi disc. But why not just get a full subscription to ensure that you never miss an issue?

In what seems like really not that much time, Magrudergrind have become one the most popular bands in all of grind — and it’s easy to see why. Not only do their albums kick ass all up and down the boulevard, but their live show is truly something to behold. Last year, a friend of mine who didn’t “get” the appeal of Magurdergind’s recordings saw them live and was promptly won over by them, which, really, is the highest compliment that can be paid to a band’s live act.

Whether you’re already aware of how great they are live or you still need to have your Magrudercherry popped, you’re in luck — the band’s nine day tour with the legendary Despise You begins tomorrow night (get dates here). We couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate than to e-mail Magrudergrind front man Avi Kulawy some typically irritating MetalSucks-style questions. Lucky for us, he was a good sport about it!

After the jump, get Kulawy’s thoughts on what makes this particular tour special, which member of Magrudergrind has the stinkiest van farts, vocal warm-ups fit for grindcore, and more.

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One-man death metal is a seemingly odd prospect: the genre is so wed to the idea of 4-5 guys hunched over their instruments, doing their thing. But it does make some sense. Death metal’s technicality requires a ton of practice time to get your chops up to snuff, and not every drummer is Kevin Talley, not every guitarist Erik Rutan, etc., so it could be argued that it’s best to rely on one’s self for the most desirable results. Granted, it’s not as prevalent as it is in black metal — where it can seem like 64% of all of it is made by one-man projects — but it’s an interesting subset. And these guys actually play out from time to time, so it’s not all jacking off and hoping somebody notices. The goals are the same as with most death metal bands, just with 80% fewer guys.

Granted, the shows aren’t always riveting, as I learned with Bloodsoaked. When I saw them (er, him) at New England Deathfest two years ago, I was struck by how utterly fucking boring it was (in contrast, Putrid Pile — another notable one-man act — managed to put on a surprisingly lively show despite being just a nerdy looking dude in a Devourment hat and a drum machine). And when I heard about their/his latest album — The Death of Hope– the name stuck with me. And while I may have been underwhelmed with Bloodsoaked live, on record, they’re fucking magnificent. It’s death metal for guys who would wear an Obituary long-sleeve and clip-on tie to their sister’s wedding: the dirty, technical yet straightforward stuff. Nothing you haven’t already heard, but certainly the type of stuff that you can never hear enough of. Thirty-one minutes of claustrophobic, atonal riffs and last-breath-from-a-corpse’s-mouth vocals, all of it great.

Click to read more…

Guns N’ Roses not-quite-complete video trilogy from the early 90s — “Don’t Cry,” “November Rain,” and “Estranged” — remains infamous twenty years after its release, I imagine because –

• The videos were INSANELY popular at the time. I think at least one of them played every hour on the hour on MTV.
• They are, of course, completely ridiculous.

So this comic strip version of the “November Rain” video, which was posted recently on Funny or Die, is really taking a cheap shot at an easy target. It’s not news, for example, that the dude overreacting to rain and jumping through the cake makes no sense.

Still, as far as easy targets go, this is a pretty funny one.

Go here to check it out, then pray for comic versions of “Don’t Cry” and “Estranged” in our comments section below.

-AR

[via Badass Digest]

Fashion Week has begun! Designers, buyers, celebutantes, journos, and wannabes have descended upon New York City to see what beauteous items the industry plans to bestow upon the world this coming Spring. And while this blogger was unsuccessful in scoring press credentials for event — losing yet another opportunity to practice The Mystery Method on an Olsen twin — there’s one event that anyone who digs metal, tattoos, and art can go without having to know (or blow) someone.

Shirts & Destroy is one of my favorite clothing companies. They make really well done and affordable t-shirts (among other things) designed by artists/tattooists such as Florian Bertmer, Thomas Hooper, Seldon Hunt, and Chris O’Donnell, all of whom have a keen metal aesthetic. In collaboration with those designers, the brand also produces shirts for awesome bands like Agoraphobic Nosebleed, All Pigs Must Die, Integrity, and Tombs. Put it this way: Shirts & Destroy are about a million steps up from that Affliction and Tapout shit your cousin rocks. And now, after years of being exclusively online, they’re opening a physical store in Brooklyn, NY.

Click to read more…

With the Big 4 concert in NYC fast approaching, its high time for some tasteless list-making and name-calling. Even the staunchest of metal purists probably can’t summon quite the amount of hatred for Metallica that we here at MetalSucks feel towards the Yankees (really just their fans), but lettuce be cereal here for a moment: it’s only too fitting that Metallica chose Yankee Stadium for the Big 4 show. So, here we go, the Top Fifteen Reasons That Metallica Are the Yankees of Metal:

15. Both had classic and storied beginnings but are now concerned only with making Benjamins.

14. Both suffered premature losses of legends (Lou Gehrig = Cliff Burton).

13. Both have historically received unwarranted amounts of attention despite the presence of more authentic, likable peers (Slayer / Megadeth / Anthrax = Giants / Dodgers / Mets)

12. Believe in charging even the poorest of their fans $90 for a ticket and $40 for a t-shirt.

Click to read more…

Today is a good day to be a fan of the progressive. Let’s get right down to it…

It’s not difficult to hear that Ludicra and Hammers of Misfortune share guitarist John Cobbett; the bands sound very different from one another, but there’s a certain harmonic connection that’s apparent on first listen of Hammers of Misfortune’s new track “The Grain.” And this is a good thing. Just as Ludicra’s stunning 2010 release The Tenant was singular in its Ludicra-ness, Hammers of Misfortune have a sound all their own, a bit more on the progressive, NWOBHM and folk-influenced side than Cobbett’s other band. 17th Street comes out on October 25th via Metal Blade (pre-order here).

Hammers of Misfortune “The Grain” by Metal Blade Records

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Swedish sleaze/thrash quartet Hardcore Superstar is celebrating ten years of awesome music by releasing a best of compilation. The Party Ain’t Over ‘Til We Say So will feature songs from records released between the years of 2000-2010. Taking its name from the lyrics to “Last Call for Alcohol,” from last year’s record Split Your Lip, the compilation also includes a brand-new single, “We Don’t Need A Cure.”

And I’m still undecided on “Cure.”

Click to read more…

Just yesterday we got our first look at the album art for Megadeth’s forthcoming TH1RT3EN, as well as the cover art for the first single from that album, “Public Enemy No. 1.” Now the song itself has made it out into the world! Check it out below.

I’ve only had a chance to listen once, but I’m digging it. It sounds like vintage Megadeth, which is obviously a good thing. Endgame, Megadeth’s last album, was a real return to form for Dave Mustaine and company*, and my fear — and, I’d wager, the fear of many a Megafan — was that the band wouldn’t be able to pull it off a second time. But assuming every song on TH1RT3EN is this good, we may be in for a real treat. Amazing. If you’d told me five years ago that Megadeth would have a creative renaissance, I’d of written you off as an old clinging too tightly to the past. Just goes to show ya…

It also seems worth noting that this is the band’s first recording with bassist Dave Ellefson in a decade. I honestly did not miss him on Endgame, but I imagine his return will make some folks dig this tune all the more.

TH1RT3EN comes out November 1 via Roadrunner.

-AR

*I know some people thought that The System Has Failed and/or United Abominations were returns to form, but I don’t think ‘Deth quite stuck the landing on those releases.

[via No Clean Singing]

If the three bands name-checked in our headline aren’t enough to pique your interest, that’s not all: The Phoenix Born of Fire, Volume 1 compilation — put together by weekly New England arts mag The Boston Phoenix — also features free downloadable tracks from Ramming Speed (appearing at The Metal Suckfest!), Motherboar, Razormaze, Acaro, and a number of other Boston-area metal bands. Stream or download the whole thing for free on Bandcamp. Who knows, you may even discover a new band.

-VN

Thanks: Zack Wells

Yesterday, Noisecreep debuted Wayne Static’s new video, “Assassins of Youth.” And in theory it shouldn’t be that terrible a video, because it has half-naked sluts wrestling and making out in it, and you could always hit the “mute” button so you don’t have to listen to the umpteenth variation of the same song Static-X has been playing for fifteen years now and just enjoy the girls.

Unfortunately, the activities of these ladies whose daddies did such an amazing job raising them are all blocked by Wayne Static’s stupid fucking hair.

Sigh.

The video isn’t a complete waste of time, though. There is one shot where Wayne Static is sitting on some chick’s face with his arm akimbo for no apparent reason. That made me laugh pretty hard.

Wayne Static’s latest gift to the world, Pighammer, October 4 on Dirthouse Records.

-AR

Shit hit the fan for The Ocean last week when the unannounced headliner of their U.S. tour flaked and decided to push the whole thing back a couple of months. For any American band this wouldn’t be too big of a deal, but when you’re coming from overseas and flights have already been purchased, gear already rented and visas already procured it presents a major problem. This band’s tours are eternally cursed; endless van breakdowns, highway robberies, and pretty much any thing else that could go wrong has, especially in the U.S. So when they threw this hail mary pass up into the metalsphere we had every reason to think, “Haha! Yeah, right.”

If anyone has a tour to offer us between October 9th and November 20th, we’re all ears :-) Hope we can still make it over somehow.

Except it actually worked, thanks to clutch wide receiver Devin Townsend.

Click to read more…

I was trying to think of a good excuse I could use as to write about Ratt ,since I’ve been having kind of a Ratt week. Warren DeMartini’s birthday? No. Apparently, that was in April. Anniversary of Robbin Crosby’s death? Nope, that was back in June. Then it hit me! The always useful ALBUM OF THE DAY.

My favorite Ratt album is Reach for the Sky. Come on — “Way Cool Jr.,” “What’s It Gonna Be,” “I Want A Woman?” All great classics. But recently I’ve been sticking to songs strictly from 1986’s Dancing Undercover. Especially “7^th Avenue.” It’s got a slow-but-hard intro that I absolutely adore. It might possibly be because it’s the exact same one as on  “Between the Eyes,” from the band’s previous album, Invasion of Your Privacy. If you’re going to rip someone off, it might as well be yourself.

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GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR WIFING GOALS IN 2011

I guess the 16 year-old bro who got kicked out of Design The Skyline didn’t get his fill of public self-clowning when he cried about it on his Tumblr the other day… He’s back, this time gushing about how he wants to marry his little girlfriend! Some pretty epic white knighting here. Highlights:

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9/11 is obviously a complicated issue, and it’s one I feel no desire to make light of. So when discussing Bret Michael’s new 9/11 tribute video, “One More Day,” I am going to try to be sensitive as possible.

Fuck Bret Michaels in the eye.

Wait wait wait wait, that came out wrong. What I meant to type was  –

FUCK BRET MICHAELS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING EYE.

This video isn’t reprehensible (just) because it’s a cheesy oversimplification of the aforementioned complicated issue. I don’t even really care that Michaels used it as an opportunity to glorify himself as a USO performer — he’s not the first celebrity to pat himself on the back for doing something nice, and he won’t be the last.

No no no, what’s really offensive about this video is inclusion of the following picture:

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Legendary U.K. death metal duo Mithras are back! Rayner Coss has returned to the band and Mithras are busy recording a full album for potential release in 2012.

To keep hungry ears happy in the meantime, Mithras have released a 5-song EP called Time Never Lasts featuring working versions of two brand new tracks and three live tracks from Rayner’s last live show with the band, recorded in London in 2008. The YouTube video description from the EP teaser, above, promises a September 1st release date, but according to Mithras’ webstore the EP is still listed as a pre-order because the CDs haven’t arrived yet. Still, the teaser above gives enough of a taste to let us know that this EP and subsequent album are going to fucking CRUSH. Can’t wait to hear the two new songs in full.

-VN

The last time I wrote about the release of a new Rwake song, there were zero comments; the time before that, there were six comments, five of which were based around accusations that the band sounds like Baroness (which they don’t), and one of which claimed they sound like Primordial (a little more accurate but still come the fuck on). And I find what seems to be a lack of interest on the part of the MS community in Rest, Rwake’s first new album in four years, to be horribly, horribly depressing.

So lemme break it down real simple for you cats: Rest is one of the best albums of the year, and you need to go listen to the latest song from the record to be unveiled, “Was Only a Dream,” immediately.

Go listen to it now.

Go listen to it now.

Go listen to it now.

SERIOUSLY, GO FUCKING LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW. Don’t make me shoot that poor pooch in the head.

Rwake’s Rest comes out September 27 on Relapse.

/rant.

-AR

If the memory of a Steel Panther super-fan’s Labor Day weekend could be screened like a movie, viewers would see blurry and jumpy frames depicting 72 hours of falling off stuff, packing stuff into mouths/noses, cheering the topless, cock-blocking the beta beardos, debating police, barfing, dodging streams of barf, and rebounding from tragic drug spills. Oh and I bet there’d be plenty of ballz: your ballz, my ballz, fire ballz, 8 ballz, hair ballz, Nepalese Temple ballz, malted milk ballz, etc. But now, let’s get caught up on some exciting heavy metal ballz, Steel Panther’s forthcoming album Balls Out!

Click to read more…

At long last, Blotted Science are getting ready to make their return! The band’s new EP, The Animation of Entomology, is coming out in less than a month, and now they’ve unveiled the album art (above), and two minutes of a new song, “Omitting Eyes” (below). And while I suspect the EP cover will cause some debate — I think it looks pretty cool, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some fans may find it too cartoony — I can’t imagine what anyone’s complaint about the song could be. It’s too awesome, maybe? I dunno I dunno. Check it out and see if you can find something bad to say about it that doesn’t make you sound like an irrational tool. I don’t think it’s possible.

BLOTTED SCIENCE – Omitting Eyes (edit) by EclecticElectric

The Animation of Entomology comes out October 4 via EclecticElectric.

-AR