I love Michael Angelo Batio, and I do so without a shred (ha!) of irony. The former Nitro axeman has made a career out of playing completely ridiculous guitars in completely ridiculous manners; he’s like the Harlem Globetrotters of metal, a never-ending “web gems” reel of guitar acrobatics.

There’s nothing about this clip of Batio’s “tribute to Metallica” that requires four guitars to be played ambidextrously. Everything he plays could be executed fairly easily on just one guitar, the way, ya know, Metallica does it (with some looping pedal action, perhaps, which he uses anyway). Also not at all needed: switching guitar necks for show. But that’s what makes Batio, and this clip, so great: everything about them are completely, entirely unnecessary, including the very existence of this “tribute” itself. So why not have some fun with it and push things completely over the top? Metal needs more clowns like Batio who don’t take themselves too seriously.

I <3 Michael!

-VN

William Shatner’s cover of “Iron Man” is the worst thing ever despite — or maybe, in part, because of — guitars by Zakk Wylde. So Metal Insider‘s assertion that the below video of Shatner recording vocals for that cover is better than the actual cover itself is dead on. Remember when we saw The Shat giving Zakk Wylde all these kinds of ridiculous, pretentious directions that couldn’t possibly be applied to the performance in any kind of tangible way? Well, his own approach to the vocals is only slightly less silly. In fact, I’m starting to think (hope?) that maybe the joke is on all of us — maybe Shatner KNOWS he’s being funny.

Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit.

Watch below and make up your own mind.

-AR

This is a really long post and I apologize in advance. I’ve tried to edit it down and this is as short as I can make it without sacrificing any of the points I’m trying to drive home. Sorry.

I got home last night around 11:30 pm, and to my surprise and delight, Chimaira’s Mark Hunter was STILL GOING on his tweeting tear (new topics of discussion include the very depressing realities of touring in a van versus paying for a bus, and how a band’s road crew can sometimes make more money than the band itself does), continuing to answer HUNDREDS of fans’ questions on all facets of the music business, and pulling yet even more industry insiders, like DevilDriver’s Dez Fafara, into the mix. In fact, Hunter was still going as of about 3 a.m. EST this morning, hours after I’d finally hit the sack, and literally just as I started typing this, I noticed that he is now awake and at it again. And I would like to re-emphasize the amazingness of this conversation. Not only should you be following Mark on Twitter, but you should also read this really, really incredible interview that Metal Insider published earlier today on the whole topic — not only is it another nice summation of much of what Hunter has been discussing, but it goes into even greater depth on many of these topics.

ANYWAY, my contribution to this ongoing discussion was to express surprise that no one had brought up the topic of publicists yet; Mark promptly did address the topic (and discusses it a little more in the aforementioned Metal Insider interview), and I’m going to publish his thoughts after the jump. But I also want to take some time and express my own thoughts on the important role publicists play in this industry. ‘Cause, as I said on Twitter last night, your band does not need to be signed to have a publicist, and, yes, if you can afford one, a good PR rep is totally worth having.

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Lotsa new music today! Unfortunately neither East of the Wall or Cormorant are playing The Metal Suckfest like two of the bands with new music we featured earlier today, but in a perfect world we’d have both bands playing 2-hour long sets on both days. And so:

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I know less than nothing about Polish politics, so I have no idea what office Jędrzej Wijas is running for. But I do know that his new campaign ad, “The Concrete Message,” is the single best campaign ad I’ve ever seen in my life.

And here’s a translation of the lyrics, in case you’re curious:

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Welcome to the latest edition of “Freeloader,” in which we review albums that you don’t have to feel like a douche for downloading for free. Today Satan Rosenbloom checks out Komondor’s A Giant Is Coming and the Giant Is Going to Kill You.

Ever wondered what the fuck that thing is jumping over a hurdle on the cover of Beck’s Odelay? Wonder no more: it’s a komondor, a kind of dog first bred in Hungary to guard livestock. Why a sheep or goat would respond to a barking mop with anything but mocking laughter is beyond me, but give credit where it’s due: that dreadlocked mutt has been featured on two great albums now, the aforementioned Odelay back in 1996, and now A Giant Is Coming and the Giant Is Going to Kill You by Kingston, NY-based noise-rockers Komondor.

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I am a totally cool, mature person with cool, mature tastes. Which is why this video of a cute metal dude named Eric Calderone playing the Harry Potter theme did absolutely nothing for me. Nothing. Nope.

Amongst his repertoire of theme songs are the Pirates of the Caribbean, Stars Wars, and Castlevania. He also does a mean Rick-Roll. I know there are about a million and ten metal versions of various things online (and a certain band called Powerglove), but this guy managed to charm me so he gets a post.

Hah! He also does Guile’s theme from Street Fighter. Sir, if you do Dhalsim’s, too, we can be best friends forever.

-LF

Lots of new metal is out or is about to come out! I’ll put about as much effort into writing this intro as the Red Sox did into playing good baseball in September, so let’s just cut right to it:

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Because unlike Limp Bizkit, Korn keeps finding new and innovative ways to be completely unlistenable. A press release for the band’s nu-dubstep-metal album, The Path Of Banality, claims that “this is unlike any Korn record.  It’s even unlike any record released before.” And that’s not just hype. Korn have reinvented the art of being the worst band on the planet, and, thus, become relevant again. We can ignore Limp Bizkit, who are still using the same tricks they were over a decade ago, only with diminishing returns; but nearly twenty years into their career, Korn are as deplorable as they ever were, genuinely competing with younger acts like Skip the Foreplay for the honor of making music so awful it may actually inspire rioting by anyone with a first grade education and functioning ears.

Bravo, Korn. Bravo!

The Path of Tonedeafality comes out December 6 on Roadrunner. The band will follow it up with an entire dubstep tour, which, again, is a completely brilliant move on their part. You can get dates on some other website.

-AR

Last year, the cover of Revolver‘s “Hottest Chicks in Metal/Hard Rock/Whatever” issue was graced by a girl so young that even thinking about her while masturbating should be illegal. This year, though, Evanescence’s Amy Lee is on the cover. Thinking about her while masturbating should be illegal, too, but just because her music was recently indicted for war crimes by the UN, not because she’s too young or anything. Because she’s thirty. “Thirty?!?!” Ted Nugent screamed in disappointment when reached for comment. “I wouldn’t even take a viagra for that old, wrinkly vagina!”

Oh well. At least they didn’t Photoshop the image in order to ensure that she met with unrealistic standards of physical beauty. Oh wait.

-AR

[via Metal Injection]

Swedish death-thrash quintet The Crown is so awesome that their music overcomes your personal preferences and tastes. They represent a hot bikini fox that even your gf ogles, a burger whose aroma mesmerizes your vegan pals, a party joint on which squares toke sociably. So, extreme metallers can laud the quintet as the elite of their genre, while everybody else can say, “I’m not way into that scene, but I love The Crown.” They’re a common denominator, an irresistible force. Though their stuff is out there, it gets in you. Everybody saw Star Wars. Everybody reads In Cold Blood. Everybody can love The Crown. This is my belief srs.

And there’s more Crown to love as of last week when they announced their second reunion with original vocalist Johan Lindstrand. This follows a hiatus-breaking entry in the Crown discography, the tight, monochromatic Doomsday King (with ex-God Macabre screamer Jonas Stålhammer). It’s an unusual Crown album, admits guitarist Marko Tervonen, and one made under “difficult” circumstances. Its reception was unusual too: Some fans perceived a thematic about-face by the devilish Crown and firmly decried Doomsday‘s Christian-ish tone. About this mild backlash, a friendly and laughy Tervonen spoke with MetalSucks last week between answering a billion questions about the brief Stålhammer era, his awesome strategy for The Crown’s next classic album (forecast for a late Spring release), the new opportunity to reunite with Lindstrand, their slight tour schedule, families, friends, confusable album titles, and the songwriting arsenal/ball-crunching power of the “properly” reunited Crown.

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Clearly, MetalSucks is the best media outlet of any kind in the entire universe, but a close second would have to be High Times. The fantasy I have in my head is that the magazine’s offices are constantly shrouded in a cloud of weed smoke so thick everyone has to call out to one another and walk slowly with their hands extended to ensure they don’t crash into anything — kinda the human equivalent of gondolas turning through the canals of Venice — and then once a month someone is like, “Oh, shit, dude, we have a magazine to print!” But I’m sure it’s actually much more professional than that.

ANYWAY, the reason I mention High Times now is because they’ve done two things this week which are extremely metal. First, they debuted a new track by 3, which is called — wait for it — “High Times.” So that worked out pretty well. You know we got nuthin’ but love for 3 here at MS — in fact, we recently debuted a new 3 track ourselves, “React” — so we highly recommend that you head over to the High Times website and check that shit out. 3′s new album, The Ghost You Gave to Me, comes out October 11 via Metal Blade.

The second awesomely metalicious thing High Times did this week is get Phil Anselmo really stoned and do an epic four-part interview with him, in which he discusses, amongst other things, how he smoked herb for the first time when he was six years old. That is fucking YOUNG, dude. At least now I know what to do when I wanna ensure that my son is the next great heavy metal front man. You can check out part one of the interview below, then go here to watch the rest.

-AR

[Anselmo interview news via Metal Injection]

Are Russian Circles finally about to hit the big time? “Mladek,” the first song to be released from their forthcoming album Empros (out on October 25th) is premiering on Rolling Stone. That’s a pretty big statement.

Russian Circles always seemed destined to break out of the metal scene, anyway. Their music is heavy but it certainly can’t be called “brutal,” “crushing” or <insert metal adjective here>, and it’s certainly got elements of space rock, indie and more. This band could certainly cast a wide net and come up big, even though they’re instrumental. Their music is even danceable. You could bring a normal chick (key word “normal”) to a Russian Circles show and she’d probably enjoy herself, something you can’t say about 99% of the bands we regularly post about. This will be their fourth full-length album; they’ve been plugging away at it for some time, making great music and touring relentlessly throughout, so any widespread success they achieve is certainly hard earned.

Check out the new song at Rolling Stone; it’s beautiful and delicate yet still somehow manages to pack a punch and has a walloping groove, just like everything else this band has done in the past.

-VN

Look, if someone says to you, “Hey! The Acacia Strain are touring with Terror, Stray from the Path, and Harm’s Way!”, you’ll know in three seconds whether or not you’re interested in going to that tour. ‘Cause maybe you’re a fan of those bands, and maybe you ain’t. And if you are a fan, you could just go here, where we premiered an awesome live track by Terror yesterday, and see in another three seconds if the tour is coming anywhere near you. So I guess what I’m saying is, in theory, there’s really no reason for you to watch the below video of TAS front dude Vincent Bennett hyping said tour.

Except that the video is only two minutes long, and it’s funny as hell. The best part is Bennett discussing how “We might be coming to your town, we might not be coming to your town,” and going on to say “it’s really out of our hands,” because, well, TRUTH. I know every time we sponsor a tour people are like “Why isn’t it coming to [whiney reader's town here],” and they don’t realize how many different factors going into making those decisions, and how little say 98% of everyone involved in the tour had in said decision… but Bennett’s explanation is way more entertaining.

BONUS: Here’s a fun drinking game — do a shot every time Bennett says the name of all four bands on the tour. You will be no longer be feeling feelings by the time the video is over.

Like I was saying, you can get dates for the God Damn tour, whatever it’s called, here.

-AR

[via Metal Injection]

Was I foolish to expect more than this? After all, the last two Bush albums were such dizzying letdowns, with 2001′s Golden State all but unlistenable. Still, alt. rock pinup Gavin Rossdale’s post-Bush career contained the delightfully brutish, Page Hamilton-produced Institute project featuring Chris Traynor of Orange 9mm. After his subsequent safe-for-soon-canceled-FOX-shows WANDERlust (again featuring Traynor), a new Bush record seemed like an opportunity to return to his roots and cement the band’s rock legacy.

Here’s the rub, though: The Sea Of Memories isn’t so much a reunion album as another Rossdale solo effort, simply and strategically renamed. For starters, lead guitarist Nigel Pulsford and bassist Dave Parsons–half of the band’s original membership–opted not to sign up for another go-round, thus supplanted by Rossdale solo players Traynor and Corey Britz, respectively. Clearly someone’s been talking to Hamilton, who has made swift work flushing Helmet’s credibility down the toilet in recent years. And yes, drummer Robin Goodridge has returned, giving it more credibility than, say, Hole’s 2010 “reunion” album. However, like cash, majority rules, and this is Rossdale’s parliament, now more than ever.

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MetalSucks’ own photographic genius Alyssa Lorenzon recently caught Wolves in the Throne Room at Broad Street Ministries in Philly, and, as always, she snapped some awesome pics you, our beloved readers, to enjoy. For better or worse, the band uses very sparse lighting and doesn’t allow flash photography, so this smaller-than-usual gallery has a, well… let’s call it a moody quality to all the photos. Still killer, though!

Check out all of Alyssa’s pics after the jump!!!

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Photo by Todd Bell

I was updating MetalSucks’ Twitter account yesterday when I noticed that Chimaira vocalist Mark Hunter was in the middle of an absolute Tweet-a-Thon, answering literally hundreds of fans’ questions about the music business. (He also got some other musicians and industry insiders, including including Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe, GWAR front man/MetalSucks columnist Dave “Oderus Urungus” Brockie, and Metal Blade’s Brian Slagel involved.) And this wasn’t just non-specific generalizations, either — Hunter was being incredibly forthcoming on his thoughts about record labels, streaming services like Spotify and YouTube, how much Chimaira makes from physical CD sales, physical DVD sales, and touring, and much, much more. In fact, Hunter went on for so long that he actually EXCEEDED the limit of tweets that Twitter would allow him to send for a day, at which point he moved the conversation over to his Facebook account. I followed the back-and-forth for as long as I could, but had to bow out at a certain point to attend to other things, and made a mental note to write about it all today. And, hey, guess what? As of at least five hours ago, Hunter was still going. Wowza.

So now I’d like to go over a few of the highlights. Even if you’re not a Chimaira fan, this is worth checking out, ’cause, again, it pertains to the music industry, and is not all Chimaira-specific. And so:

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PA black metallers Woe — who are playing the official “Pre-Game” of the Metal Suckfest on November 3rd along with Mayhem, Keep of Kalessin, Hate and Abigail Williams — released Quietly, Undramatically via Candlelight Records roughly a year ago. We like this band a lot: we premiered a track from that record and Sammy O’Hagar gave it a four-out-of-five horns rating in his official review of the record.

Now Woe have gone and released a new version of Quietly, Undramatically that’s been entirely remixed. I didn’t have any problem with the way the record sounded to begin with, but I gotta admit, this new one sounds way better.

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The “Top Hard Music” Chart I’ve been using for this column for the past couple of years is a mixed bag; on one hand, a lot of the “Top Hard Music” albums are really old albums that continue to sell (Metallica’s Black Album, various greatest hits collections, catalogue albums of whatever big band happens to be on tour at the time, etc) which paints a skewed picture of what I’m really interested in, namely the new stuff. On the other hand, it’s interesting to see how those older albums continue to sell.

I was recently alerted to the existence of a different chart, “Current Hard Music;” I’m not sure what the criteria is for what constitutes “Current” as some albums on this chart have been on for 90+ weeks and some artists are certainly not “current” by any means, but it does seem to paint a much better picture of the sales of newer albums. Without perrenial classics and greatest hits comps hogging up precious chart space, fewer units need to be sold for a band to get into the Top 100 on the “Current” chart. I am contemplating a move to focusing on that chart in the future. For now, I’ll stick with Top Hard Music with some added albums from the bottom of the other chart. What do you guys think?

Anyway, this week we’ve got big debuts from Pearl Jam and Opeth, big second week drops from a number of artists (Anthrax, Dream Theater and more) that still have pretty big sales numbers, and a look at some albums that came out earlier this year (Black Dahlia Murder, All Shall Perish, more).

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The North American Khaos Tour, which we are very proudly co-presenting with Full Metal Jackie, is winding down — there are only five dates left! Hopefully you caught a show, or live in a city/town where you will be able to catch one of these last few shows, ’cause the line-up is killer, and the concerts have been a total blast.

Now headliners Arch Enemy have posted a behind-the-scenes video from the tour, which you can watch below. Support, in case you didn’t know, comes from DevilDriver, Skeletonwitch, and Chthonic.

Don’t forget to check out the special Khaos-themed editions of “Rigged” that Arch Enemy bassist Sharlee D’Angelo and DevilDriver guitarist Mike Spreitzer did for us, too. And you can get those last five tour dates after the jump!

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