(Photo Credit:  The INCREDIBLE Sahisnu “Nunu” Sadarpo.)

It’s been awesome reading everything you guys have been saying so far.  Obviously some people don’t get the humor/sarcasm…but I love it!

So, as you may have guessed, I’m dedicating one post to my own band, Vestascension.

I’m not gonna say much, I prefer to let the music speak for itself.  It’s definitely not going to be for everyone seeing as how it’s not Djent and all these trolls today have just been BEGGING for more Djent posts-so sorry girls!  If you’re a fan of A Perfect Circle, Dredg, Tool, Porcupine Tree, Karnivool, etc. then you may enjoy some of our stuff, or not.  We were very fortunate to be able to record some of the new stuff with Justin Meldal-Johnsen and John Wesley-which was an honor to say the least.

We cover A LOT of different sounds/styles.  I’m posting just 4 songs here with a short description of each one.  All of our music is FREE and you can download it now in very high quality by CLICKING HERE.

Make sure you “like” us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!

Enjoy!

-Justin Gosnell

Oh and come on trolls, you’re disappointing me so far-show me what you’ve got!

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Ok.  Where do I begin…

Chances are there’s quite a few of you out there in the metal world that don’t know the name Bob Lefsetz.  For those that do however-actually for anyone that does-you’re fully aware of what a goldmine this guy is in terms of the knowledge and insight into the music business he posses.

Some people don’t like to hear what he has to say, some people claim he’s mean and/or cruel.  Well you know what?  99.99% of those people are the ones in bands that fucking suck, the ones that complain the industry isn’t fair, the ones that think it’s supposed to be easy to be a rockstar, and really just any band that’s still in disbelief that Warner Brothers hasn’t come and scoop them up out of their mommies basements and put them on tour with Metallica opening for them.

PAY ATTENTION-there’s not one damn thing I’m going to say today that’s of more importance than this:  IF YOU DON’T SUBSCRIBE TO HIS MAILING LIST DROP EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING AND SIGN UP NOW BY CLICK HERE!  I promise you, if you’re a musician that’s trying to navigate the treacherous waters that are the current music industry this guy will seriously help you.  There’s a reason why Bob is so widely respected by so many of the top people in the industry both on the business side of things as well as the musicians themselves.

Since I’ve been focusing today on trying to help out up-and-coming musicians I was going to write a post basically stating exactly what I said above-and that was it.  On a whim however, I decided fuck it, I’m gonna ask Bob if I can interview him.  So, I shoot off an email.  Now, I’ve emailed him before about marketing and whatnot and tried to share a few ideas and believe me I pray every night that he’ll maybe one day notice my own band or those marketing ideas I’ve tried to develop (of which I’m opting not to link here out of sheer respect).  Why?  Not because I think he’s some magic genie that’s going to write about my band or “make it happen”-far from it.  It’s because-and I don’t know if this is even how to describe it-once you have followed him for awhile and understand his mind you just want approval from him.  He’s like that dad you have that is always stern, like a military dad, and you kind of go through life always just thinking “FUCK, if he’d just pat me on the back once or just say good job!!”.  In a nutshell, that’s my relationship with Bob. lol

So with that said, when I was sitting on my laptop and I saw an email pop up from him that wasn’t one of his newsletters I almost sharted-no fucking joke.  I’ll admit something too (and if Bob is reading this he’s going to be like “that asshole-I knew he was a fucking unprepared noob!”).  I didn’t have a single question written.  I seriously never in a million years expected for him to accept my request.  I would have expected to get an email from Zeus before ever getting one from Bob.  Maybe it’s because of what his email said too – “Ok, can you do it right now?”.  So, I did what any self respecting man would do and I lied and told him I needed 15 minutes because I was stuck in traffic (sorry Bob!).  Then, of course I faced writers block.  After all these years I’ve spent reading his shit and all the millions of things I’ve wanted to ask him how the fuck could I not think of one fucking question to ask him once he finally says that he’s ready to answer them?!

Well, as it turns out Bob is a pretty cool guy.  Yeah-he has a strong opinion and he’s not afraid to let you know it and certainly not afraid to fight for his causes.  To be totally honest I was nervous as fuck.  I’ve been very lucky to meet almost all of my heros in music.  I won’t name drop, but really, pretty much all of them.  However, never have I ever  been more nervous than I was when I was interviewing Bob.  And I’m sure it showed as I stumbled through questions.  Then my phone got disconnected not once, but twice.  The first time I thought I was sucking so bad at interviewing him that he just hung up.  He is a very busy guy so I wouldn’t have had any hard feelings.  But, he actually let me try 3 fucking times to get it right-and it ended up working out-and well, that’s that.

Thanks for listening to my long ass story….now it’s time to open your ears and listen to what Mr. Lefsetz has to say…

-Justin Gosnell

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When I first began making my list of all the people I wanted to interview Mike Mowery was one of the first names I added.  His management company-Outerloop Management-is rapidly growing and becoming more and more successful at a time when so many others are failing.  Outerloop’s current roster boasts some of the hottest names in the industry right now including Periphery, Darkest Hour, Veil of Maya, Dying Fetus, Misery Signals, Oceano-and the list just goes on and on.  (For the complete roster click here).

You fucking trolls will of course say alllll those bands suck and they’re allllll gay.  Well you know what, fuck you.  You can act like a bunch of little assholes and pick apart each little band and cry like babies about why you don’t like them but you CAN NOT deny that those bands are becoming more and more successful.  In fact, that’s what makes your pussies hurt so much-they’re out in the world playing todays biggest and best metal tours and you’re at home playing a tour on Guitar Hero.

For you bands/musicians out there that are looking for some great advice-this is for YOU!  Mike Mowery is a fucking management WIZARD.  So, listen up because the man himself is getting ready to drop some very useful knowledge on you…..

<3 Justin Gosnell 

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Well hello again!

I hope you’ve been enjoying everything I’ve been posting here today on Metalsucks.net.  This next interview is really something I was beyond thrilled to be able to do!

A Perfect Circle is without a doubt one of my all-time favorite bands and are also a huge inspiration on myself as well as my own band, Vestascension. So, when Matt McJunkins agreed to do an interview with lil’ ol me, well, I basically soiled myself.  Matt is a really awesome dude and everyone out there should give this a good read even if you’re not into any of the bands he’s involved with.  He provides some very interesting insight into what it takes to land an audition and what to do and what not to do if you actually land one.  Of course he also talks about his work in A Perfect Circle, Ashes Divide, Puscifer, 30 Seconds To Mars, and even gives a few details about his new project with Jeff Friedl.

Check it out below and if you’d like to know more about Matt click here to visit his official website.

-Justin Gosnell

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If you’re into what’s happening in the modern music world and especially the modern metal scene then you’re no doubt already familiar with the band Periphery.  To say they are carrying one of the biggest buzzes in the industry right now is an understatement.  While you may have heard of them, and even be a huge fan of their music, what you may not know is that they are continually focused on giving music lessons and teaching any and all up-and-coming musicians who want to learn.  Giving lessons has become a standard part of just about every tour they do and in a time where other bands find they are struggling to stay afloat on the road, Periphery uses this approach to not only bring in some invaluable extra money while on tour but also to enrich the next generation of musicians and create a stronger bond with their fans.

Periphery’s drummer Matt Halpern has gone way above and beyond with Bandhappy.com, a forthcoming website that has been many years in the making.  Once a musician creates an account on Bandhappy they are then able to pay for and take LIVE, online or on tour music lessons from a plethora of musicians and teachers from all over the world. If one would like to teach, anyone can apply, and once approved, all teachers gain access to an online profile where they can set their schedules, rates, and teach either online or on tour, anytime from anywhere – it’s easy to use and gives complete control to the teacher, enabling them to provide a truly personal learning experience. Perhaps the most awesome feature of Bandhappy is that it provides a great opportunity for students to take LIVE and personal lessons from some of the top names in the industry.  Something like that can be a complete dream come true and is something that’s never be made available before.  I certainly couldn’t imagine myself when I was 16 being able to take a guitar lesson from Adam Jones-my mind would have exploded!

Matt was kind enough to give me all the details on Bandhappy and more in the following interview.

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Today I’m blessed with the opportunity to have my voice heard by a lot of music fans-which is amazing-and I wanted to spread the love around a little bit.  Once I was announced the winner of the contest a lot of friends/associates/bands hit me up asking me to please write about their own band or a band that they managed, some even offered money.  I feel bad having to say no because if I could I’d help ALL of my friends but I can’t post about all 500 bands that I’m friends with.  For those of you I didn’t post anything about that are pissed off-give me a fucking break!  Besides, these bands agreed to give me a fresh bung-toungue and you didn’t, that’s not it works in the industry.

With that said I decided I’d pick just 5 bands.  I came up with a few guidelines I wanted to follow.  They had to be a band that had never been mentioned on Metalsucks.net before, they had to be great people, and they had to have a professional product.  Lastly, they had to be a band who’s music I personally really like and believe in.

Without further ado:

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I’m goin’ troll huntin’ mah!

Photo Credit:  The INCREDIBLE Sahisnu “Nunu” Sadarpo.

Well well well….hold on a sec here…AHHHHHHH…yeah.  Sorry, just had to get comfortable on my throne here and get my crown on straight-all better!

Today’s the day I get to troll..er..uh…I mean…run Metalsucks.net!  Truth be told I am really fucking happy to be here!  I’m going to take this opportunity and actually put it to good use and hopefully it’ll help out some bands out there today.  There’s not gonna be much time for humor here-sorry-it’s alllll business today ladies.  I sent out a few messenger pigeons who’s sole purpose was to wrangle me up some good interviews and, well, they delivered!  I made it my mission to ask these lovely people all kinds of questions that 1) I don’t think most interviewers ask them and 2) that I think will help out any musicians/bands out there that may be looking for some answers or advice.

Hopefully you’ll come away today being a little more well-versed on how things really run in the industry and perhaps even a better understanding of just how hard it is to “make it” in this industry.

Lastly, it wouldn’t be a proper Gosnell outing unless I created some controversy so you’ll get some of that too!  So, all you trolls out there man your keyboards and get ready to spill your pussy juice all over them because I think you’ll have A LOT to get butt-hurt about today!!

I’m gonna kick the day off here with my debut rap single “Albert Clifford”.  It’s a tribute to my childhood hero A.C. Slater.  I don’t think there’s a person out there who’s life hasn’t been touched/enriched by this man.  My single wasn’t very successful in the U.S. but it did go Aluminum in Yugoslavia so, ya know, there’s that.

Stay tuned-there’s much more to come!

Love your favorite guest writer in Metalsucks history,

Justin Gosnell

In case you had somehow forgotten, this past weekend, Justin Gosnell won our Third Annual “Run MetalSucks for a Day” contest. And his day to run MetalSucks is tomorrow. So no Axl, no Vince, no any other members of the lovable MS gang. We’ll be back Monday (well, presumably, at least one of us will be back on Saturday). But in the meantime, please show Justin the same complete lack of respect you show us, and enjoy whatever he has cooked up for you.

Love,

Axl, Vince, and Everyone at MetalSucks

Arch Enemy are currently out on their MetalSucks-sponsored North American tour with DevilDriver, Skeletonwitch and Chthonic (dates here). Devildriver guitarist Mike Spreitzer recently put together a Rigged feature for MetalSucks detailing his live guitar setup, and now it’s time for a little bit of bass love courtesy Arch Enemy low-end master Sharlee D’Angelo. Here’s Sharlee:

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The prize for last week’s Photo Caption Contest was the Helo TC, an iPhone-controlled remote helicopter. I’m telling you people, Griffin sent me one of these bad boys to play around with and the Mansion hasn’t been the same since; they rule. Dental_Damnation and Chris, the winners, are in for a treat when theirs arrive in the mail:

• Dental_Damnation: “Sunhats by Abbath: “There’s nothing kvlt abovt a svnbvrn.”
• Chris: “Even black metal supports breast cancer awareness.”

This week’s we’re giving away a grab-bag of metal stuff: brand new CDs, posters, stickers, etc. To win, leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (sent in by tipster Fuzzy Dunlop). Remember to use a real email address (or post it along with your comment if you’re using FB Connect / Twitter etc).

Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

I’m digging the Skeletonwitch cover this month, but Chance Garnette looks like a younger version of this guy. THERE IS NO FUCKIN’ PUMPKIN ICE CREAM IN YOUR FUCKIN’ FUTURE.

Luckily, House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects never come up in J. Bennett’s comprehensive and revealing cover story on Athens, Ohio’s premier metal outfit (although Appalachian Death Ride sound promising—thanks, Wikipedia!). The blackened thrash quintet has been refining their (witch)craft over the last half-decade while dealing with annoying member turnover. Now Forever Abomination is poised to be their breakthrough; we’re obviously in their corner either way, seeing as how SW made their stamp on the Flexi Series just a month earlier.

The ’Witch headline a Halloween rogues’ gallery in November, including a Call & Response with Alice Cooper, an amusingly acrimonious HOF on Ministry’s The Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Taste, features on Goreaphobia and Exhumed, and a new Flexi with Anaal Nathrakh dressing up to deconstruct the Specials’ “Man at C&A.” And as always there’s plenty more razor blades embedded within. Subscribers will have the issue within the next three weeks, the rest of you can order it here now.

-AB

Yeah, you could just order Decibel’s November 2011 issue, which also features Machine Head, Chimaira, and Brutal Truth — but why not just get a full subscription to ensure that you never miss an issue?

So there goes that part of my childhood.

At least Veronica-as-Paul-Stanley looks butcher than actual Paul Stanley.

-AR

[via Metal Insider]

Two weeks I wrote about how Ratt’s “Dance” is an excellent stripping song, and jested about trying it out myself. Jokes aside, I’ve always been fascinated by strip clubs and strippers and the whole shebang. It’s just so weird to me. The way it all functions and how lucrative it really is. When I was in college, we affectionately called the street right next to us “Stripper Alley” because of the cluster of clubs situated two steps from the dorms. You’d be hard-pressed to find worse houses of “burlesque” in the country.

Unfortunately, any fantasies or visions of naked grandeur were put to rest when I attended one innocent evening and an enthusiastic and obviously pregnant girl started raving about how much she loved my name. ‘Cause my real name was her stage name. Thanks, mom and dad.

It’s hard to deny that there’s some connection between metal, especially hair metal, and stripping. They go hand in hand like… syphilis and crazy. But I really don’t like the “stripping songs” that everyone always seems to go with. “Pour Some Sugar On Me”… like, really? There are so many underrated bands from that era and even more underrated songs. Some just had bad timing and some were plain ignored. But it got me thinking.

So here are the top underrated bands (note: “underrated” does not necessarily mean “unpopular”) of the 80s and early 90s, along with their corresponding strip songs. Now, these aren’t my choices, mind you — I just think they’d get the job done. I really hope no family members are reading this but if they are: HEY YOU GAVE ME A STRIPPER NAME, THIS WAS INEVITABLE.

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Cynicism is a dangerous thing to give in to. That being said, it’s hard not to give in, and in the waning days of humanity (or, you know, just the shitty stretch of time we’re living in right now), the status quo machismo of metal doesn’t always hold water, so it’s hard not to blanket oneself in misery and despair. And not the self-loathing/shoegazing kind, but the writhing in agony variety. And sludge/doom collective Beneath Oblivion excel in this, providing a charred landscape of molten riffs on their appropriately histrionically-titled latest album, From Man to Dust. It’s a hard-to-digest bruiser, but despite its uninviting abrasiveness, it’s never superfluously obtuse or dull. It takes some easing into, but once there, it’s fascinating.

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Because film scores are generally one of the last aspects of a movie to be completed (makes sense when you think about it — scoring a film is a very precise science, and it’s pretty much impossible to do correctly until the film is completely edited), and because marketing for a film needs to begin months in advance of its release, movie trailers often use temp music that’s either from another movie (e.g., Hans Zimmer’s score for Crimson Tide, which was in seemingly every action movie trailer during the 90s) or was written just for the trailer and will never be used again (like Zack Hemsey’s awesome “Mind Heist” music for the Inception trailer).

But I guess director David Fincher got his shit together fast, ’cause apparently the music in the new trailer for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (below) is from the actual score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. It’s not hard to believe, either — if I hadn’t been told that it was real Reznor/Ross material, I’d have to compliment whomever composed it on doing a bang-up job of imitating that duo’s signature sound. Check it out and see what you think… sounds pretty intense to me:

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo comes out at Christmas. There’s no official release date for the score yet, but presumably it will be sometime in the week or two prior.

-AR

One of the many beauties of the Internet (besides pr0n, of course) is its ability connect musicians to fans the world over without pesky things like gigantic oceans getting in the way like they used to. This is not to say that we only ever used to listen to bands in our home countries, but it sure is a lot easier to discover new music from a far away land than it used to be. Let’s check out brand new music from Livarkahil (France), Krisiun (Brazil) and Archaios (Dominican Republic) after the jump.

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As we’ve said multiple times in the past few weeks, Cold Winds on Timeless Days, the sophomore effort from Richard Christy’s Charred Walls of the Damned, friggin’ KILLS. This supergroup which is actually super — it also features Tim “Ripper” Owens on vocals, Jason Suecof on guitars, and Steve DiGiorgio on bass — have made an album which, as Vince put it, is impossible to listen to “without feeling like your invisible chalice full of your slain enemy’s blood absolutely must be raised to the sky.” This is one of those records that is just pure metal, through and through.

To celebrate the album’s October 11th release (pre-order it here!), MetalSucks is proud to be teaming up with Metal Blade and the legendary Mr. Christy (Death, Iced Earth, Control Denied, The Howard Stern Show, etc.) himself for what is easily one of our coolest, and most fun, contests ever. Here’s how it’s gonna work:

• Download this picture of Richard Christy.
• Photoshop Richard into the most ridiculous, fun scenario you can imagine. Seriously, there are no limits here — do what ya gotta do to make us laugh.
• Send your entry, along with your name and address, to news AT metalsucks DOT net, with CWOTD CONTEST in the subject line. Please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only.

And that’s it! We’ll select the three funniest photos to be the grand-prize and runner-up winners, respectively… and those winners will win some really, really, REALLY cool stuff. Check it:

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One sad thing about today’s bands is their failure to decorate albums with sexy pics of writhing sluts. Now sure, no longer is heavy metal cover art the principal conveyance for boob shots to young dudes, cuz hey porn is everywhere. I mean, my computer auto-played clips of two zebras face-banging a grandma while I was typing that last sentence. Compare that to the ‘80s, when I devoted three weeks to eye-fucking the cover of Lillian Axe’s Love And War and had to repeat sixth grade. We had little else.

So a big thank-you to Steel Panther for Balls Out, their forthcoming “second debut album,” whose retro cover image (above) really tantalizes the horny eyeball. In fact, on the album’s EU pre-order page, you can zoom in and discern the folds of lady’s vagina. Labia I think they’re called. What am I, a doctor?

-ADF

Steel Panther’s Balls Out falls out on November 1. Pre-order it via your favorite huge online retailer. 

Kvelertak’s rise has been the very definition of “meteoric.” In 2009, no one knew who they were; then they released what was, in my opinion, the best album of 2010, and suddenly they were the topic of a million water cooler conversations, and now they’re friggin’ headliners. And you know what? They 110% deserve all their success, ’cause they really are that good.

And now, I’m thrilled to say, they have a video deserving of the music therein. The animation in the clip for “Blodtorst” feel unique in its style, and is certainly entertaining. It’s also chock-full of imagery that might best be described with the old adage, “metal as fuck.” And, of course, it never hurts that the song is great.

In case you missed the news yesterday, MetalSucks is proudly presenting Kvelertak’s upcoming co-headlining U.S. tour with Skeletonwitch, another band we totally love who are currently enjoying the well-earned fruits of its labors. And as though you needed another excuse to buy a ticket, Zoroaster is playing support! Get dates here.

-AR

Just one week after playing in Yankee Stadium with Anthrax as part of the “Big 4″ show, drummer Charlie Benante has shocked both the metal and baseball worlds by announcing his decision to ditch metal and throw away his long-time allegiance to the New York Yankees; Benante is now a New York Met.

“It was the show in Yankee Stadium that did it to me. I was disgusted by the attitude and hubris of that organization and their fans. What a bunch of pompous lunks,” said Benante when asked about signing with the cross-town rivals of his childhood favorite team. “I like being the underdog. Let’s be honest, the Mets stink right now and could use my help.” Indeed, with Mets owners Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz in deep financial trouble due to the pending lawsuit from Bernie Madoff recovery fund trustee Irving Picard, Benante provides an affordable option for the Mets moving forward.

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