WHAT’S WORSE THAN LULU? LULU LIVE!

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011 at 10:00am by

Lulu was originally announced as a “secret recording project,” and I thought that the use of the phrase “recording project” meant that we would never, ever have to hear this shit live.” Unfortunately, I was incorrect, ’cause Loutallica performed the song “Iced Honey” on the BBC’s Later… With Jools Holland last night. So if you’ve been dying for someone to combine the unadulterated awfulness of Lulu with the embarrassing sloppiness of modern Metallica live, well, boy oh boy do we have a treat for you!

The band also covered The Velvet Underground’s “White Light/White Heat.” I haven’t actually watched this clip because I’d like to preserve my untainted memory of the song, but you’re free to check it out after the jump.

-AR

[via The PRP]

  • Dontemailme

    I think they are little out of tune……….ROFLMFAO

  • http://www.cheapthinker.com/ Kyle

    That actually wasn’t as terrible as I expected it to be, but ‘Iced Honey’ is the only thing remotely resembling an actual song on the record.  

  • Anonymous

    I dislike this “song”

    But I dislike Lars even more, especially when he makes those stupid drummer faces.

    • http://thatdevilmusic.net Rob Liz

      That was Lars???? I could have sworn that was Phil Collins.

      • Dustin French

        Uh…… no, Phil Collins can outdrum Lars any day.  …. not that that’s a difficult task.

    • Dustin French

      Lars Ulrich and Tommy Lee have this in common:  they both make what they do look difficult — and therefore fool people into thinking they’re talented.

      • Stu1

        I was just thinking that. How strenuous can you make playing the most basic shit look???

  • http://www.facebook.com/FlannelBastard Dylan Jones

    Metallica’s embarrassing sloppiness live?  I saw them in ’08 and there was nothing sloppy about their performance aside from Hammett going crazy on the wah.  But that’s just Hammett for ya, bless his heart…
    Thank god he left Exodus.  Gary Holt is the man.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506137459 Chuck Wagner

      I’ll give ‘em that. They have been playing super tight as of late.

    • Metalwolf

      Yeah what the hell?  Say what you want about the material they’ve put out recently, but they’ve ALWAYS had a hella tight live show.  Lars threatens to bring it down at points, but the guitars have always run a tight ship.  I’m not gonna watch Iced Honey, but I’m sure any present sloppiness is due to the song being poorly “composed”, off-the-cuff nonsense like the rest of Lulu.  
      When Metallica actually cares about writing music thoroughly and well, then they play it thoroughly and well.

  • Chimp-0-Neg

    All the people clapped and cheered after the song. Why is that? Is it because these hipsters and older people are saying to themselves ”at first I thought – oh no! Its a metal band! Arrgh! Cover my ears… but then I saw – It’s Lour Reed and I thought: hey I can think this is cool! yeah It’s METAL grrrr!!”

    • Stu1

      No, because it’s a TV performance.

      • Chimp-0-Neg

        Spoilsport! thhhhhhhhhp!

  • Nespithe

    Gramptallica, fuck yeah!

  • Nochance

    Lou Reed is the biggest hack this side of Tyler Perry

  • Anonymous

    It doesn’t matter who you are. This is terrible. Iced honey.

  • David

    I actually got through about a minute and a half of iced honey before I started laughing.  Lars has a nice drum set.  The slaughtered white light tho…Mick Ronson must be rolling in his grave

  • Anonymous

    It doesn’t matter who you are. This is terrible. Iced honey.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506137459 Chuck Wagner

    Metallica will perform this Lulu horseshit live but not FIXXXER?

    • Krang

      Love that song.

  • kingben

    welcome to 2002 james hetfield with your shitty fauxhawk.

    • Anonymous

      looks like he’s trying out for the part of middle aged bill kelliher

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brandon-Moore/100000644501129 Brandon Moore

        My thoughts exactly!!!

    • Newworlddelusion

      Lets be kind to each other

      Paul Masvidal can get away with it James too.

  • Aaron

    Robert trujilio is all ” I joined fucking Metallica for this?”

    • Chimp-0-Neg

      yeah, I’m sure he’s crying into his royalty and live performance paychecks…

    • http://www.facebook.com/taylorcarik Taylor Carik

      yeah, I saw this and thought “Rob Trujillo is going to leave Metallica within a year”

      • Stu1

        Only if he’s been putting money away. Otherwise, back to a day gig.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=784250631 Dan Burton

    So Blabbermouth have just announced that Loutallica have sold a total of 13,000 copies of Lulu. However, as it’s a double disc album each disc counts towards one sale, meaning that only 6,500 total copies have been sold. That is around 1% of the first week sales of St. Anger.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

      And Megadeth’s newest release sold 42,000. 

      Game, set, match…Mustaine.

    • Akduncan

      That is not correct. Only the RIAA counts a multi disc album more than once and the same goes for DVDs. That’s how Amon Amarth got a Gold disc from the RIAA a few years back.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=784250631 Dan Burton

        Apologies if that isn’t the case. Even so, 13,000 copies is a total bomb for Metallica. And I agree with Corey, Mustaine must be absolutely grinning into his bible right now. 

  • Mike

    “the embarrassing sloppiness of modern Metallica live”

    I went to the Big 4 show in Indio not having seen Metallica since ’88. I saw a few clips throughout the years and didn’t feel like I had missed anything. I expected Metallica to turn in the 2nd or 3rd best performance.

    Instead, I was completely blown away by how much better they played than the rest of the bands. Lombardo is better than Lars, but Metallica as a live unit is almost without peer. They were superior in ways I’ve rarely experienced in a live setting.

    • WTF is ‘tallica?

      How were they superior? Just saying it doesn’t make it so.

      • Alexmonro83

         ”WTF is ‘tallica?”   Its the new term for AIDS.

    • Meathead

      Fool. I was there front and center. Slayer reigned it in, Metallica was good but needed some fireworks and shit to make a show out of it. They pulled off their classics, and did a good job of Orion… but ultimately their musical output was nowhere NEAR Slayer’s intensity and overall superior instrumentation. But, to each their own. Continue to lap up Lars’ buttsweat and leave the real shit for the rest us then. True ‘tallica fanboys might not get the humorous metaphor in there.

  • Sacajawea

    As much as Lulu sucks, Metallica fans need to stop giving people a reason to hate metal fans with shit like: http://blog.sfgate.com/dailydish/2011/11/03/lou-reed-receives-death-threats-over-metallica-album/

  • Dave Mustaine

    luving James’ faux-hawk.

    • http://www.facebook.com/kyle.koeppe Kyle Koeppe

      It being blonde, the sides black, and his goatee white, well, it just looks awful.

  • Brandon

    The number of articles Axl writes bitching about Metallica is ridiculous! we get it dude, you dont like the band, I agree, that performance is sloppy as fuck. but I think it’s safe to say you weren’t gonna give it a chance anyways….these are all recent articles.

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/11/04/oh-my-god-why-darren-aronofsky-to-direct-lulu-video/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/11/02/mastodon-feist-metallica-lou-reed/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/10/31/loutallicas-lulu-the-metalsucks-reviews/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/10/26/just-because-jason-newsted-isnt-in-metallica-anymore-doesnt-mean-he-cant-continue-to-make-terrible-music/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/10/26/at-least-james-hetfield-still-has-a-sense-of-humor/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/10/25/danko-jones-to-open-for-loutallica-on-upcoming-lulu-tour/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/10/24/metallica-prepares-terrible-3d-movie/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/10/21/question-of-the-week-besides-metallica-and-lou-reed-what-is-the-worst-collaboration-between-a-metal-bandartist-and-a-non-metal-bandartist-and-what-is-the-worst-one-you-could-possibly-imagine-in-y/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/10/20/lulu-pre-release-tributes-and-fake-pre-pro-demos-actual-lulu/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/10/20/you-can-listen-to-lulu-now/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/10/03/lars-ulrichs-mouth-is-still-writing-checks-his-music-cant-cash/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/09/26/obligatory-post-about-loutallicas-the-view-full-song/”

    “http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/09/18/argue-about-thirty-seconds-of-metallicalou-reeds-lulu/”

    • WTF is ‘tallica?

      Oh noes, a blogger who runs a metal site called MetalSucks that makes fun of metal bands makes fun of Metallica. Who’d a thunk it?

      Tissues for everyone!! 

      • Brandon

        Just sayin, an article here or there is fine but a post once every day? I think that’s kinda overdoing it. “SGT D” would at least be funny. 

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_A4BCAZIAXOEOJS2LJ46IQYJNGM Noah

          I think that Lulu deserves all this and more as far as scathing reviews… and certainly, this live performance does as well. this shit is funny, terrible and entertaining at the same time. Quit being such a bitch, Brandon.

        • Alexmonro83

          Axl is kinda overdoing it but personally I find that more hilarious than annoying.

  • Kuranes

    Lou Reed is the worst part about this.

  • KickMyJunk

    Metallica/Loutallica is a perfect example of what happens when a band is gratuitously praised by a bunch of dumbshit fanboys for 20+ years.  They could release an album of them coughing, sneezing, farting, and vomiting and their idiot fans would still snatch it up and worship it like gold.  Pathetic.

  • metalhead616

    LARS obvious had fun. nomatter what shit he plays. the dildo in his ass always has enough energy…^^

  • Poo Reed

    Jimmy Hetfield looks and acts like a total fag, his act is pathetic and sad. My God do they suck hard, just embarrassing.

  • Alex Van Ulrich

    Q: Why does Lars make those faces as if he’s playing the most difficult drum parts ever written?

    A: Because for him, they are.

  • justin

    JESUS CHRIST MONKEY BALLS THIS IS HORRIBLE

  • Terry Hawkins

    Lou and Metallica piss and shit all over you haters and your worthless lives. Bunch of moaning cunts the lot of you. Lulu=Album of the year.  

    • pringlebells

      nnnnnnope

    • Helliver

      Lulu=Album of the year? Nope, just Chuck Testa.

    • Alexmonro83

      “Breaking News Report. After months of campaigning by Terry Hawkins Loutallica has finally won the Nobel Peace Prize”.

  • Igottawocket

    Is Hetfield in his dress-like-a-fake-punk phase now?

    And to all of you saying Metallica are tight live… You are saying so through the beer-soaked excited to be seeing Metallica goggles you put on when seeing them live. I saw them a few years back and thought they sounded great, save Hetfield’s piece ‘o shit vocals. But with my ticket I got a download of my show and dear god almighty. The mistakes they made on songs they’be been playing for 30 years were to numerous to count. Case in point, one of the solos in Master of Puppets. Complete fuck up, bad, by Hetfield I think. Then Lars’ “drumming.” somewhere along the line did he just decide to forget how to drum? It’s fucking atrocious, as is their live performance if you really pay attention to it.

    • Rob M

      Forget how to drum?…Im pretty sure he never knew

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.gibbard Jacob Gibbard

    Bring back Mustaine!!!

  • Blerg

    Here’s what hasn’t been talked about enough: Loutallica is bad because of the Lou.  The riff is kind of cool, at least for the first 18 minutes or so.  But seriously, has Lou Reed had a stroke or something?  Is there something “meta” I’m missing about how terrible he is?  Is he going to take off his mask and turn out to be Dave Grohl playing a big joke on everyone or something?

  • American Ruse

    Lou looks exactly like Jason Newsted. I hope Metallica do more collaborations… this shit is hilarious! It’s genius – record some riffs and have someone talk over it saying “strange” things…

    • willy

      im  with u pal, and that performace keep me thinking … what if they bring back mustaine and newsted for more anticlimatic collaborations??? 
      and in  the other hand, if they could erase the lou reed an metallica names, that mash up would be more funny and no one would be pissed off about it

  • Loutallica

    See
    http://loutallica.blogspot.com/p/lulu-in-their-own-words.html — I’ve
    never seen such a complete disconnect between a band’s narcissistic
    conception of themselves and the critical response from fans and rock
    critics alike.

  • iPlaySpector

    “Iced Honey”? I heard it as “IIII SHARTED!”

  • Chaly

    YOU CAN”T PUT A BUTTERFLY IN A JAR!!!

  • SomeGuyFromCanada

    It’s not so much that Metallica was bad here, it’s just Lou has no sense of pitch and rhythm in his vocals.  Sure he might be a decent creative writer but man, are you even trying to sing?  It’s just grating.  

    My first real experience with Lou was at Lollapalooza 2009 where I was legitimately excited to see a ‘legend’. He ran through a few ‘classics’ (which I’d never heard on any radio ever on the entire planet might I add) but then he ran his set 15 minutes overtime with a segment from Metal Machine Music and completely fucked up the rest of the bill on the final night.  Jane’s Addiction and Band of Horses played simultaneously side by side for a good 10 minutes.  FAIL.  Now this.

  • Dd

    geeeeez! that was painful. grumpy old men playing autotune hard rock. delete immediately!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Danielpigsqueals Daniel Ramirez

    This legitimately makes me angry. Why the fuck does Lou Reed sound like he’s talking?

  • Anonymous

    I’m still pretending that this isn’t real.  Lulu is just an internet hoax, one of those myths like the nude code in Tomb Raider. 

  • Spaceman36

    Lou Reed seems to have turned not giving a shit, mumbling and strumming the same two notes over and over into an artistic stance. Velvet Underground was great but fuck that cantankerous old hack now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=35803088 Melissa Stern

    why did i think clicking play was going to be a good idea… it was rather awful, now i need to pour lye in my ears

  • http://www.facebook.com/mcpendergast Michael Cody Pendergast

    Even Lou looks kind of bummed to be there