Cinemetal

THE DARKNESS < STEEL PANTHER

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Yesterday I received a press release about how The Darkness were about to release a new song, leading me to wonder via my Twitter account (and, consequently, my Facebook page — the two are linked! Isn’t technology glorious?) “The Darkness are still a thing?” This led to several interesting interactions with readers/followers, including what defines “a thing” (popularity, not quality), and whether or not The Darkness are inferior, superior, or equal to Steel Panther.

But why the hell would you ever compare The Darkness to Steel Panther? I guess ’cause they’re both cock rock parody bands… except that Steel Panther write better songs, are better live, and are actually, y’know, funny. Steel Panther seems like a loving satire — that is, a joke told by some dudes who simultaneously adore and recognize the ridiculousness of their chosen genre (y’know, kinda like a certain website you read from time to time), whereas The Darkness just seems like ironic douchebag nonsense. There’s no grace to what The Darkness do — they just give people who won’t admit to liking metal an excuse to listen to metal while maintaining their “cred.” The difference can be seen in the crowds that attend each band’s shows: I’m generalizing here, but Steel Panther concerts are largely populated by headbangers and metal sluts, folks wearing vintage Warrant shirts because they love Warrant — in other words, the very people the band is making fun of; The Darkness concerts are populated with people who “ironically” paid $150 for a vintage Warrant shirt, which they will wear to Darkness shows and nowhere else.

Which brings us to “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us,” the new Darkness song in question. I actually think the video is terrific — so much so that I wish it were for a different band. ‘Cause the song is weaker than Zima. The mere mention of, say, Steel Panther’s “If You Really Really Love Me” will get that tune stuck in my head for days. On the other hand, I’ve already forgotten how “Stop Us” goes, and I just watched the video twice. So, yeah.

-AR

I would never have actually watched this video if John hadn’t posted it on my Facebook wall this morning. Thanks, dude.

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