IN WHICH WE SUFFERED TRAUMATIC ANAL DEVASTATION

In case you’re wondering, I was lying when I said I was having a wisdom tooth removed by an oral surgeon. In fact, I simply traveled to Spain, where I had the tooth knocked out by a pizza boomerang.

Here’s some other shit we did this week:

• We debuted new music by Terrorizer and Seas Will Rise.
• We spoke to Doug Pinnick from King’s X.
• We got a Superbowl wrap-up from Lazarus A.D.’s Jeff Paulick, and a NBA wind-down from God Forbid’s Doc Coyle.
• We checked out the latest releases from The Safety Fire and Born Low, Ceremony, and Code Orange Kids. We also read Ace Frehley’s autobiography.
• We were very excited to hear this new Meshuggah track.
• We were also excited to learn that Jesse Leach has re-joined Killswitch Engage, but offered the band some unsolicited advice anyway.
• We were less excited to hear the rumor that Sharon Osbourne fired Bill Ward, but not surprised to hear Sharon call “bullshit.”
• We learned that Metallica will be hosting their own “Orion” festival in Atlantic City this summer.
• We got some Emmure-releated study aids.
• We learned that grindcore makes great political protest music.

Okay, I still have a shitload of narcotics left over from my procedure this week, and they ain’t gonna take themselves, so, uh… see ya Monday!

-AR