The Webernets



Bummer: that hilarious Craig’s List “Missed Connections” ad we ran last week, in which a woman claimed to be looking for the dude who knocked her up at a recent Megadeth/Motorhead show, has been confirmed as a fake. We suspected as much from the moment we saw it, but still… sometimes as an adult you try and hold onto to that childlike belief that magical things really can happen. And then you find out that Ted Nugent isn’t going to jail and no one was searching for their baby daddy via the internet and you go back to being a hardened, cynical prick.

But I digress.

David Shapiro from Fuse actually managed to get “Crash,” the woman who placed the ad, on the phone, and then —

We spoke for about thirty seconds, and she told me, nervously, that she was 23 (not 28 as the ad said) and from a small town in Kansas (not Chicago as the ad said) and then, once it started to set in that this was a hoax and I was kind of struggling for words and thinking about the look on my editor’s face when I told him, she said, anxiously and quietly, “I’m going to make this easy for you: It was a joke. I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to trick you.”

It turns out that she placed the ad as a joke to amuse a boy while struggling with a bout of medication-induced insomnia, and that she can’t even name any Megadeth or Motorhead songs — she simply chose that show because the date made the whole “I just found I’m knocked up bit” plausible, and because it seemed like a “banging in the bathroom-type” concert (fair enough). But she adds:

“I’m pretty sure there were people banging at that concert, by the way, based on email responses from a few terrified concertgoers who thought that they had impregnated me. I may not be pregnant, but someone is. There’s no way there weren’t a few accidental pregnancies. I’m anticipating the world’s greatest Maury episode.”

Hey, I’d watch that.


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