TOM CRUISE AND AUTOTUNE TEAM UP TO RUIN DEF LEPPARD, MAKE ME GOUGE MY EARDRUMS OUT
As we’ve reported before, this summer Tom Cruise will be appearing in the movie version of the Broadway jukebox musical Rock of Ages in an effort to dispel rumors that he’s a closeted homosexual. And while the soundtrack for the film doesn’t come out until June 5, a snippet of Cruise “singing” Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” has been released, and it’s somehow even worse than you may have feared. The reason I typed “singing,” you see, is because Cruise’s vocals have CLEARLY been manipulated all to hell on a computer; at this point, it sounds about as much like Justin Bieber as it sounds like Tom Cruise. I’m not sure if Cruise thinks he’s fooling people or if he knows in this day and age of autotune prevalence that it just won’t matter, but either way, he should really go fuck himself at his earliest convenience.
Cruise also apparently covers Guns N’ Roses’ “Paradise City” on the soundtrack. If we’re very, very lucky, it will be only the second worst version of that song we’ve ever heard.