25 CONSPIRACY THEORIES DAVE MUSTAINE (PROBABLY) BELIEVES ARE TRUE

1. 5 CONSPIRACY THEORIES DAVE MUSTAINE (PROBABLY) BELIEVES ARE TRUE" width="267" height="375" />The world is secretly run by a group of men who meet every year at Bohemian Grove.
2. The United States government is concealing evidence of an alien spaceship crash in Roswell, New Mexico.
3. President Barack Obama and his administration staged the recent shootings in Aurora, Colorado and Oak Creek, Wisconsin so that he could pass laws which would allow him to take away Americans’ guns and install a Communist dictatorship in the United States.
4. Gary Holt from Exodus convinced James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich to fire him from Metallica in order to further the professional life of his secret lover, Kirk Hammett.
5. Cliff Burton is not dead, he’s on an island somewhere secretly running every aspect of the metal industry. In the past eight years he has been joined on that island by Dimebag and Ronnie James Dio.
6. Every negative review of Megadeth published in the 80s was written by Ron McGovney under a pseudonym.
7. There are impostors in Kiss posing as Ace Frehley and Peter Criss.
8. Ozzy Osbourne has been played by a hologram since 1995.
9. Marty Friedman quit Megadeth after James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich bribed him to do so and convert to Japanese.
10. Weed is illegal because if everyone smoked weed then everyone would see that Megadeth is better than Metallica, and President Barack Obama will NOT allow that to happen.
11. Special drugs in our tap water supply trick people into thinking that hip-hop is good.
12. Jaz Coleman’s recent “disappearance” was actually a top-secret mission to Prague, where he worked as the prosecuting attorney in the Randy Blythe case.
13. Arsis’ constant line-up changes are due to the fact that James Malone is a cannibal who keeps eating his bandmates and then saying they “left for personal reasons.”
14. Tosin Abasi is actually seventy-two years old and has been playing guitar for a really long time.
15. Acrassicauda engineered 9/11.
16. The Duplantier Brothers only care about the environment because they own stock in Greenpeace.
17. Clark Kent is Superman, just with glasses.
18. Bruce Dickinson maintains his youthful energy and vocal chords via use of Orgone energy.
19. Nergal’s success is due to a pact with a satanic cult that also counts Ihsahn, Jeff Loomis, and Lady Gaga amongst its members.
20. Monte Conner was let go from Roadrunner Records because his real name is “Monte Connor” and he’s secretly Irish, not Jewish.
21. Slash isn’t real.
22. Kerry King is a member of The League of Shadows.
23. Scott Ian killed Jesus.
24. Risk only failed because Cliff Burnstein at Jew Prime made some phone calls.
25. Vince Neilstein is President Barack Obama.

-AR