Fear, Emptiness, Decibel: Listen to the New Agoraphobic Nosebleed Christmas Flexi Disc!!!
Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…
We have a new Christmas tradition at Decibel—it’s not manger arson, but it’s the next best thing. Every holiday season, grindcore’s most morally depraved supergroup, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, will assemble like a Voltron of communicable disease to slam a new holiday flexi disc up your stocking.
You may recall last year’s 11-tracks-in-four-minutes bell-jingler Make a Joyful Noise (sample titles: “With a Sniff and a Wink,” “Eyes Like Two Pissholes in the Snow”). Well, Scott Hull (Pig Destroyer), Richard Johnson (Drugs of Faith), Katherine Katz (ex-Salome) and Jay Randall have emerged from their workshop to stuff your frozen corpse with even more holiday cheer! For their second-annual Decibel holiday flexi, ANb have cooked up future caroling classic “Merry Chrystmeth.” Arriving on festive green-on-white plastic, it’ll be available exclusively to subscribers, but you can O.D. on their suspiciously thick and sticky brand of eggnog right now!
Watch the depraved video, directed by Maryland Deathfest: The Movie helmsman David Hall.
There are a limited about of copies of the issue containing the ANb flexi available in the dB webstore now. Grab one and sing along to the extremely reflective and godly lyrics below.
All I want for Christmas is to chew solid food
Appetite returned with me to rehab
but meth left me long in the tooth
and they had to be removed
With visions of sugar plums
dancing in my head
gumming a candy cane
wishing it was the end of a stem
No job, no prospects
no family, no friends
No reason to not get high
It’s a wonderful life
Don’t give a shit
just my piss in a cup
to be tested by some fuck
who I guess gives a fuck
What a wonderful life they got
The January issue of Decibel also features Down, Baroness, and the list of The Top 40 Metal Albums of 2012, and can be ordered here. But why not just get a full subscription to ensure that you never miss one of these awesome flexi discs?