Paul Di’Anno, the fat, bitter, thieving, lying, hypocritical former vocalist for Iron Maiden, was recently playing a show in Donetsk, Ukraine, when a fan started shouting something about Bruce Dickinson, which, admittedly, is a real asshole move. Unfortunately, Di’Anno blew the rare opportunity to make himself look like a decent guy, handling the heckler with his usual amount of class and razor-sharp wit:
“I’m sorry – I don’t do opera. [Imitates Bruce Dickinson singing ‘Run to the Hills.’] It’s too fucking easy – and I’m not gay.”
“This is punk. If you like Bruce Dickinson go home and listen to his records. Why did you buy a ticket, motherfucker? This is real punk, man. This is what made Iron Maiden – not the money-making machine.
“If you don’t like me, fuck off. Better still – you want to fight? You’ll be sorry. I’ll rip your head off and shit down your neck you motherfucker.”
He then referred to the heckler as “the one gay person here tonight,” and began a rendition of “Running Free,” introducing the song as being “about sex, drugs, rock’n’roll, Harley Davidson motorcycles” — Harley Davidson motorcycles, of course, being the one true measure of a man’s heterosexuality — continuing to make threatening hand gestures at the heckler all the while.
I’m not even sure that I need to make fun of Di’Anno here, because he’s one of those total morons who basically hangs himself every time he opens his mouth, but I will make some simple points:
- Although Di’Anno’s vocal style is undeniably grittier than Dickinson’s, the band never sounded especially punk.
- If doing Dickinson-style vocals are so easy, I’d love to hear Di’Anno give it a shot.
- If Di’Anno ever tried to run around the stage the way Dickinson does, I imagine he’d drop dead from a heart attack within one-two minutes.
- If liking Bruce Dickinson makes you gay, then someone please send Rip Taylor and the cast of Magic Mike to the MetalSucks Mansion STAT. And tell those fellas to bring extra lube, ’cause they’re gonna hafta go visit millions and millions of fans all over the world after they’re done here, too.
Luckily this shitard is supposed to be retiring soon, at which point, hopefully, we will never hear from him again.
Here’s video of the incident if you’re interested:
[via Classic Rock]
This post was last modified on December 16, 2013, 10:31 am